relationships and pool = what?

[macguy]

I need opinions on whether or not a relationship is good for a pool career or for a pool player in general. is it worth it? does it mess things up? or make things worse or more stressfull ? tell me what you know from experience or from plain knowledge.

A good relationship and family give pool the 5 ball. I go to the pool room and look at the pathetic guys hanging around pretending they have it made and feel sorry for most of them. The truth is though that a good relationship should include one being able to have things that are just theirs, be it pool, music whatever. It is nice if both can share in it but should not be essential as long as you have things you do together.

My wife likes to play pool and that is a plus but she also like her theater and art groups she supports that I have no interest in and we both like to travel and work around the house, cook, and share many other interests as well. If in the course of the relationship one asks the other to give up something they like, for no particular reason, maybe their relationship is not that good in the first place, there has to be a give and take. A couple is made up of two individuals who should not have to lose their identity to be part of the relationship.

To answer your question, pool in most cases is not a career and one of the members of the team is being asked to live with what is essentially a bum who can't even support them, that's a lot to ask. I would not see it lasting very long if the woman has a brain in her head. A pool career is nice if you already have a means of support, Investments, rental real estate, a business such as a pool room or something, but why would a woman want to hitch her wagon to a bum with not future.

 

[drivermaker]

On thing to consider is that all kinds of professions require one person to be "on the road" and they don't deprive themselves of a realtionship.

Of course they do...it's definitely not as full a relationship as they COULD have if one wasn't traveling. Hell, it's not even a good relationship to oneself when you have to travel all over hell and be away from your own bed, home, and people that you care about.

 

[Lora_Ann]

Dm

What was it that allowed you to determine that?

Has the three poster ban per thread rule been implemented yet

DM, I hope you will excuse my broad stokes for a moment, but, in stated in plain language, you guys are easily offended. Cast your mind back to the time when Susie snatched the academic spotlight in your 7th year math class... remember that feeling?

Most men retain that feeling of false superiority throughout their adult years. This is what I have gleaned.

I am still seeking the truly enlightened one.

 

[drivermaker]

Cast your mind back to the time when Susie snatched the academic spotlight in your 7th year math class... remember that feeling?

Nope...don't remember that at all. Fact is, math class was tough as hell for some reason with almost all of the girls. I blew them out in math.

They were good in English though, but it NEVER bothered me academically. I would have been royally pissed if one of them struck me out at the plate, but they didn't play baseball either. Talk to Mawissa...she'll teach you how to look for love in all the right places.

 

[Roll-Off]

Has the three poster ban per thread rule been implemented yet

DM, I hope you will excuse my broad stokes for a moment, but, in stated in plain language, you guys are easily offended. Cast your mind back to the time when Susie snatched the academic spotlight in your 7th year math class... remember that feeling?

Most men retain that feeling of false superiority throughout their adult years. This is what I have gleaned.

I am still seeking the truly enlightened one.

Here she goes again. Trying to act all educated. Has anyone determined if Lori Ann is a real person or an alias? I mean, who poses for pictures like that?

 

[Lora_Ann]

Nope...don't remember that at all. Fact is, math class was tough as hell for some reason with almost all of the girls. I blew them out in math.

They were good in English though, but it NEVER bothered me academically. I would have been royally pissed if one of them struck me out at the plate, but they didn't play baseball either. Talk to Mawissa...she'll teach you how to look for love in all the right places.

The fact that you have just lumped me in with Marissa confirms my previous assertions. A misogynist never outgrows his skin. When will you finally molt, DM?

 

[Lora_Ann]

Here she goes again. Trying to act all educated. Has anyone determined if Lori Ann is a real person or an alias? I mean, who poses for pictures like that?

Here I go again? Sorry for the picture and proper language. This is how I speak and this is how I pose for a picture. Who the hell are you?

 

[LastTwo]

I need opinions on whether or not a relationship is good for a pool career or for a pool player in general. is it worth it? does it mess things up? or make things worse or more stressfull ? tell me what you know from experience or from plain knowledge.

It all depends on the personality of your significant other. I was in a relationship for about 2 years, and she was the only girl I ever fell in love with. Before I got with her, I was playing the best pool of my life. I became so infatuated with her I basically quit playing. She wanted me to spend more time with her so I did. In the middle of our relationship I started to miss the game badly and I took up playing again, and I've been in a slump ever since. That was in 2002. Even though I have never played at the level I used to before I was with that girl, and even though she broke my heart at the end of our relationship, I wouldn't trade the first year of our relationship for anything in the world. I learned alot from that, and I have come to accept my game where it is. If your significant other is not a pool player, chances are you are not going to be playing as much as you want to, and sometimes you wont play at all. Love can do that.

 

[Travis Bickle]

If she doesn't play, she will undermine you with endless whining and pouting and your game will never reach its full potential. Thank god I've got an excuse!

 

[Barbara]

It would also help if your SO had a hobby of his/her own. My husband rediscovered wood turning which turned out to be a more expensive hobby than it cost for all of my pool equipment, Boti and all.

And that's okay with me. It's a matter of mutual respect within a relationship.

Barbara

 

[Timberly]

I need opinions on whether or not a relationship is good for a pool career or for a pool player in general. is it worth it? does it mess things up? or make things worse or more stressfull ? tell me what you know from experience or from plain knowledge.

I tried to repsond but the truth of the matter is that I could damn near write a book on this. I've been on every side there is to be on in this matter. I know when people get long winded in posts, I tend to not read it.... in a nutshell... it can be done. IMO, the girl/guy must have basic knowledge of the game. They must understand the need to practice to keep in stroke. They've also got to understand that your love of the game was there before you met them. Because you're playing in tourney's or leagues, or both, or whatever... they have to realize that you're not avoiding them & it's not personal... it's just something that you've always loved & if they can't understand & respect that then it's not going to work. One or the both of you will be miserable and someone will get hurt.

Sheesh, I've typed so muych & erased so much... I cannot respond to the question with a simple answer. It's not simple but it can be done. If that's all you wanted to know... Great! If you're actually wanting details & examples... come see me at the next tourney. I'll chew your ear off.

 

[Koop]

What's so wrong with how she poses? ?!?

I kinda like it too. Long-live the hot women posters

 

[hobokenapa]

They've also got to understand that your love of the game was there before you met them.

Alas, there is my problem. I've been in a relationship for 4.5 years, and I only started playing three years ago, and have got more serious about it ever since. Now I'm approaching A standard, I want to play more tournaments but then it goes back to the original line on this post "You'd rather do a pool tournament than be with me?"

At the end of the day, you can't have it all. We should be fortunate we have someone to love, and to be loved by. I'm sure we'd all rather have that.

 

[sarahrousey]

I can also give another girl point of view. Guys, believe me, it is just as hard for a girl pool player to maintain a relationship as it is for a guy pool player. In fact it may be harder. I am no relationship expert, nor do I have much experience.

What I have learned is that guys who do not play pool think it is "cool" that you play pool and are good. Then they realize that you are going into a pool room full of guys and are friends with about 90% guys. Enter everyone's good friend jealousy. God forbid a girl be friends with guys without "extra-curricular activities".

As for dating someone that plays pool. I would imagine it would be a good thing. Someone to travel with and someone who understands everything you are going through. The ups and downs of tournaments, gambling, being out of stroke, celebrating a good shot, etc. It seems to me it would be the "perfect" situation. The only problem is finding someone that is honest and trustworthy. Not to put down players of either sex but there are alot of them out there with sordid pasts.

All in all I think it comes down to being supportive and understanding. In my opinion if you are in a relationship with someone you try to understand and support everything they do, unless it is something harmful to you or them. If you have a love for something, pool or anything else, they should support it. If not, there is a certain speech....the pool is my first love speech. I think when the right person comes along the love for pool and them will balance out (that could be wishful thinking due to lack of experience).

sorry for rambling.

Sarah

 

[Jimmy M.]

Not to put down players of either sex but there are alot of them out there with sordid pasts.

Bah. Now you're just exaggerating.

 

[Snapshot9]

My .02 cents

I have played 43 years. I started chasing girls at 6,
and I started with Pool at 14. I have been married
4 times to 3 women. Unless your wife is involved in
Pool quite a bit (plays in women events and gambles
a little) she will never understand your mindset about
Pool. None of my marriages broke up because of Pool
because my marriages came first, and I usually geared
my playing down for the sake of the marriage, BUT wives
do not understand when you happen to catch a good
money game, and play for 16 hours straight, and that
you will not be calling them every 2 hours to reassure
them that you are not 'fooling around' or because you
know a conservation with them will effect you emotionally
in a negative way and ultimately affect the outcome
of the match. I usually do not play Pool when I am with
a girlfriend or wife because they get bored after so long,
and having to worry about them and the game doesn't
work (they were attractive women and you know how
other pool players are!).

The only relationship that I think will work is a casual
boyfriend/girlfriend thing with space for both and together
for both when available. If it gets serious, kiss it good bye.
Now if you split winnings with her, she will be more tolerate,
and that is what I did with some, is give her half of my winnings.

The only other one is where she is pretty involved in Pool too,
has the fever some, and understands your mindset about Pool.
So, if this is what you are looking for, then you have to find
one that is your size and that you are attracted to, and the
only 1 of those offhand I can remember was a little Asian girl
from Omaha that played in a tournament here long ago.

Besides, most Pool players that don't have some type of life
other than Pool, usually aren't worth the time for the girls, IMO.

 

[Tommy-D]

> Before I met my ex wife,pool was the single most important thing in the world other than family and friends. When I met her and we started seeing each other,I made damn sure she knew that,and added that the very first time she made me choose between them,I'd help her pack. In fact,I was in the poolroom a mere 3 hours after getting married. Instead of taking a honeymoon,we went to the 2000 U.S. Open,which she went out and took out a loan by herself to sponsor me in,because she knew how important it was for me to find out if I could get there on the big stage,even with us being divorced,I will never forget that. My advice to guys that want to introduce your girlfriends/wives to pool,is make sure you illustrate how bored they might get,and plan accordingly. Tell them to bring enough diversions such as books,magazines,crossword puzzles or whatever to last them a minimum of 12 hours if taking them to a tournament,this number obviously increases if it is more than a one day event. Another thing you can do is try to educate them about the game at home,watching Accu-Stats videos or ESPN,and try to explain why people do certain things,whatever you can to spark her interest. This area I live in is so devoid of decent female players,they are treated as an oddity,and the ones we do have have been rode hard and put up wet repeatedly by now. Tommy D.

 

[drivermaker]

The fact that you have just lumped me in with Marissa confirms my previous assertions. A misogynist never outgrows his skin. When will you finally molt, DM?

LMAO...I knew it was only going to be a matter of time before I was called a misogynist, none the less from a true misanthrope herself.

Am I a misogynist...HELL NO! Am I a subservient subjugated lackey doorstep for some whining bitchy broad...that's a DOUBLE HELL NO!! Ain't gonna happen and will NEVER happen. (ooops...I said "ain't"...I told you the girls were better in English)

 

[chefjeff]

I(snip)

there is a certain speech....the pool is my first love speech. I think when the right person comes along the love for pool and them will balance out (that could be wishful thinking due to lack of experience).

sorry for rambling.

Sarah

I had to give this speech about two years ago. When I told Barb that pool was the love of my life, her surprised look melted into resignation and we've been fine ever since with my time spent playing.

I met her at a pool hall, but she never plays anymore. I think she wants me out of the house occasionally and pool helps us to get away from each other and therefore helps us enjoy our time together.

If one can find a nice balance like this, then pool can continue to get better and better and this can help one's relationship. Romantic love is too important for a game to ruin it, imho.

Jeff Livingston

 

[NewGuy]

Can I suggest you invite her to play with you on your apa team? Most teams need a 2 (assuming she does not play much, if at all) and if she likes it, she might start to "get it" and she might enjoy spending the time with you...

Tried it... didn't work. I wish she would join my team, I do need a 2 for next season. I tried to introduce her to the game. I even bought her a cue stick (which is now collecting a lot of dust ). For about three weeks it was great. It got to a point where she was rapidly improving and getting the pool bug. Unfortunately, her meddling mom got in her head and squashed it. Her mom basically told her that it's not proper for girls to play pool.