Share Your Favorite Pool Hall Quips!
- Thread starter LoGiC
- Start date
Minnesota Fats (aka Fat Minnie, Rudolph Wanderone, His Heaviness) had hundreds of funny quips:
"The chances of him beating me at that game are none and ABSOLUTELY NONE".
When asked about losing to an amatuer player at an exhibition, Fats says, "If it ain't for the cash, I don't care if Little Red Riding Hood beats me".
"The chances of him beating me at that game are none and ABSOLUTELY NONE".
When asked about losing to an amatuer player at an exhibition, Fats says, "If it ain't for the cash, I don't care if Little Red Riding Hood beats me".
Belly-up To The Table Like A Man!
For you "milk dudes"
here's one that's not too old, from a not-so old-timer:
BELLY-UP TO THE TABLE LIKE A MAN. Use this one when your opponent keeps whining for weight.
Author: JoeyA
--------------------------------------------------------------------LoGiC said:What were some of your favorites, or just share a few that stuck in your head:
"Dude that shot was so sick- It musta gone to shot hospital!"
"They call me All day- thats right; all day"
"Holy shit! that pockets just suckin' my balls down like a vacuum!"
Those were just a few that I still clearly remember the nights the happened on. You old timers
For you "milk dudes"
here's one that's not too old, from a not-so old-timer:BELLY-UP TO THE TABLE LIKE A MAN. Use this one when your opponent keeps whining for weight.
Author: JoeyA
jrmuckadoo
Registered
quips
A freind ran a set of alt. break 8 ball race to six on a Canadian champ.
A woman walked up to us and said-
"That guy's a National Champ...etc he plays great!"
My freind (who knew exactly how good the guy played) looked at me and said-
"Does he??"
Same freind came back and won from being down 0-6 in a race to seven. He came up to after the match and said-
"for a minute there I wasn't sure if I still had the nuts."
Different freind likes to say-
"I beat him so bad he couldn't draw his rock anymore."
Another freind said of a guy that has a monster 9 ball barbox break-"playing him is like, (break) 6 ball in he corner!"
When I first started playing pool (age 13) and my dad would beat me he use to say-
"What do you think this is the YMCA? do you think you're playing with kids here?"
Every single time my dad got around a pool table he'd say-
"what, did they saw the legs off this thing?"
Every time he was getting ready to break-
"up your ass with the spot!"
Later on whenever he won his first game, the Cinncinatti kid line came out-
"you're good kid, real good, but when I'm in town you're second best."
When my dad (nickname "The Booda") was shooting my brother would always say-
"Look at him move...he's like a dancer...and those fingers...those chubby little fingers."
Man, growing up around pool was the nuts!
Muck
A freind ran a set of alt. break 8 ball race to six on a Canadian champ.
A woman walked up to us and said-
"That guy's a National Champ...etc he plays great!"
My freind (who knew exactly how good the guy played) looked at me and said-
"Does he??"
Same freind came back and won from being down 0-6 in a race to seven. He came up to after the match and said-
"for a minute there I wasn't sure if I still had the nuts."
Different freind likes to say-
"I beat him so bad he couldn't draw his rock anymore."
Another freind said of a guy that has a monster 9 ball barbox break-"playing him is like, (break) 6 ball in he corner!"
When I first started playing pool (age 13) and my dad would beat me he use to say-
"What do you think this is the YMCA? do you think you're playing with kids here?"
Every single time my dad got around a pool table he'd say-
"what, did they saw the legs off this thing?"
Every time he was getting ready to break-
"up your ass with the spot!"
Later on whenever he won his first game, the Cinncinatti kid line came out-
"you're good kid, real good, but when I'm in town you're second best."
When my dad (nickname "The Booda") was shooting my brother would always say-
"Look at him move...he's like a dancer...and those fingers...those chubby little fingers."
Man, growing up around pool was the nuts!
Muck
Two players in a race to 5 for money...
Score 4-4
Game 9 ball
Player A is on the 9 and has what would be considered an easy shot. Player A misses it and hangs it in the pocket.
Player B, before shooting the 9 for the win says to player A "Whats the matter Bob? Don't you like money?"
Score 4-4
Game 9 ball
Player A is on the 9 and has what would be considered an easy shot. Player A misses it and hangs it in the pocket.
Player B, before shooting the 9 for the win says to player A "Whats the matter Bob? Don't you like money?"
After watching a road player loose 15 in a row and asked to raise the bet to a local guy who could play but was scared to death. The local refused to raise the bet and the roady replied "Whats the matter are you afraid you might win some money?"
I fell out of my chair laughing so hard! The local dude proceeded to win 15 more games and the road agent quits.
I fell out of my chair laughing so hard! The local dude proceeded to win 15 more games and the road agent quits.
after a tournament i asked tony chohan how he did in his match and he replied "I dogged the coin toss". I said "what do you mean?" he then proceeded to tell me how his opponent flipped the coin, won the toss , and then ran six to win.
i was in reno , the sands tourney was just starting, and i was one of the stake horses putting tony in action against marlon. tonys getting the 8 , ten ahead for $3500.richard burns is betting on marlon, dave rodden is betting on tony. daves been barking at richard for a couple of hours trying to bump the bet when richard says " i havent heard this much white trash since i seen eight mile!!" there was probably 50 people in the room and not one still in there chair, one of the funniest ive ever witnessed!!
last one , we got a local player named walt dorsey. richard burns is native american. richards tryin to get walt to match up , when out of the blue , walt pipes off with "richard, playin me just might put you back in a tee pee!!" again i fell out of my chair!!
i was in reno , the sands tourney was just starting, and i was one of the stake horses putting tony in action against marlon. tonys getting the 8 , ten ahead for $3500.richard burns is betting on marlon, dave rodden is betting on tony. daves been barking at richard for a couple of hours trying to bump the bet when richard says " i havent heard this much white trash since i seen eight mile!!" there was probably 50 people in the room and not one still in there chair, one of the funniest ive ever witnessed!!
last one , we got a local player named walt dorsey. richard burns is native american. richards tryin to get walt to match up , when out of the blue , walt pipes off with "richard, playin me just might put you back in a tee pee!!" again i fell out of my chair!!
One incredible exclamation I remember from one of our unique characters here in New Orleans. It was the infamous "Tenneco" playing another local. Tenneco BARELY misses the object ball with lots of spin on the cue ball and it caroms out of control making no other balls. The opponent says "That's a foul", and Tenneco screams at the poor guy, "Are you crazy, didn't you see me fan that ball?" Tenneco got away with that one, that day as the opponent didn't know what to say but Tenneco still managed to lose.
JoeyA
JoeyA
big daddys said:
I think I went to high school with Walt Dorsey. Where do you live?
i heard richard hsu the cuemaker, who's not a very big guy, used this line one night on an opponent when he made the 9ball on the break.
"you know, when i woke up this morning i felt stronger."
i was rolling.
"you know, when i woke up this morning i felt stronger."
i was rolling.
Let's see, the favorite ones I use are:
* That was a middle east runout: I Rack, I Ran. (Iraq, Iran).
* When I miss and accidentally hook someone - That was a 2-way shot!
* When I play a real doozy of a shot - That's on my video! or Efren, look out!
* When they get lucky - I see you stopped by the bakery and bought a dozen rolls!
* When I can't catch a break - I should have stopped by the bakery for a roll.
* When someone comments how well someone else plays - I taught him everything he knows, just not everything I know!
* When someone runs out a rack in a particularly ugly way - I feel violated!
* When having a bad day - I couldn't even hit the floor if I fell on it!
* When someone goes multiple rails and barely nudges the 9 - You cheeseball!
* When going into a gambling session or tournament match with a better player, Mike says: "I feel like I'm going into a den of wolves with a pork chop coat on!"
* When encouraging a team mate - BE the ball!
* When in a tournament with that sick, gut-clenching feeling - I actually paid money for this torture?
OK, these I heard in the pool room and they are particularly funny, but not about pool:
"Linda, what would you rather have? A million dollars or his stomach full of nickels?"
"When she walks, her butt looks like 2 cats fighting in a gunny sack."
* That was a middle east runout: I Rack, I Ran. (Iraq, Iran).
* When I miss and accidentally hook someone - That was a 2-way shot!
* When I play a real doozy of a shot - That's on my video! or Efren, look out!
* When they get lucky - I see you stopped by the bakery and bought a dozen rolls!
* When I can't catch a break - I should have stopped by the bakery for a roll.
* When someone comments how well someone else plays - I taught him everything he knows, just not everything I know!
* When someone runs out a rack in a particularly ugly way - I feel violated!
* When having a bad day - I couldn't even hit the floor if I fell on it!
* When someone goes multiple rails and barely nudges the 9 - You cheeseball!
* When going into a gambling session or tournament match with a better player, Mike says: "I feel like I'm going into a den of wolves with a pork chop coat on!"
* When encouraging a team mate - BE the ball!
* When in a tournament with that sick, gut-clenching feeling - I actually paid money for this torture?
OK, these I heard in the pool room and they are particularly funny, but not about pool:
"Linda, what would you rather have? A million dollars or his stomach full of nickels?"
"When she walks, her butt looks like 2 cats fighting in a gunny sack."
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after lucking a ball in - "only way to get shape"
"shooting the ball into the rail and missing all six pockets every time takes talent"
"I didn't miss, I hit the exact point on the rail I was aiming for."
after someone hits a ball extremely hard - "he hit that ball like it owed him child support"
"That wasn't luck, there are six pockets for a reason, what kind of a player would I be if I didn't have a backup plan"
Famous:
"leave em' broke, leave em' happy" - Jersey Red
"it's like a nightmare isn't it" - you know who
"I can't teach you because I don't know what I'm doing" - Luther Clement "Wimpy" Lassiter
"I'm god" - New York Fats
(made that last one up)
"shooting the ball into the rail and missing all six pockets every time takes talent"
"I didn't miss, I hit the exact point on the rail I was aiming for."
after someone hits a ball extremely hard - "he hit that ball like it owed him child support"
"That wasn't luck, there are six pockets for a reason, what kind of a player would I be if I didn't have a backup plan"
Famous:
"leave em' broke, leave em' happy" - Jersey Red
"it's like a nightmare isn't it" - you know who
"I can't teach you because I don't know what I'm doing" - Luther Clement "Wimpy" Lassiter
"I'm god" - New York Fats
(made that last one up)
Heard in the pool room
"That guy is missing like someone is looking for him!"
I loved that one!
Brian in VA
"That guy is missing like someone is looking for him!"
I loved that one!
Brian in VA
Another one I say...
That shot would have gone in on an 8 foot table! (When we are on a 9 footer.)
That shot would have gone in on an 8 foot table! (When we are on a 9 footer.)
This one is funny. From my buddy to his girlfriend, "I don't like you anymore." Just tonight, I'm playing double with my buddy's girlfriend and we keep on winning against my buddy's team.