Take it like a MAN.
- Thread starter lodini
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Uh, yeah, I would have told her to take it like a man. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but there is no reason for reaction like that. If it were me, I would have been in awe of the shot, and that guy would have heard nothing but "wow, that was awesome" from me.Flex said:
I feel that a lot can be said for both approaches to the loss. There are MANY occasions that people can lose matches and know they were never SUPPOSED to lose.... Thus attributing these losses to their own poor play is probably correct. But I agree with the overall jist of the thread, that if such a loss occurs, the attitude shown by the better player should be that of grace and respect to the person that just beat them.
lodini said:
Sweetie (how awful that sounds, right?) that young lady would not take kindly to your response. And if someone were to ask her why she broke down and cried (which I don't think most people with any sensitivity would do) she would probably say something like, "You just don't understand" or "You wouldn't get it if I told you" or " It's not fair." All those answers are fair responses from a girl who just got thrashed. At least those are the kind of things I got used to hearing from my sisters...
Flex
I guess some people really hate to lose. I know i don't like it. When I start giving games I seem to notice all the rolls for the other guy. I will complain about the luck and misses, but it doesn't stay long. I will be the first one making a joke about it. If I lose 9 nothing and give the guy every game, someone could talk to me about how bad I played etc... wouldn't bother me.
I know some people, the ones I have a problem with, that are a walking time bomb after they lose. You don't know what to say or do... Just move aside and hope they make it past before they blow.
I know some people, the ones I have a problem with, that are a walking time bomb after they lose. You don't know what to say or do... Just move aside and hope they make it past before they blow.
When I lose I almost always say the following:
To the victor: Great shooting.
To everybody else: She just played better than I did.
That's it.
But what I hate is when I lost and I tell the victor "great shooting" and they feel like they need to stand there and argue with me about how poorly they played or that they got lucky. Just say 'thank you' and go on your way. What's the big deal?
~rc
To the victor: Great shooting.
To everybody else: She just played better than I did.
That's it.
But what I hate is when I lost and I tell the victor "great shooting" and they feel like they need to stand there and argue with me about how poorly they played or that they got lucky. Just say 'thank you' and go on your way. What's the big deal?
~rc
lodini said:
Is this from something recent for you
I played a tournament Wed., in the finals we ended up playing for the whole thing one race to 7. It was actually a bit worse for me because I went undefeated and he would have had to beat me 2 sets to 5. But it was fun, and I got beat fair and square. We both played well, he got some quick runs 1-9 and 2-9 combos, but I also had a carom and a hung 9 he left me. Lost my part of the money, went away happy anyway with some thoughts about how to play tough matches different. I took a slight chance on a couple of banks I missed that cost me the games, so now I will just watch for that situation and think a bit more.
For me, the only time I get upset after a loss is if the player was bad but got very lucky the whole match. I don't mean things like me missing late in the rack for an easy out for him, I mean 9 on the break, missing all the time but crapping balls in, things like that.
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Flex said:
I too give compliments whether I win or lose. In fact, I played a match last night and played really well. The guy I played had a bad night and he said, "ugh, I played like crap." But it was the way he said it that made it so it was NOT offensive. He said it in a rather casual way and immediately backed it up with "man, you've really improved."
Now to me, I'm ok with that b/c he's giving me my credit.
Flex, you bring up an interesting point about the crying women. I never thought about it that way. That a tough call. I totally see where you are coming from. I admit I've cried twice, but they were both when I was really young, and I wasn't proud of myself, but I didn't do it in front of my opponent. I definitely don't think it's professional.
being frustrated is normal. getting to know the reasons why you lose or play so bad tells that you are taking pool seriously and not merely taking it for granted nor for mere fun. it is more like trying to psyche yourself out. the reasons why some people get upset is because of the fact that they can do better.
for the C and above players, it is hard to enjoy the game if you cant even make the simplest of all shots.
here is what I observed from the poolhalls. walk-in bangers laugh whenever they miss, scratch, foul balls. while the more experienced ones, bang their cues, curse, scratch their heads, look dismayed, makes all sorts of excuses, blame the equiptment, blame themselves, etc...etc... when they miss shots, lose control of CB, scratch, hooked, etc...etc...
for the C and above players, it is hard to enjoy the game if you cant even make the simplest of all shots.
here is what I observed from the poolhalls. walk-in bangers laugh whenever they miss, scratch, foul balls. while the more experienced ones, bang their cues, curse, scratch their heads, look dismayed, makes all sorts of excuses, blame the equiptment, blame themselves, etc...etc... when they miss shots, lose control of CB, scratch, hooked, etc...etc...
I actually have a lot of respect for somebody who may moan after a loss. Maybe it's just me, but there's nothing admirable about gushing about how well your opponent played and how he was flawless and he was brilliant and he deserved to win blah blah blah. Not trying to be controversial here just honest. I respect someone who has a burning desire to win and if they play below par, is vocal about it and says 'yes my opponent played ok but the main thing was that i played very poor and that's why i lost'.
I think that's reasonable enough. too much wishy washy praising your opponent and faffing about trying to be a 'gentleman's game'. If somebody is getting all the rolls and luck then there's nothing wrong with a player having a moan about it.
what i'm getting at is passion. passion for the game, and a passion to compete. mindless anger and rage is a different thing like what jason mentioned in the above post - i don't respect that. no reason to.
I think that's reasonable enough. too much wishy washy praising your opponent and faffing about trying to be a 'gentleman's game'. If somebody is getting all the rolls and luck then there's nothing wrong with a player having a moan about it.
what i'm getting at is passion. passion for the game, and a passion to compete. mindless anger and rage is a different thing like what jason mentioned in the above post - i don't respect that. no reason to.
Flex said:
A bit off topic, but this is exactly why they need to shelve the jump cues. Danny D. always says it's a crap tool to use. You make a mistake, get some skill in kicking or jump with your own cue to get out of it. If I play a nice hook, why take a toy that a 10yr old can jump a full ball with and make an easy hit?
Well, my dear, I guess I have a better handle on my emotions... and know how to give credit where it's due. I don't mind losing to someone who played well and potentially showed me and thing or two. In fact, I enjoy that sort of thing. That's cause I appreciate the game, and it's not all about ME.Flex said:
I have to agree. People do make excuses for themselves. I do that often myself... but I do correct my errors during practice. I always say to give urself good amunition, even IF it means lying to urself, as long as in the near future that u know where the fault really lies, is something that u do discover and that u do something to correct it.ne14tennis said:
GG11 said:
I agree with that totally. I really try to avoid saying that, and just ignore anyone that start on it with me. One guy I know can't loose or even miss a shot without telling 3 people as to why and how good he is normally. He is also pretty creative at not picking games he may loose.
So, you think I don't win then? That's harsh.uwate said:
Let me clarify what I am saying... I understand being hungry to win, and being upset when you lose. But to me, the most professional and mature players will do their whining in private. Not make feeble attempts at bringing their opponent down by taking credit away from their win. It's just poor sportsmanship.
I really don't care if someone cries after a match or not. Personally, I know this is sick, but..... I get WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY more satisfaction beating someone to the point of them crying, throwing a fit, melting down, breaking their cue, going-off, etc.... than someone shaking my hand politely. I love the hate.
As the Emperor said in Star Wars.... "I can feel your anger. Hate gives you focus, it makes you stronger."
So I say let the hate flow, brother.
That being said.... when I lose, I ALWAYS shake their hands and say THEY played well. Even if they didn't.
As the Emperor said in Star Wars.... "I can feel your anger. Hate gives you focus, it makes you stronger."
So I say let the hate flow, brother.
That being said.... when I lose, I ALWAYS shake their hands and say THEY played well. Even if they didn't.
