This is a scene from the movie script, “Roxanne’s Game,” that was loosely based on the hustling adventures of Barbara and Jack Cooney and Freddy the Beard. This scene pretty much happened just like this in real life when Freddy the Beard was going to a bar spot with Barbara and Jack Moose Moussa, aka The Filthy Beast, in his abomination of a car that was known throughout LA as the Beastmobile. Freddy is Freddy, Roxanne is really Barbary Cooney, Ansel is the Filthy Beast, Jesse is Jimmy Reid, and the Beastmobile is of course itself.
The three stand staring at a dilapidated car.
FREDDY
The Beastmobile!
ROXANNE
The what?
FREDDY
The Beastmobile. Jesse must be pissed
ROXANNE
Why is it called the Beastmobile?
Ansel walks over and gets into front seat.
ANSEL
Are you gonna get in or just stand there? I’m on a schedule.
Freddy puts his arm around Roxanne.
ANSEL
… and the broad gets in the back.
Ansel smiles wickedly, as he pushes forward the passenger seat for her to get in. It’s not a seat at all. The seat has been removed. It’s more like a wooden platform. Flies
are everywhere.
Wherever she puts her hand down she lifts it to reveal goo on
it — gum or a melted chocolate bar.
There is ladies underwear, beer bottles, fast food
containers, Spam, tennis shoes, etc. Ansel laughs.
ROXANNE
(holding her nose)
The Beastmobile!
Freddy hands her some newspaper to put down. Roxanne has to
sit on her haunches.
INT. BEASTMOBILE (MOVING) – NIGHT
INSERT – SIGN ON A LONELY DIRT ROAD: “ATLANTA 45 MILES”
BACK TO SCENE
A live jumping rock song blares out of the radio. Freddy and Roxanne sing along. When Ansel chimes in, all three start to laugh.
Freddy pops some amphetamines and offers the pills to the
Beast and Roxanne. Only the Beast accepts.
EXT. THE HIGHWAY – NIGHT
Lights from underpasses occasionally shine on the Beastmobile
as they drive.
STATE TROOPER PATROL CAR HIDING IN UNDERPASS
Two troopers drinking coffee, one old, one young.
INSIDE PATROL CAR (PARKED)
OLDER TROOPER
Some more of those Hippie freaks looks like… Bringing in drugs
probably. — Pull ‘em over, let’s check ‘em out.
Patrol Car lights flash up suddenly.
ANSEL
Freddy! Lose them pills!
Freddy throws them into the back seat behind Roxanne. One
sticks in her hair but she doesn’t know it.
They pull over.
OLDER TROOPER
(shines light into car) How y’all doing?
FREDDY
Fine, officer.
Older Trooper shines the light in Roxanne’s face.
OLDER TROOPER
What about you, young lady, everything okay here?
ROXANNE
Yes, officer.
OLDER TROOPER
(to Freddy)
You — your eyes are funny. Get out. I’m tired of you people and your drug shit…
Freddy gets out. Roxanne and Ansel follow.
OLDER TROOPER
(to young trooper)
You — search the back. I saw him throw something back there.
OLDER TROOPER
(to Freddy)
What kind of stuff you been doing?
Older trooper searches Freddy.
OLDER TROOPER
You got any heroin? (Pronounced hare-oine, as in oink) or speedy-balls?
FREDDY
Nothing, officer.
OLDER TROOPER
(to younger trooper)
I told you to check that backseat. I saw this one throw something –
probably pills. Find those pills, boy.
YOUNGER TROOPER
Yes, sir!
Roxanne leans over the car to try to seduce the younger
trooper, but he is closing his eyes as he sticks his hand
into the backseat.
Ansel elbows Roxanne, then eyes upward, indicating to touch
her hair. She does so, and removes the pill that is stuck in
it and throws it behind her into the woods.
Younger trooper shines flashlight on the backseat. He winces
as he sticks his hand down feeling for pills. He lifts his
arm up to find a dead mouse on his sleeve.
YOUNGER TROOPER
Ahhh!
OLDER TROOPER
What the? I told you to find those pills, boy.
YOUNGER TROOPER
I know, sir.
He keeps searching.
YOUNGER TROOPER
(not very convincingly,)
No pills.
Older trooper rolls up his sleeves.
OLDER TROOPER
I’ll find them myself.
Older trooper shines his flashlight in the back, starts to put his hand in, and stops before he touches a pile of molding garbage.
OLDER TROOPER
Okay kid, no pills.
Beard
This is just one of the stories that will appear in my new book, The Encyclopedia of Pool Hustlers.
The three stand staring at a dilapidated car.
FREDDY
The Beastmobile!
ROXANNE
The what?
FREDDY
The Beastmobile. Jesse must be pissed
ROXANNE
Why is it called the Beastmobile?
Ansel walks over and gets into front seat.
ANSEL
Are you gonna get in or just stand there? I’m on a schedule.
Freddy puts his arm around Roxanne.
ANSEL
… and the broad gets in the back.
Ansel smiles wickedly, as he pushes forward the passenger seat for her to get in. It’s not a seat at all. The seat has been removed. It’s more like a wooden platform. Flies
are everywhere.
Wherever she puts her hand down she lifts it to reveal goo on
it — gum or a melted chocolate bar.
There is ladies underwear, beer bottles, fast food
containers, Spam, tennis shoes, etc. Ansel laughs.
ROXANNE
(holding her nose)
The Beastmobile!
Freddy hands her some newspaper to put down. Roxanne has to
sit on her haunches.
INT. BEASTMOBILE (MOVING) – NIGHT
INSERT – SIGN ON A LONELY DIRT ROAD: “ATLANTA 45 MILES”
BACK TO SCENE
A live jumping rock song blares out of the radio. Freddy and Roxanne sing along. When Ansel chimes in, all three start to laugh.
Freddy pops some amphetamines and offers the pills to the
Beast and Roxanne. Only the Beast accepts.
EXT. THE HIGHWAY – NIGHT
Lights from underpasses occasionally shine on the Beastmobile
as they drive.
STATE TROOPER PATROL CAR HIDING IN UNDERPASS
Two troopers drinking coffee, one old, one young.
INSIDE PATROL CAR (PARKED)
OLDER TROOPER
Some more of those Hippie freaks looks like… Bringing in drugs
probably. — Pull ‘em over, let’s check ‘em out.
Patrol Car lights flash up suddenly.
ANSEL
Freddy! Lose them pills!
Freddy throws them into the back seat behind Roxanne. One
sticks in her hair but she doesn’t know it.
They pull over.
OLDER TROOPER
(shines light into car) How y’all doing?
FREDDY
Fine, officer.
Older Trooper shines the light in Roxanne’s face.
OLDER TROOPER
What about you, young lady, everything okay here?
ROXANNE
Yes, officer.
OLDER TROOPER
(to Freddy)
You — your eyes are funny. Get out. I’m tired of you people and your drug shit…
Freddy gets out. Roxanne and Ansel follow.
OLDER TROOPER
(to young trooper)
You — search the back. I saw him throw something back there.
OLDER TROOPER
(to Freddy)
What kind of stuff you been doing?
Older trooper searches Freddy.
OLDER TROOPER
You got any heroin? (Pronounced hare-oine, as in oink) or speedy-balls?
FREDDY
Nothing, officer.
OLDER TROOPER
(to younger trooper)
I told you to check that backseat. I saw this one throw something –
probably pills. Find those pills, boy.
YOUNGER TROOPER
Yes, sir!
Roxanne leans over the car to try to seduce the younger
trooper, but he is closing his eyes as he sticks his hand
into the backseat.
Ansel elbows Roxanne, then eyes upward, indicating to touch
her hair. She does so, and removes the pill that is stuck in
it and throws it behind her into the woods.
Younger trooper shines flashlight on the backseat. He winces
as he sticks his hand down feeling for pills. He lifts his
arm up to find a dead mouse on his sleeve.
YOUNGER TROOPER
Ahhh!
OLDER TROOPER
What the? I told you to find those pills, boy.
YOUNGER TROOPER
I know, sir.
He keeps searching.
YOUNGER TROOPER
(not very convincingly,)
No pills.
Older trooper rolls up his sleeves.
OLDER TROOPER
I’ll find them myself.
Older trooper shines his flashlight in the back, starts to put his hand in, and stops before he touches a pile of molding garbage.
OLDER TROOPER
Okay kid, no pills.
Beard
This is just one of the stories that will appear in my new book, The Encyclopedia of Pool Hustlers.
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