I'll bite, even tho' I am no pro by any stretch...LoL.
My current playing cue is a custom with the following specs:
Bocote and birdseye
Butt weight: 15.3 ounces
Shaft weight: 3.71 ounces
Ballance point: 18.5" from butt
Shaft dia.: 13mm
Ferrule: 1/2" Linen based
Tip: special
Pin: 3/8-11 stainless
I think that women, like men, tend to all start out with heavier weight cues, simply because they help to straighten out one's stroke. I think that women preferring heavier cues is a myth. My best friend, and womens' league partner plays with an 18oz cue, and is very good. I have another gal on my team who prefers a 20oz cue, who is also a very good player. Another also prefers to play with an 18oz cue...and all the rest of us gals on the team play in the 19oz range.
Just from that small demographic, you can see that just like men players, women players are all over the map as well, when it comes to preferred playing weight.
As a side note: My ol' man prefers to play with a cue that weighs in @ 19.5oz, with a 5/16x14 SS joint and hard single layered tip (Triangle)...while my cue's playing weight is 19.01oz, with a 3/8-11 FF joint and 'special' layered tip.
I am of the belief that, just like men; once a woman player hits a certain level of play, it is more likely the balance point that becomes more important than the actual weight of a cue. A well crafted and balanced cue can make a heavier cue play much lighter. I have had 19oz cues feel like an 18oz, as well as like a 20oz....so I think that the balance point is likely more critical than the cue's actual weight.
Lisa