What would you do?

Lol

I think it is funny you said she does not deserve anyone who would post their personal problems in a forum, however she posted our personal problems in front of a group of our friends. To me that is just as bad or worse. At least you people on here do not know us. Also I have not even told you all what we were fighting about. Just that our friends kicked me off the team until we resolved our differences. So I have not aired our problems out in the room. I just aired my problem with our friends our in the the room.

Oh well I guess I will figure out something.
 
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Snapshot9 said:
do you like more - Pool or Sex? (yeah, me neither). Well, which do you need more right now? .... lol

You never did state what the issue was that you and your wife disagreed on?
Was it because you criticized her playing?

Unless you like doing your own laundry, cooking your own meals, constantly hearing cupboard doors slammed, and not getting any p****, you better compromise in some fashion ............ or it will ruin your Pool game .... lol
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Well to tell you the truth I do my own laundry, I cook about 50 % of the time, and I bring home most of the income. So I guess it doesn't really matter does it? LOL

I never criticized her playing. That isn't what the fight was about, and I don't care to get into that here because I don't think that matters anyway.

The fight was between her and I, and didn't have anything to do with the pool team. I guess that is why I got so mad they were playing parent and kicked me off the team. Like someone else said, they should have minded there own business. They shouldn't have hurt the team by kicking me off. Now I am sure the rest of the team feels the reason that I wasn't there is cause I argued with the captain or something. Truth is I would have shown up and played, and kept my mouth shut, but they didn't give me that chance.

OH Well, right!
 
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txplshrk said:
Well to tell you the truth I do my own laundry, I cook about 50 % of the time, and I bring home most of the income. So I guess it doesn't really matter does it? LOL

I never criticized her playing. That isn't what the fight was about, and I don't care to get into that here because I don't think that matters anyway.

The fight was between her and I, and didn't have anything to do with the pool team. I guess that is why I got so mad they were playing parent and kicked me off the team. Like someone else said, they should have minded there own business. They shouldn't have hurt the team by kicking me off. Now I am sure the rest of the team feels the reason that I wasn't there is cause I argued with the captain or something. Truth is I would have shown up and played, and kept my mouth shut, but they didn't give me that chance.

OH Well, right!
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Well, they screwed themselves, cause if you do not play, they will have to Forefit one match, and that can cost them the win that night.
What kind of a team Captain would make a decision like that.
It is not in the best interest of the team.:)

Is the team Captain hitting on your Wife?:confused:

People will do whatever they can to break a couple up, if they have an interest in doing so.:mad:
 
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Let the Pool stuff be Pool stuff, and Home stuff be Home stuff. If you guy's aren't beating the crap out of eachother at home why woud you do it in public.

So just accordingly on league night, and workout the other differences at home. It's none of anyone elses business.

Black Cat :cool:
 
sounds like your team screwed up twice, one when they got involved at all, and 2 when they basically sided with your wife by letting her play and tellin you stay home

your wife screwed up by going to play instead of taking your side and either saying "we both play or both of us will sit out"

that said, you either suck it up and let it go or you make a deal out of it and probably end up off the team. Its nice to make a point but probably you will be hurting yourself more than them due to the mere fact that you love playing pool. I would probably go back and play......then after several weeks passed i might would speak with who was responsible and tell them you thought they mishandled the situation, both you and your wife should have been off the team for that one night or both of you should have played, that they took her side by allowing her back and you not. That way if they interfere again maybe they will at least handle it fairly. End of the season yall all might be buddies again and no problems, if not you and wife start ur own team.
 
IMO you should have a hobby, even a same hobby as your wife, without your wife. When people have a mind of really going for victory that easily can cause problems inside family if you are doing it partly together and partly not. So go for another team to play always against your wife and then there's a balance; you both want to win but it always stays the same no matter the day. Again i'm repeating myself: keep it simple!
 
It sounds to me like they are your wifes friends more so than yours. This incident has changed the dynamic and things will never be the same. Were it me I'd stay off the team for the rest of the session and play the tourney. Next session get on a different team, and bring your wife with you when you go.
It's hard enough to make a marriage work without well intentioned "friends" sticking their noses in...

McCue Banger McCue
 
Seems to me you may have overlooked another potential problem. By quitting the team (if that's what you're going to do) you're not only snubbing the other members of the team, your wife is a member of that team and you might want to find out what she thinks if you quit.

Just a thought.

oh yeah and good luck.
 
txplshrk said:
Well on Tuesday I get an e mail from the captain of the bar league that says she doesn't want any drama on the league so I can't play until me and the wife get things straightened out later.

So I ask her if my wife is allowed to play, and she said yes, they just didn't want me to show up and cause drama.
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When they emailed you and asked you to sit out a match, is it possible that when you replied asking if your wife could play that your question may have been interpreted as you agreeing to sit out but still wanting your wife to play? Were you doing this all through Email?

I've had some bad experiences with Email. Some people can read and write as well as you and I can, and some people can't. Poorly written things get taken out of context.
 
email

Yes it was done in email, and I just asked them if I was the only one being asked not to show up.

They sent the reply that I was the one not being asked to show up cause they didn't want any drama. I have never started any drama in public in my whole entire life. If anything they should have asked her not to play if they didn't want drama.

I think someone said it best in here that they took her side, and that women stick up for women in those situations. I just think it was handled poorly and that we both should have been asked not to play.

I really don't know what I am going to do tonight, but I will keep everyone posted.

Again, thank you everyone for your support and your comments. I think it is great that everyone in here looks out for one another and only wants to give sound advice to everyone.

Thanks everyone, both guys and gals!!!!! LOL
 
txplshrk said:
Hey here is a perplexing question.

If you and your wife played on two leagues together.
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I don't have good advice. I have a standing rule: no couples added on a team. If a team asks me to be on their team, and they have a couple on their, I tell them straight out my feelings about couples on a team.

Fred
 
well if you don't like the fights, and such. You are going to just have to learn that she is always right, its what i do LOL. Just agree, and the fight is over, she is happy and i still get to do what i love Play Pool.
 
Well, I would say it's very likely your wife 'vented' about the argument....we women do tend to 'talk' about our relationships, whereas, as a rule, men do not.

With that being said......it should have had absolutely no bearing whatsoever on your team memebership, save for a restraining/no contact order...which is not the case here.
Generally, the rule of thumb for team membership dismissal is: poor sportsmanlike conduct, poor attendance...which still does not appear to be the case.

I captained a Jack and Jill team one year where my husband and myself were partners, as well as another couple. We had to play in a location where my husband found out that the woman who had owned the bar was the same woman who had been a visiting nurse for his grandfather, and apparently she had 'ripped' most all of her elderly clients off, and a year later had purchased this establishment. Well, he got twisted all sideways and became increasing obnoxious and beligerant. I finally, after much embarassment and possible banning from the establishment, turned to my husband and told him that if he did not cease and desist immediately, he was off the team and I would find another partner to shoot with!! It got his attention, and he did stop, but threw all his games afterwards, and we got into quite the row later at home.

Last year, we both played on the same 9 Ball league team together, but I opted to act as a co-captain instead of captain, as I was already captaining a womens league team. Now the husband and I fight at home all the time...but we both leave it at home, and neither of us have ever been asked to leave a team. I had every right in the above situation, as it was poor sportsmanslike conduct....but with our rows at home, as long as it doesn't come to the league play, there is no grounds for dismissal.

Bottom line is, until there was an indication that there was going to be a problem DURING league play, the captain had no right to prevent your playing. BTW...I have sent home a player from my womens league team in the past for being too drunk to play...but I did not kick her off the team.

No, dirty laundry should not be aired in public, but it does happen...all the time, on both sides. And, if it were me....after being summarily dismissed for something that had no bearing on the league or my team.....I would NOT return. I would try and find another team, or...like you did, make it a tournament night until next session.

Lisa
 
Thanks

Thanks Lisa, that is exactly what I was feeling and thinking.

I don't think you should kick someone off your team for reasons other that team related reasons. I mean I didn't start anything in any bar, and I didn't hurt the teams play in anyway. In fact they suffered without me. So to me that is a piss poor decision by the captain. Besides they didn't need to interfer with me and the wife. If we needed space we could have certainly handled that on our own.

Anyway, thanks again Lisa that is good advise.
 
Last Night

Well I had different opinions given to me on two different forums. Most people say that I should just walk away from the team and not play on it anymore. Which to tell you the truth is what I wanted to do.

However, I have to think about one thing. My wife likes this league, cause it is more social than our Thur. night league. Thursday night league is more cut throat, and more people don't talk simply because they are trying to consentrate on the matches. Also I had to think about how that looked sportsmanship wise. If I ran away it would be like giving in to them, and also hurting the team. I mean all I want to do is play pool, so why shouldn't I play?

So my wife asked me if I would go play last night. I then double checked with her on what was said. "Do they want me to come play, or they just said it was ok cause you want me back?"

She said they wanted me to come play. So I told her I would go play for her, not for them, but for her. She said thank you, and was happy we were going.

When everyone saw me you could cut the tension in the air with a knife.
I just acted like nothing had ever happened and went and shook everyone's hands and told them hi. That helped a bit, but I think they were wondering why I acted like nothing happened.

In this league there are 9 single matches and 9 doubles matches. My wife and I got put together on doubles (which is fine cause we kick ass on doubles) but her and I only got to play three games a piece. Where as some of the other players got to play like 6 games.

I didn't say anything cause it isn't my team, and if they want to punish the team, then so be it.

In fact the last doubles game came down to whether we win or loose for the night. I felt sure with the way I shoot they would have chose me as one of the players. However they chose this younger guy on our team that always struggles.

Well we lost, and trust me had I been up there we wouldn't have. I was dead on my game by that time last night.

Next, I know that everyone will ask how I did so here is the run down.

First singles game I got up there and broke, put a solid in on the break, and in this league I had to be solids. Oh did they look like crap. So I shot in two of them, and then played safe. I had no other choice. The other guy walked up and ran the table. (Dang, this boy was good!!!)

So I shook it off, there was nothing I could do about it. I was shooting well, but as Paul Newman says "The balls roll funny for everyone kid."

The next game was me and the wife at doubles. So she told me to break as I have a better break. (She was hoping I would sink the 8 again tonight.)

So I got up and broke and we got a good spred but nothing went in.

The other team shot two balls in. Then my wife shot in like 4. Then the guy I played the first game gets up there and starts running the table. Well until the 8 got knocked in prematurely. LOL

So I didn't get to shoot on that one. (Nothing I could do again.)

Last game of doubles I get to play, and me and the wife are playing again. She racked, they broke and then sunk one after the break. I finally get to shoot cause my wife told me to go first. So I get up there and sink 5 balls. I am on fire it seems, until I miss a cross bank that was a difficult shot. Then low and behold the guy I have played for the last two games gets up and runs out again. So my wife didn't get to shoot this game. (Nothing we could do, I mean the guy was dang good! I have to give the guy props for that.)

Anyway, I think I had to play him every time cause they knew he was the best player, so naturally you put your best player against him. What I couldn't understand is on the last match of the night why they wouldn't have put their best two players up there when the whole night was on the line. They didn't and of course we lost. I am not the captain so I am not going to worry about it, but I could tell that because of the tension my wife and I only got to play the minimum amount of games last night.

I am happy, and frustrated all in the same sentence. I would have loved to play more games, but at least they treated me and the wife equally last night. And at least I got to play this week. Like I said, I didn't say anything about the previous week. I just went in there and played my game. Which is what I am going to do for the whole season. I think I owe the team that, cause I said I would play. At least I think that is the sportsman thing to do. It doesn't mean when the season is over I can't bail out on them though.

I am feeling good knowing that I went in there and acted like nothing happened and just played my game though, cause that is the only reason I ever joined this team. To play my freakin game! That is all I ever want to do on leagues. So at least I did that, even though it was a little tense in there.
 
Cornerman said:
I don't have good advice. I have a standing rule: no couples added on a team. If a team asks me to be on their team, and they have a couple on their, I tell them straight out my feelings about couples on a team.

Fred
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Wise words to live by.
 
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