When Playing Family & Friends.........

[DrCue'sProtege]

this ever happen to anybody?

my brother and his 22 year old son called sunday night, and said they wanted to come over and play some. first time they have ever seen my GCIV table. we basically played 9-Ball, and i just couldnt get too enthused about playing since it was just a BS session along with some pool playing and talking about some family matters.

as a result i didnt put much effort into the game, missed a few shots, miscued, didnt really care that much, etc, etc. but now i sort of feel bad. looking back on it i see where i had a chance to shine, to show them my skill level, abilities, but because of my lackadaisical attitude i didnt show anything.

almost makes me think i should have bore down, and showed them. but yet, like i said, it was more or less just a BS session and at the time i just blew it off as insignificant. i almost felt like if i would have treated it as a life or death match that would have ruined their enjoyment

anybody ever feel that way?

DCP

 

[djkx1]

It's tough to be serious all the time when playing certain people. I think it is good to just have fun and play, however I sometimes feel like it is bad for my game to play without focus. I worry more about developing bad habits, then about whether I got to show them my skill or not.

 

[tigerallenyim]

Yeah, it has happened to me. Thing is, is that if im going to meet people to play pool, i'll play to win; even if it's just a friendly match. If we r meeting to do other things like drink, biz/family matter, then that's something different. When ur mind is focusing on other matters, it's a bit challenging to have ur full attention.

As far as beating them lights-out. That's ok too. U can't control their feelings anyhow. But when u can do is warn them ahead of time.

Usually, I tell my friends & family where my head is at before anything transpires...

 

[VIProfessor]

this ever happen to anybody?

my brother and his 22 year old son called sunday night, and said they wanted to come over and play some. first time they have ever seen my GCIV table. we basically played 9-Ball, and i just couldnt get too enthused about playing since it was just a BS session along with some pool playing and talking about some family matters.

as a result i didnt put much effort into the game, missed a few shots, miscued, didnt really care that much, etc, etc. but now i sort of feel bad. looking back on it i see where i had a chance to shine, to show them my skill level, abilities, but because of my lackadaisical attitude i didnt show anything.

almost makes me think i should have bore down, and showed them. but yet, like i said, it was more or less just a BS session and at the time i just blew it off as insignificant. i almost felt like if i would have treated it as a life or death match that would have ruined their enjoyment

anybody ever feel that way?

DCP

I used to take it easy when just playing with family and friends, but I had an experience that changed my outlook. I have a younger first cousin (who's also my godson) who likes the game and maybe plays at the C- level, and we were hitting some balls one night. I wasn't much into the game, and was giving him a lot of opportunities while just talking and enjoying the evening.

At one point, I tried to point out a better pattern to him and he responded, "I'll play how I want. You're supposed to be the V.I. Champion and I don't see you doing sh__ on the table. I'm not even sure you can beat me!" Of course, you realize, that means war. I immediately told him that if he thought he could beat me, then surely he wouldn't mind if we played some straight pool to 100, and that I'd play him 20 no-count for fifty. Don't ask me what happened, but the insult must have given me focus. I got out in two innings, and while we have played pool and enjoyed ourselves many times since, he has never again talked out the side of his neck, and I have never again let up on a single opponent.

In short, when you're talking and fooling around, talk and fool around; and when you're playing pool, play pool! Give your lesser skilled friends and family an opportunity to watch the game played properly, and you may help them to gain a new respect and appreciation for our wonderful sport.

Edit: After reading CaptainJR's post, I am reminded to come clean with this admission--none of the above applies to pretty women who obviously don't play. After showing a little stuff, I have been known to shoot the rest of the game with my left hand or some other such.

 

[CaptainJR]

I do it all the time. Not just with friends and family. Any time it is obvious to me that the player is several levels below me, and it is just a friendly game, I lay down. The result can vary from a loss to having to really bare down at the end of the game. This is not a good thing. Especially since keeping my concentration level up is one of my biggest problems when I am playing a tournament or some other kind of competition. I need to stop this and practice keeping my concentration level up regardless of who I'm playing. "Unless she is very pretty and starts looking disappointed that she isn't going to get another shot."

 

[deadstroke7]

I find this is a problem when playing socially with social players. Before long, either no one wants to play or the game changes to darts or whatever. Usually this is at a larger group gathering and when we start playing pool, I usually just defer, and chat around the table. I have also played 'opposite handed' just to make things a bit sportier when cornered into a game.

Bottom line is people who are playing for a social outing, are usually more interested in the social part than the pool and loose interest pretty quickly when they don't get to play.

Everyone used to play back yard football, but if Lawerence Taylor showed up in full pads, I do believe that many people would lose interest. FWIW

 

[deadstroke7]

Although on another note.... when playing family, it's no holds barred. But then, they were the ones that got me into this game in the first place, so when I get a chance to win, it makes my effort that much more worth it.

 

[Maniac]

Everyone used to play back yard football, but if Lawerence Taylor showed up in full pads, I do believe that many people would lose interest.

....unless they needed a little toot for the 'ol nose, huh?

Maniac

 

[Maniac]

It's tough to be serious all the time when playing certain people. I think it is good to just have fun and play, however I sometimes feel like it is bad for my game to play without focus. I worry more about developing bad habits, then about whether I got to show them my skill or not.

IMO, the practice table can be the worst place for developing bad habits if you're not careful, especially if you are practicing alone. I tend to get too nonchalant when I'm home playing the ghost or just banging balls. Then I seem to carry these bad habits with me to league night. So, unless I'm playing a mere child or a lady with no skills whatsoever, I do my best whenever I'm playing someone, even if it's just for fun. Now, when my 22 year-old son comes over and starts talking smack about how bad he's gonna whip the 'ol man tonight, then the gloves come off and I really bare down.

Maniac

 

[Banger]

Bottom line is people who are playing for a social outing, are usually more interested in the social part than the pool and loose interest pretty quickly when they don't get to play.

Exactly! And as much as I like to win, I enjoy the company of my friends even more. I like having friends over for some friendly pool, and BS. I don't want to mess that up by being too serious. So if it's a social game, I keep it social and don't worry about the outcome. There are plenty of other times for me to be serious about winning. Plus, I think having the ability to "change gears" is an asset that is very beneficial in life.

 

[PKM]

Just don't choose the easiest shot at any particular time. Practice some banks, hard cut shots, tough positions, etc.

 

[Maniac]

Just don't choose the easiest shot at any particular time. Practice some banks, hard cut shots, tough positions, etc.

I like this advice. It is what I do when I shoot (for fun) against players with signifigantly less skill than I have (and, that's not very many people ). Whenever my wife and I shoot, I bank a LOT of my shots and practice combination shots (which I absolutely suck at). I actually make so many of my bank shots that my wife calls me a "show-off".

Maniac

 

[ShootingArts]

I agree

Just don't choose the easiest shot at any particular time. Practice some banks, hard cut shots, tough positions, etc.

I did that, deliberately playing tough shape, and even as poorly as I play now I routinely stack the rack in the breaker's favor when playing somebody without money involved. Even people that should beat me now rarely realize I have a wee bit held back and they won't get that sweet rack when we play a serious game.

Sometimes I gave a huge and usually not too blatant to onlookers spot such as shooting banks and combinations against someone playing plain eightball when shooting socially especially if the person knew my real game, sometimes I just coasted.

As others have mentioned, purely foolish to embarrass a pretty girl you are shooting with. I saw a guy that obviously knew the game being real nitty with a knock-out of a girl he was with on the next table a few weeks ago. That's when you know the guy is young and dumb!

Hu

 

[Cuebacca]

Maybe next time in this situation you can play 8-ball, and go all offense, never playing safe on them. (Although, you can still point out good simple safties for them to shoot against you when they come up.) I find that this evens it up a little, while still creating an offensive challenge for me.

Some of my more unlikely run-outs have occurred in social 8-ball, especially when the guest was the one who broke. Often, I'll paint myself into a corner by running most of the balls and then having some crazy shots left towards the end of the rack. If I make that shot, its fun for them to see that shot. If I miss, its fun for them because they have a bunch of open balls left to shoot at.

 

[zcat27]

Playing with a couple of friends and relatives, I just took it to them. Next time they came over, they didn't want to play. Especially my father in law. He was over yesterday and I came up with a good solution for me. I played him left handed. I was then able to concentrate on every shot and of course not run over him. He won 2 out of 5 or so games. He looked at me and said "what happened? you use to play pretty good!" You just can't win for losing in those situations.

 

[TheConArtist]

It's tough to be serious all the time when playing certain people. I think it is good to just have fun and play, however I sometimes feel like it is bad for my game to play without focus. I worry more about developing bad habits, then about whether I got to show them my skill or not.

This is so true for me. I always have the thought of playing my best, and trying to be consistent with my game. It doesn't matter who i am playing, my GF, a five year old kid etc... As if i just mess around time to time with family and friends then i might develope bad habits, and get into a slump. So its always business for me, when i am at the table.

 

[acedotcom]

You should have DESTROYED them.

I grew up with an uncle who was only a couple years older than me. Though I gambled with everyone else, when I played him we didn't play for anything and I didn't care much about winning or losing.

Now, 40-some years later, he has no memory of me ever playing as well as he did and, according to him, I was always a bum.

When playing family, remember the event might become part of your family's lore. If you want generations to come to remember you as a pool player, BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF THEM.

 

[JLW]

Just don't choose the easiest shot at any particular time. Practice some banks, hard cut shots, tough positions, etc.

That's what I will do. I'll try to take shots that I might not normally take in a game. That way, I can build up my confidence for "real" matches. I try not to play "seriously" against family and friends who don't have much pool playing experience. But often it's a no win situation. You don't want to look like a jerk and steamroll everyone, but God forbid you lose. You're supposed to be the "pool player" in the family.

 

[Shortside K]

this ever happen to anybody?

my brother and his 22 year old son called sunday night, and said they wanted to come over and play some. first time they have ever seen my GCIV table. we basically played 9-Ball, and i just couldnt get too enthused about playing since it was just a BS session along with some pool playing and talking about some family matters.

as a result i didnt put much effort into the game, missed a few shots, miscued, didnt really care that much, etc, etc. but now i sort of feel bad. looking back on it i see where i had a chance to shine, to show them my skill level, abilities, but because of my lackadaisical attitude i didnt show anything.

almost makes me think i should have bore down, and showed them. but yet, like i said, it was more or less just a BS session and at the time i just blew it off as insignificant. i almost felt like if i would have treated it as a life or death match that would have ruined their enjoyment

anybody ever feel that way?

DCP

Who cares? If you think about it, NO ONE really cares about how well you do or don't play except YOU! Why care if your relatives (non-players) beat you the odd game. Why do you have to "show them"? Your statements lead me to believe that they are not "players" and thus are probably lost on the finer points of the game. Remember... it is just a "game" and until you rely on only your pool skills to make a living don't get too wrapped up in what other people think about your game. That you can even consider referring to a pool game as "life or death" is ludicrous.

 

[ez2h8]

Exactly! And as much as I like to win, I enjoy the company of my friends even more. I like having friends over for some friendly pool, and BS. I don't want to mess that up by being too serious. So if it's a social game, I keep it social and don't worry about the outcome. There are plenty of other times for me to be serious about winning. Plus, I think having the ability to "change gears" is an asset that is very beneficial in life.

I like the above response, I like the one about taking harder shots or outs. I also appreciate the one about "Nobody Cares". Lots of great advice I think.

I ended up playing an uncle some barbox pool this weekend. We haven't seen each other in 4 years and last time he beat me but this time I beat him in a relaxed fashion. The reason I like the idea of "switching gears" is because you don't want to chase people away but never make the game so boring that they are not having fun. If I am playing someone I know I can beat lights out, I will play a step ahead of them without them knowing, but never top notch unless they tick me off. Besides, you never know "who else" is watching in the background that may turn into a money game or the opportunity for you to show the skills to your friends and family, but not at their expense.

Another example.
I was at a company outing this summer at a sports bar and a few of the guys from a different department were talking about how well they played 8ball. The people in my department got me in the game and actually sat around to watch me beat up on the other department. The people in my department comprised of about 10 or so people mostly women (some guys) between 30-60 years old who knew I played and enjoyed watching me play the game. They know zip about the game, but love seeing the game played well. I didn't let them down but didn't play like a champ, just enough to win and put some bad memories in the other department. End result, I was asked to more pool outings by the other department as they want another shot at me and my department bought me drinks for the rest of the night for playing "so well".

Again, lil does anyone really know.....
ez