Good grief, it has nothing to do with a woman's looks! You are having 'issues' for the same reason that I do not like to play women....you do not assign them the same amount of respect/importance and you would a male opponent. And I am a woman!!! As a rule, I generally dislike playing other women in pool, much preferring to playing male opponents. I bring my top game against most male opponents....whereas, save for one or two, I do not bring my top game against female opponents. Why? Most male opponents play a faster paced game, and tend to make me work harder...which I love...thrive on it! Most women players...on a local level....play much slower, and more tentatively than their male counterparts. Also, as most men will attest to, women are the 'great unknown'.....we're difficult to read...makes us tougher to figure out.
I have gotten better at this...and, at the level I am playing now, the women I do play...there are not too many of us that frequent local shoots weekly...are of the caliber of many of the male opponents I often play...and since we are aware of each other, our sets tend to become 'battle royales'....Lol.
I am very relaxed when playing men...not so much the case when playing other women, although, that too, has gotten better.
Basically it's the same reason why many of us can make a difficult shot, and still miss the easy shot. We take the easy shot for granted, thereby fubar'ing it. The trick is to find a 'cadence' to your game. Meaning, spend equal time on ALL your shots...develop a rhythm. Then it will not matter what gender your opponent is...because you are focused on staying in rhythm and on point in your pattern...you will not have time to notice who or what your opponent is.
Just a female's point of view.
Lisa