Wtf???

Harvywallbanger

Josh Eisert
Silver Member
I have recently been looking around on the AZBilliards Home page(not the forum home page) to check out the articles and columns. Some good stuff I always just passed up to go directly to the forums. BUT when I read what I'm about to post from Tom Simpson in the columns section I didn't know whether to laugh or puke. Heres one of things he had to say from his 'Woo woo techniques'.........................>

Sphincter Release - I'm sure this one got your attention. Yes, nothing is sacred. You can do your own jokes on this one. This may be the best physical performance tip of the bunch. We typically carry way more clench in our anuses than we need. We're generally not aware of it though, because what we've always done feels normal to us. Give up some clench. Here's the deal: The more clench you release, the more freely you can stroke. If you seriously work on this one, you'll continue to find more ways to release. Over time, your overall, day-to-day clench level will decrease. This pays off in every physical activity.



There you have it folks. Now can I get a WTF?:confused:

Harvywallbanger - My 'anus' is just fine the way it is and to be perfectly honest I never even thought about my butt hole while playing and seriously don't think it bothers me if it were tightened up a bit. If I go to dog a ball next time and start blaming my tight ass because of this guy I will be pissed!:mad:
 
Harvywallbanger said:
I have recently been looking around on the AZBilliards Home page(not the forum home page) to check out the articles and columns. Some good stuff I always just passed up to go directly to the forums. BUT when I read what I'm about to post from Tom Simpson in the columns section I didn't know whether to laugh or puke. Heres one of things he had to say from his 'Woo woo techniques'.........................>

Sphincter Release - I'm sure this one got your attention. Yes, nothing is sacred. You can do your own jokes on this one. This may be the best physical performance tip of the bunch. We typically carry way more clench in our anuses than we need. We're generally not aware of it though, because what we've always done feels normal to us. Give up some clench. Here's the deal: The more clench you release, the more freely you can stroke. If you seriously work on this one, you'll continue to find more ways to release. Over time, your overall, day-to-day clench level will decrease. This pays off in every physical activity.



There you have it folks. Now can I get a WTF?:confused:

Harvywallbanger - My 'anus' is just fine the way it is and to be perfectly honest I never even thought about my butt hole while playing and seriously don't think it bothers me if it were tightened up a bit. If I go to dog a ball next time and start blaming my tight ass because of this guy I will be pissed!:mad:
so, to play better i need to change my "depends" more often? :eek:

add one more sharking technique to the list. ;)
M.C.
 
curlyscues said:
so, to play better i need to change my "depends" more often? :eek:

add one more sharking technique to the list. ;)
M.C.
No you need to poop more often !!!!!!!!!!
 
I like how he says "this pays off in every physical activity":eek: Just what in the hell is this guy doing with his butt:D

.....not that there is anything wrong with that.
 
ROTFLMAO:D :p :D That is some funny sit. I can understand loosening the stroke up and getting away from the clinching, that's a common issue, but that's a unique way of putting It, I've never associated that with A--- rentention in any form. If I was clinching that hard, then I think I'd have to give the game up altogether;)

Speaking of pooping the pants, A long time ago a friend of Mine Had a looney dude try to stab Him with 2 huge kitchen knives, one in each hand, because he was beating on My friends girlfriends mother, and My friend could'nt stand by why he did that. Luckily He got ahold of him as the guy charged him, then wrapped him up so he could'nt stick him, and got the knives away from him, but The guy strained so hard that he let a load go in his pants. The funny part was when the cops got there. None of them wanted to search the guy or put Him in their car, because he stunk so bad.:D
 
this thread has an unusual aroma

so, does this mean you should cut the cheese when you break? or clench your cheeks when you draw?
M.C.
 
:D If I was over the top & off topic. My appologies, the topic just reminded me of that story for some reason, and thought It was funny. Atleast It was back then After It happened, altough It was Much longer and funnier after it happened, and My friend and His girlfriend were telling me about It. You'd have to know the history of this guy also, he was a real dirt bag that was certified crazy, so never stayed locked up for long no matter how bad of a offense he comitted. He just prayed on people and got away with it all the time. He also ran into someone elses house afterwards that night, and took them hostage until My friend drung him out for them, and held him til the law arrived.
 
disturbing...yet strangely funny at the same time. at a snooker league one time on the table next to me one of the players warned me he was going to start passing gas to throw his opponent off his game, luckily for me he was only joking.
 
just think of all the fighting around here that ended 2006 ..now 2007 starts out with this.leave it to fellow AZers for a Great laugh..............Happy New Year !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:) :) :) :)
 
Harvywallbanger said:
I never even thought about my butt hole while playing and seriously don't think it bothers me if it were tightened up a bit. !:mad:

I'll bet that it crosses your mind about a million times then next time you shoot.

You'll have the guy thinking your trying to shark him with some butt flex excercise!
 
Harvywallbanger said:
Sphincter Release - I'm sure this one got your attention. Yes, nothing is sacred. You can do your own jokes on this one. This may be the best physical performance tip of the bunch. We typically carry way more clench in our anuses than we need. We're generally not aware of it though, because what we've always done feels normal to us. Give up some clench. Here's the deal: The more clench you release, the more freely you can stroke. If you seriously work on this one, you'll continue to find more ways to release. Over time, your overall, day-to-day clench level will decrease. This pays off in every physical activity.
:

Note to self:
Do not attempt after 2 cups of coffee and a bran muffin.
Chech for toilet paper availability Before the emergency sitting....

McCue Banger McCue
 
What's with all you no-bowel-control people? It works, it helps you relax and focus so go use the facilities and THEN release your rear-end. I read this article months ago and the tongue thing is probably the least effective, the sphincter thing the most effective right in front of releasing your gut. It helps with the nerves of competition too!
 
I recall reading that aswell....LOLz...WTF was my first thought too...:D :eek: :D
________
 
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Harvywallbanger said:
'Woo woo techniques'.........................>

Sphincter Release - I'm sure this one got your attention. Yes, nothing is sacred. You can do your own jokes on this one. This may be the best physical performance tip of the bunch. We typically carry way more clench in our anuses than we need. We're generally not aware of it though, because what we've always done feels normal to us. Give up some clench. Here's the deal: The more clench you release, the more freely you can stroke. If you seriously work on this one, you'll continue to find more ways to release. Over time, your overall, day-to-day clench level will decrease. This pays off in every physical activity.

There you have it folks. Now can I get a WTF?:confused:

Ha! LOL.

A sphincter says “what!”

And, ….just how much, would be too much release.
 
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