"You can't beat me sober" (short story)

1pRoscoe

1pRoscoe

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
So I run out to a different pool hall tonight. As you probably guessed, yes, I saw people that I knew, but it was only a few. They got into a ring game on the table next to mine with a rather arrogant, cocky guy.

I'm bs'ing a bit with my two friends playing, they are telling me that this arrogant guy (probably late 20's) is trying to get them to gamble for $20-40/game 9 ball. I looked at the guy a bit closer and recognized him as a guy that I've played one pocket, many years ago. He is a decent shot, but just doesn't know the strategy, or at least he didn't back then.....

So anyways, during this ring game, he gets really pissed off at something, breaks down his cue and storms to the restroom. I am thinking he is leaving, so I walk over to the restroom to see if he wants to play any.

He comes out as I am going to go in, so I stop him with,
"Hey, haven't I played you one pocket here before?"
He said, "Probably, when was this?"
Me - "oh, several years ago, maybe 5?"
Him - "I've been coming here for over 5 yrs."
Me - "Want to play some?"
Him - "How much?"
Me - "Oh, you are looking to gamble...." :p ;)
Him - "Yup - how about $40/game?"
Me - "Sure, what are you going to give me? You want to play that, you must be good..." :rolleyes:
Him - "Nothing, let's play."

Alrighty.....

So to make a long story short, this guy cannot play one pocket. He thinks he can, but he just cannot play the strategy or make the crucial one pocket shots. No bank of his involved more than one rail, he couldn't hide me behind the stack, and he would never bank anything on the short rail that involved cutting it back. Even if it were even, he would send it up table and leave me a cut-bank on the short rail.

I win the first and second. He wins the third game - due to my error. I win the fourth and fifth. At this point, I am making him pay after every game, as I don't want to get burned. He has plenty of cash, but it's getting really late, I've had way too much to drink to be playing.

At this point, he wants to play $20/game 9 ball. I tell him it's late and I need to be getting, but will be happy to give him a chance the next day to get it back. He barks a bit more, so I say sure, one game, $20. I get the break, and I'll be damned if I didn't drop the nine on the break. He tosses a $20 on the table and reracks. I dogged the 7 in the run and he won.

As I am breaking down my cue, he said, and I kid you not "You can't beat me sober. You shoot good, but I can beat you at one pocket any day sober."

:confused:

Me - "Name the time and place."
Him - "2pm here tomorrow."
Me - "Done."

So I get there the next day at 2, he isn't there. I sat at the bar until 3:30, and just as I am getting up to walk out the door, he walks in and really apologizes for oversleeping...... Must've been a really late night.

So he said he is up there 5 days a week and will play me even one pocket for $50/game.

I've been waiting to find a guy like this for a little while now, since my other "easy money" left town....

:D

note: story is longer than I intended, sorry
 
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Thanks for the story. It's always nice to play against arrogant & loud players only to listen the brief moment of silence when they reach for their wallets after the set :p

Remember to keep him on a leash, steady income is better than a one-day jackpot :cool:
 
You Americans, I don't know. You just don't have the knack. It's not about the money. It's about rubbing it in. Start with a few "Eeeh, how did that go in!" after you pot one after scooping the cue ball, or try "Sorry, I was trying to double that one" when you pull of an acute cut. They will beat themselves I promise you.

A good one in call pocket games is to pretend your unsure of the numbers. Then line up on the two ball and say "Five in the corner". Watch his eyes light up waiting for you to foul. But if you cue to the extreme of the ball without chalk you can send the cue ball off at 60° to pocket the 5 hanging over the other corner. Don't forget to say "Oh dear, is that a foul?"

My favourite shot though is when they leave you the winning ball right in the jaws of the pocket. You cue rather randomly and violently as if you are going to smash the number off it, but skim so wildly over the top of the cue ball that it barely reaches. You can see them willing it to stop as it dribbles down the table. But it never does. Not after the hours I've put in.

Boro Nut
 
I hear what you are saying, but unfortunately, none of that applies in one pocket. We have several shots that look like "luck" to the average player, but there is a skill to it..... all depends on presentation.

I'm not trying to hustle him, just beat him out of a few hundred every now and then. He honestly thinks he can beat me, but he just doesn't understand the finer points of the game.
 
Have you ever felt so confident about beating somebody that you played for more more money than you had on you?
 
alstl said:
Have you ever felt so confident about beating somebody that you played for more more money than you had on you?
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alstl,
That's not confidence - its sickness. No one should be spending or gambling more than they have (unless they are our federal government, then I guess that must be okay). :) :)
 
Awww, makes my day reading that story, i love a money player as myself being a money player,
and like alstl said, beating someone when you didn't have that much money on you, is always a gooder feeling. I have at plenty times go and gamble and come back with about 2, 3 hundred dollars playing pool, when times are tough, Man you see the gas prices *shakes his head and laughs. I hope you find him again, money in the pocket for you hehehe. Good Story and good shooting. Cole 'TheConArtist'
 
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Hey Roscoe...with all that money I got some cues I can sell ya...j/j. Good job man...I love taking em down like that.

Shorty
 
alstl said:
Have you ever felt so confident about beating somebody that you played for more more money than you had on you?
Click to expand...

Nope. Never will, either.

Shorty said:
Hey Roscoe...with all that money I got some cues I can sell ya...j/j. Good job man...I love taking em down like that.

Shorty
Click to expand...

After paying my tab and the table time (back to another thread on that one), I was only about $60 winner.

I'm heading up there in a few hours to see if I can catch him again since he didn't have time to play Saturday like we were supposed to.
 
TheConArtist said:
Would a Tree Branch work, The Switch.Cole 'TheConArtist'
Click to expand...
I'd prefer it, that or a broom stick. I may hesitate if someone gave me a cue stick....there is just something that screams disrespectful when you use a cue. :D
 
1pRoscoe said:
I've been waiting to find a guy like this for a little while now, since my other "easy money" left town....
Click to expand...

Roscoe,
A most excellent adventure. I am curious though, as to what the major satisfaction was for you. Was it the winning of stakes, or was it the pleasure of putting the arrogant goofus in his place (since the pecking order of any poolroom is based on the results on the table)??

I find that, even though I am a serious student of the game, and I would play it for free; I was extremely pleased when I advanced to the point where I could take on some of the local arrogant league players, and stomp them without them even realizing they have no chance in the long run. Pool is an incredible game - it is very easy for players to convince themselves that any shots they make are the result of skill, and any shots or runouts that you make are the result of luck (definitely and ego defense mechanism). I think it is the gunfighter mentality that gives us such great satisfaction in the results of these contests - its the reason that all those hours of practice seem well-spent. What are your thoughts?
 
1pRoscoe said:
So I run out to a different pool hall tonight. As you probably guessed, yes, I saw people that I knew, but it was only a few. They got into a ring game on the table next to mine with a rather arrogant, cocky guy.

I'm bs'ing a bit with my two friends playing, they are telling me that this arrogant guy (probably late 20's) is trying to get them to gamble for $20-40/game 9 ball. I looked at the guy a bit closer and recognized him as a guy that I've played one pocket, many years ago. He is a decent shot, but just doesn't know the strategy, or at least he didn't back then.....

So anyways, during this ring game, he gets really pissed off at something, breaks down his cue and storms to the restroom. I am thinking he is leaving, so I walk over to the restroom to see if he wants to play any.

He comes out as I am going to go in, so I stop him with,
"Hey, haven't I played you one pocket here before?"
He said, "Probably, when was this?"
Me - "oh, several years ago, maybe 5?"
Him - "I've been coming here for over 5 yrs."
Me - "Want to play some?"
Him - "How much?"
Me - "Oh, you are looking to gamble...." :p ;)
Him - "Yup - how about $40/game?"
Me - "Sure, what are you going to give me? You want to play that, you must be good..." :rolleyes:
Him - "Nothing, let's play."

Alrighty.....

So to make a long story short, this guy cannot play one pocket. He thinks he can, but he just cannot play the strategy or make the crucial one pocket shots. No bank of his involved more than one rail, he couldn't hide me behind the stack, and he would never bank anything on the short rail that involved cutting it back. Even if it were even, he would send it up table and leave me a cut-bank on the short rail.

I win the first and second. He wins the third game - due to my error. I win the fourth and fifth. At this point, I am making him pay after every game, as I don't want to get burned. He has plenty of cash, but it's getting really late, I've had way too much to drink to be playing.

At this point, he wants to play $20/game 9 ball. I tell him it's late and I need to be getting, but will be happy to give him a chance the next day to get it back. He barks a bit more, so I say sure, one game, $20. I get the break, and I'll be damned if I didn't drop the nine on the break. He tosses a $20 on the table and reracks. I dogged the 7 in the run and he won.

As I am breaking down my cue, he said, and I kid you not "You can't beat me sober. You shoot good, but I can beat you at one pocket any day sober."

:confused:

Me - "Name the time and place."
Him - "2pm here tomorrow."
Me - "Done."

So I get there the next day at 2, he isn't there. I sat at the bar until 3:30, and just as I am getting up to walk out the door, he walks in and really apologizes for oversleeping...... Must've been a really late night.

So he said he is up there 5 days a week and will play me even one pocket for $50/game.

I've been waiting to find a guy like this for a little while now, since my other "easy money" left town....

:D

note: story is longer than I intended, sorry
Click to expand...

Sounds like you screwed up and chased off a potential customer. You might have played the guy on a regular basis for who knows how long if you had done it right. Surprisingly a guy like that can be milked out of thousands over a period of time. I have guys I have been playing for years.
 
Williebetmore said:
alstl,
That's not confidence - its sickness. No one should be spending or gambling more than they have (unless they are our federal government, then I guess that must be okay). :) :)
Click to expand...

I only did it once. I'm not a very good pool player, just started up again a few months ago after I retired. I'm not good enough to gamble even if it was my thing, which it isn't.


When I was a kid I lived in a small town in Iowa which had one tavern with only snooker tables. 15 cents a game, we usually split it loser paid 10 cents winner a nickel. The guy who owned the place, Elmer, would look the other way and let us sneak in a free game now and then because he knew we didn't have much money. To give you an idea, if you worked all day in a bean field hoeing weeds you got two bucks. Bailing hay all day was from 3 to 5 bucks depending on which farmer you worked for.

So, one day I was in Elmers and this rich kid came in, I don't even remember his name, his dad was a banker or something. He asked me to play a game of snooker for more money than I had on me, I don't think he expected me to play him because he knew I probably didn't have that much money. This guy had no idea what he was doing at a pool table.


If it was a game of chance, or a game like 9 ball where one shot can beat you I wouldn't have done it but there was NO WAY this guy could beat me at snooker. His only chance of winning was if I dropped dead in the middle of the match. If he was a poor kid I wouldn't have done it because it would have been mean.

There is a place in a W C Fields movie where he finds out a kid has some money so he sits the kid down at a table and pulls out a deck of cards. The kid says "this isn't gambling is it?" and W C says "not the way I play". :)
 
Williebetmore said:
Was it the winning of stakes, or was it the pleasure of putting the arrogant goofus in his place ??
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A bit of both, really (but more the latter). That night, it was more hitting his wallet and showing him that he isn't really the top player in that place at that given time. I'm sure that had I not had anything to drink at all, it would've played out a bit different, such that macguy is referring to, but I have no worries at all about chasing him away. He's not going anywhere, and if it came to it, I'd be happy to give him 10-7. :D
 
alstl said:
I(snip)
When I was a kid I lived in a small town in Iowa which had one tavern with only snooker tables. 15 cents a game, we usually split it loser paid 10 cents winner a nickel. The guy who owned the place, Elmer(snip):)
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It wasn't the Rooster (I think) in Osky, was it? Just west off the square on the north side of the street?

Jeff Livingston
 
chefjeff said:
It wasn't the Rooster (I think) in Osky, was it? Just west off the square on the north side of the street?

Jeff Livingston
Click to expand...

No, a small town you probably never heard of, Newell. There is a meat packing plant nearby in Storm Lake and they brought in a bunch of foreigners to work there. One of them bought Elmer's a few years ago and burnt it down for the insurance.

I've been in Osky but never to the pool hall. Lived for a while in Knoxville.
 
alstl said:
No, a small town you probably never heard of, Newell. There is a meat packing plant nearby in Storm Lake and they brought in a bunch of foreigners to work there. One of them bought Elmer's a few years ago and burnt it down for the insurance.

I've been in Osky but never to the pool hall. Lived for a while in Knoxville.
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I've heard of Newell...I went to college in Ft. Dodge for a year. In fact, that is where I really played my first serious pool. I met a black guy from Sandusky (I love that name) who said his father was a pool gambler. Anyway, he taught me a two ingredient recipe for 8-ball: Shoot soft, and think. It was also the first time I gambled. He and I went into a bar (illegal, btw) and lost 50 cents each. Believe it or not, that was all I could afford then.

The pool hall in Oskaloosa is where I first played snooker. They had three or four 9 foot snooker tables, that's why I asked the question. I had a local guy show me how to play and then I ran thirty something and forty something. He said I should play more of it, but few around here care for the game.

When in Knoxville, did you ever go to the Sportsmen lounge in Chariton?...that is one nice, little pool hall. I get there about once a year or so.

Jeff Livingston
 
chefjeff said:
I've heard of Newell...I went to college in Ft. Dodge for a year. In fact, that is where I really played my first serious pool. I met a black guy from Sandusky (I love that name) who said his father was a pool gambler. Anyway, he taught me a two ingredient recipe for 8-ball: Shoot soft, and think. It was also the first time I gambled. He and I went into a bar (illegal, btw) and lost 50 cents each. Believe it or not, that was all I could afford then.

The pool hall in Oskaloosa is where I first played snooker. They had three or four 9 foot snooker tables, that's why I asked the question. I had a local guy show me how to play and then I ran thirty something and forty something. He said I should play more of it, but few around here care for the game.

When in Knoxville, did you ever go to the Sportsmen lounge in Chariton?...that is one nice, little pool hall. I get there about once a year or so.

Jeff Livingston
Click to expand...

I passed through Ft Dodge on my way to a funeral last year. My wife's a city girl, she hates that country up there but it still feels like home to me. I was just a kid, never made it to Chariton but I think we played them in football. Not sure what era you were in but I'm talking 60's. My pool playing was totally confined to snooker at Elmer's until I joined the service. A guy named Charley Larson showed me how to shoot, actually showed me the wrong way to make a bridge but it worked to my advantage because when people saw me do it that way they assumed I couldn't shoot. Kind of an unintentional hustle. (Charley was well lubricated but a hell of a good guy). The first time I saw a regulation pool table I remember thinking how easy it looked because of the bigger pockets. I picked up a little cash messing around with it in the service, ran into a couple pool hustlers but I was smart enough to stop when I realized they were better than me, which didn't take long. It seems to me that hustlers prey on people's pride, some people don't want to admit that somebody else is better than they are.

If you ran 30 or 40 your first time you are pretty good. Snooker is a good game to start with because it forces you to learn strategy and how to kick at balls more than a lot of other games.

Where do you live now?
 
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