You might be a pool player if . . .


(Sorry if this idea has already been used but I couldn't think of a suitable search criteria to look it up. Admins, please feel free to delete. It's not the highest-quality thread you'll read today!)

With all the acrimony on some threads here in AZB Forums, I thought it might be a good time to poke some fun at ourselves. At the risk of being ostracized for this idea, please post your thoughts on "You Might Be A Pool Player If...."

I'll start with low-hanging fruit:

You might be a pool player if . . .

. . . you think the three best words you could ever hear are not "I love you" but "Wow, nice shot!"

. . . when you hear the term "bank shot" you don't think of a heist.

. . . English as a language isn't the first thing you think of when you hear it in a sentence.

. . . shafts, tips, and butts don't come to mind as sexual terms.

Add your whacky contributions!



AzB Silver Member
Silver Member pawn your cue for gambling $, take your winnings and buy a new cue, only to put it up in action once more

Lie about where you're going, stay out until all hours, come home with wadded up loose bills, half-stoned, the stench of poor decisions, and it has nothing to do with another woman.


AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
You might be a pool player if...
- Most of the time at least one of your hands looks like you jerked off a smurf.
- You know the location of every coin-op or nine-footer in a bar, restaurant or garage with the door unlocked in a 60 mile radius.
- You can name the members of both Mosconi cup teams but can't identify three people running for president.
- You have ever complained about a $5 greens fee while holding an $8 drink.
- You have a cue ball preference that can't be summed up in 3 sentences or less.
- You have ever had to ask your opponent for a time out long enough to call into work sick.
- You have ever spent more than 5 minutes negotiating the rules before the game.
- You have ever had a wife/girlfriend refer to the pool hall as "the other woman".
- You have worn the same pair of shoes for more than a year but have gone through at least 3 or more break and/or jump cues in that time.
- You have ever told a real estate agent not to bother showing you any houses that didn't at least have a room that was 18' by 14'.