Why do some people get mad when you ask them to gamble?

Woof Biscuit

Woof Biscuit

and gravy
Silver Member
Over the last few months I have asked 3 different guys to play cheap and it seemed to really upset them. None of these folks were friends of mine or anything. My relationship with them is simply to say "hi" when I see them. They were all between 40 and mid 50's. I'm in my mid 30's. The situations have pretty much been the same. I would simply ask, "hey, do you want to play some cheap practice sets for like $10 or $20 a set?". I have never asked them in front of anyone else because I don't want them to be embarrassed if they don't want to play. I also said it quietly, so as not to be calling them out or anything. I have a really hard time focusing if it's for nothing. As far as skill goes, all three of these guys play very similar to me. Nobody really has an edge. In fact, two of the three beat me in short tournament races the last time they played me.

All three times they made an excuse that didn't make any sense and now won't make eye contact with me or speak to me first. :( I feel like a jerk just because I don't like anyone being upset with me. I can understand if you don't gamble. That's fine, but you don't have to get mad about it. Gambling is part of pool and always will be IMO. Anyone else have this experience or can provide perspective from their side perhaps? Thanks.
 
because it reminds me how broke i am. but seriously i've had this happen to me a few times. some people are just really turned off by gambling. it puts them outside their comfort zone i think so they can't play the game like they're used to playing it. that upsets them. that's my theory or the "you trying to rub it in that i'm broke???" theory is still on the table
 
I m also no money-player. table-bill, perhaps for *cheap* like you shown up. But a simple *Sorry my friend-i don t gamble would have been nicer* ..of course.
Don t make to much trouble about it. Some guys are just strange :-)
I would ask them perhaps, why so unfriendly and upset- a simple no would have it done also, without any excuse or something else.

lg
Ingo
 
Because you've put them in the position of having to respond in a way that makes them be perceived as a nit. For whatever reason they have, it doesn't matter to the pool sub-culture, because "if you won't gamble, you're a nit." I see it here, all the time.

Maybe they have a legit reason, financially. Maybe they really don't like gambling. Maybe they aren't comfortable with their game to be gambling. It doesn't really matter. You've put them in the position of having to make an excuse, and they aren't comfortable with it. And who knows who else you will tell about their decision/excuse...

At least that's my guess.
 
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Well, tell those players you didn't mean to offend them when you asked them to play some cheap sets. Then, ask them why they are upset with you for asking them.

Just maybe, they will give you an insightful answer. They may have even considered you a "pool playing friend and a nice guy" and may have felt insulted that you wanted to take their money. You have to look at it from their point of view. How do those people view you?

Sometimes, its not about pool, just a people issue.
 
Have you seen them gambling with others?

If not, why did you assume they would want to gamble with you?

Not knowing you, they may have assumed they were about to be a meal for a shark. :D
 
I hope you talk to them again.

let them know why you wanted to gamble.
They may have thought that you were stating that you think you are so much better than them that you figured that you would just take their money.
With some discussion you may make a couple new friends or at least pick up a couple new practice partners.

Hope all goes well,

SLIM
 
JustPlay said:
Well, tell those players you didn't mean to offend them when you asked them to play some cheap sets. Then, ask them why they are upset with you for asking them.

Just maybe, they will give you an insightful answer. They may have even considered you a "pool playing friend and a nice guy" and may have felt insulted that you wanted to take their money. You have to look at it from their point of view. How do those people view you?

Sometimes, its not about pool, just a people issue.
Click to expand...

+1

No disrespect intended here, but were you looking for simple $10 games, or trying to bait the hook for larger sums ?? Some people can see through that sort of thing, and most expect it at some point, especially when they're in a place where it's known to happen.
Hell, just about everybody in the poolhall has seem TCOM ;)...

Either way, be cool and straight about it, though... "Hey, _____, if I gave you the wrong vibe the other day, I apologize."

Just my $.02...
 
I have a lot of reasons why I get upset when people ask me to gamble but I think it fundamentally comes down to the fact that I play pool for personal enjoyment and relaxation. If I have money on the game then it's not relaxing and I don't enjoy it.

Also, it gets really tiring having to say "no I don't play for money", then having the guy walk away because "he doesn't bother playing pool if there isn't money on it."
 
When someone won't take no for an anwser i'd tell them that I don't gamble on pool but I like to gamble on human hunting. We each put up $1000, then take our rifles out in the woods to hunt each other. Winner comes back to pick up the posted $2000. I never had a taker. Of course most people knew i'd do it and that i was missing a few cards. Johnnyt
 
$5 - $10 - $20 a set?

I never ask anyone to gamble that I havent seen gambling..., I might ask them if they gamble, that way they can say yes or no and not be under any pressure..., having said that though, if you ask a guy to play a set for a few bucks, it should not be a big deal, gambler or no gambler.

If you saked to play for $20 a game of $100 a set, well that might sound steep to a guy that doesnt play for cash, but $5 or $10 a set sounds friendly enough that it should not offend.
 
the fact that 3 different people dont want to make eye contact with you tells me the way you ask people to gamble needs improving.
if people dont gamble im sure its not the first time they have said no to someone
like others have mentioned i would try to have a private conversation on why the bad vibes
it might help you learn to get games in the future
jmho
icbw
 
Thanks for the feedback! Even the critical stuff. These guys have seen me gamble with really good players getting weight. Maybe they think I'm better than I am? Now that you mention it, I don't think I've seen 2 of them bet before. If I get the chance, I will ask them what's up in a friendly way like someone said above. I like all of these guys and respect their games. I don't like the feeling of someone being mad at me over something that I thought was innocent.
 
A very few people will get up and play for money even if it is a close game or they have the worst of it.
Most people want to steal something.
Those guys have probably been around the poolroom enough to figure someone put you on them or that you are taking a cheap shot at them.
I'm not saying you were , I have no way to know.
Ask yourself how you would have felt if one of them had said I won't play for cheap but I'll play a race to 5 for a thousand.
I wish I had a dollar for every time someone came in and wanted to play for money and lost and left and could not pay.
I know a couple on this forum.
They are always talking about gambling it up , yet, I know people they have stiffed and will never pay.
They didn't lose a thousand and went out oweing a hundred, they lost 20 dollars and only had 8 on them. And the time was 15.00
It's a shame that every time this happens it is not an unwritten rule that the whole poolroom takes them outside and everyone ***** slaps them.
It would not be as prevalent.
 
Dear Gambling Ambassador

Hello,

If you are going to be an ambassador for gambling on pool, then you need to smooth out your roll big time. Your approach as stated almost encouraged them to say no to you.
 
Woof Biscuit said:
Over the last few months I have asked 3 different guys to play cheap and it seemed to really upset them. None of these folks were friends of mine or anything. My relationship with them is simply to say "hi" when I see them. They were all between 40 and mid 50's. I'm in my mid 30's. The situations have pretty much been the same. I would simply ask, "hey, do you want to play some cheap practice sets for like $10 or $20 a set?". I have never asked them in front of anyone else because I don't want them to be embarrassed if they don't want to play. I also said it quietly, so as not to be calling them out or anything. I have a really hard time focusing if it's for nothing. As far as skill goes, all three of these guys play very similar to me. Nobody really has an edge. In fact, two of the three beat me in short tournament races the last time they played me.

All three times they made an excuse that didn't make any sense and now won't make eye contact with me or speak to me first. :( I feel like a jerk just because I don't like anyone being upset with me. I can understand if you don't gamble. That's fine, but you don't have to get mad about it. Gambling is part of pool and always will be IMO. Anyone else have this experience or can provide perspective from their side perhaps? Thanks.
Click to expand...


It sounds to me like you're asking the wrong guys to play. I think part of the deal has to be that you correctly size up potential customers and perhaps learn to better distinguish between "combat veterans" and "the civilians" in the room.

Lou Figueroa
 
My advice to is this:
Instead of trying to understand the motivations for other peoples behavior, you should start with understanding your own. You say you can't focus without gambling? Perhaps you start playing some for free sets so you can overcome this roadblock. I see to many people who use gambling as a means of focus. in my opinion, this is a bigger weakness than someone who won't gamble.

Chris
 
With a name like "Woof" it doesn't surprise me.
Personally I like the "woofing" and I rarely play for money (see avatar comment).
I've seen people get upset when asked to play for fun, or when the waitress asks them if they want a drink.
I wouldn't worry that a guy with no poolroom savvy doesn't like me because I asked him to play.
Like Mel Brooks says "people have quirks".
 
People should not get upset if you ask them to "play some cheap"....BUT....I assume you will take "NO" without additional conversation. Now, are you asking "gamblers"? Are they people you ask YOUR SPEED? If your only asking guys that play 2 balls under you...well...you are not trying to gamble. Some guys like to "kill baby seals on the beach with clubs and call it HUNTING". If I "hunt" something I want them to be able to "hunt back". Your asking the wrong guys then...There are plenty of people who like to GAMBLE on the outcome of pool games.
 
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