The Mental Game

T

TheSneak

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
I have a problem. I consider myself to be an excellent player. At my best, I can run with the pros. I have won multiple tournaments, broke-and-run consecutive 9 ball racks on 9 ft diamond tables, am top ranked in all of the leagues I play in, won hundreds of dollars gambling, but I have an absolutely horrible mental game. It's my Achilles' Heel.

When it comes to my teammates, I have great patience, but I have no patience for myself. I allow myself to miss occasionally, even the easy straight-in ones. Everybody makes stroke mistakes. But once I feel I am out of stroke during an important match, I lose it. Earl Strickland is a saint compared to me. I embarrass myself to the point of no end, throwing a childish tantrum and saying "this is a joke" and cursing. My cue stick sometimes even takes the brunt of it. This of course just makes my game worse and I am thrown into a pit of despair with no hopes of returning. By the time I lose, all I want to say is "I played terrible" or "Let's gamble" or "you're not that good" which are all awful things to say. Instead I usually do a flimsy handshake, grit my teeth and force out a "good game" or even "you played well" :angry:. I hate myself for all of this, but I don't know how to overcome it.

I am a huge fan of the game and have spent countless hours watching replays of matches from all of the top players. One of my favorite things to watch is when they aren't playing well and miss uncharacteristically. Instead of being beside themselves by a shot they couldn't POSSIBLY miss, they just sit down and don't let it bother them. Most of them, at least. My question is how do they do it? How can you put so much of your heart and soul into the game, be so incredibly focused, and then have it all go to naught in a shot or two and BRUSH IT OFF?

To get to the next level in my game, I really need to overcome this character flaw. I've talked to several people about it, I've read Capelle's A Mind for Pool, but I still can't quite extinguish my emotions at the table. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
 
I'm nowhere near your caliber and I have nowhere near the reaction you do to my poor play, but I'm very interested to hear other's thoughts on this.

I honestly feel like it's what's preventing me from taking the next step.

I dog the money ball constantly.

It's like my mind is telling my body that we don't need to win this. But why?

Why am I afraid to succeed?
 
fake it until you make it

Two things, first you need to get a more realistic view of your game. As you notice, even the best players in the world miss the occasional incredibly easy shot. The percentage of times they do it might be a lot less but in matches at the same event I saw Efren and Bustamonte both miss almost the identical shot that a bar room banger makes almost every time. I'd bet either one to make that shot a hundred times out of a hundred with a small to medium bet on it themselves. Know that everyone misses, even you!

The second thing is to react to the miss, appropriately! "Damn, that was stupid!" Force a grin or even a small laugh. Gonna feel as phony as a three dollar bill for awhile but after awhile it gets real. That occasional fubar isn't you, laugh, dismiss it, put it behind you. Efren rubs the back of his head when somebody does something really good to him or he does something really bad. I tried it, took six months for the hair to grow back! :thumbup:

You are tripping over the line from realistic to unrealistic expectations. Doomed to fail and because you think you should be able to succeed you blow your cool and then of course things really go to pieces.

Hu
 
TheSneak said:
I have a problem. I consider myself to be an excellent player. At my best, I can run with the pros. I have won multiple tournaments, broke-and-run consecutive 9 ball racks on 9 ft diamond tables, am top ranked in all of the leagues I play in, won hundreds of dollars gambling, but I have an absolutely horrible mental game. It's my Achilles' Heel.

When it comes to my teammates, I have great patience, but I have no patience for myself. I allow myself to miss occasionally, even the easy straight-in ones. Everybody makes stroke mistakes. But once I feel I am out of stroke during an important match, I lose it. Earl Strickland is a saint compared to me. I embarrass myself to the point of no end, throwing a childish tantrum and saying "this is a joke" and cursing. My cue stick sometimes even takes the brunt of it. This of course just makes my game worse and I am thrown into a pit of despair with no hopes of returning. By the time I lose, all I want to say is "I played terrible" or "Let's gamble" or "you're not that good" which are all awful things to say. Instead I usually do a flimsy handshake, grit my teeth and force out a "good game" or even "you played well" :angry:. I hate myself for all of this, but I don't know how to overcome it.

I am a huge fan of the game and have spent countless hours watching replays of matches from all of the top players. One of my favorite things to watch is when they aren't playing well and miss uncharacteristically. Instead of being beside themselves by a shot they couldn't POSSIBLY miss, they just sit down and don't let it bother them. Most of them, at least. My question is how do they do it? How can you put so much of your heart and soul into the game, be so incredibly focused, and then have it all go to naught in a shot or two and BRUSH IT OFF?

To get to the next level in my game, I really need to overcome this character flaw. I've talked to several people about it, I've read Capelle's A Mind for Pool, but I still can't quite extinguish my emotions at the table. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Click to expand...

DD and Hu had some great advice for you and you should give it some thought. I was wondering if you ever really enjoyed playing this game? It doesn't sound like your having any fun.

I think once your able to make peace with whatever it is that's bothering you, you will enjoy the game again and you wont have all this self imposed pressure.

Best of luck to you.
 
Thanks, DLD. I'll see if I can find that book.

And yes, that's exactly what I thought the other day during a tournament. I had the tourney favorite down 4-1 before he could even get comfortable in his chair. This is a guy that was going to be moved up in the rating, no matter what he did in the state finals. He's been underrated by 2 levels, in my humble estimation. So, they were giving him one final shot in this tournament before moving him up for next season.

I immediately thought about the attention I'd receive and how people would start thinking that I was underrated. Which I WOULD BE, if I could ever make the money ball.

It's extremely frustrating to run a rack and dog the last ball. Or see that I can run 3 and then play a nice safe. Force the rack to be played out till I can get out.

And then dog it.
 
Cdryden said:
DD and Hu had some great advice for you and you should give it some thought. I was wondering if you ever really enjoyed playing this game? It doesn't sound like your having any fun.

I think once your able to make peace with whatever it is that's bothering you, you will enjoy the game again and you wont have all this self imposed pressure.

Best of luck to you.
Click to expand...

I don't think that's what it is. I enjoy nothing more than pool when I am playing well, which is actually most of the time. Even when I'm not quite in dead stroke I love the strategy and challenge of it, and nothing feels better than to knock down a low percentage shot.
 
fathomblue said:
Sorry to hijack or steer your thread, Sneak.
Click to expand...

It's no problem. Fortunately missing the money ball is not really an issue for me anymore. A tip on this I learned from my friend is to NOT play it at pocket speed. By not babying it, you hit the stroke with confidence and usually your pocketing percentage goes way up. If you can hit it firm with a lot of draw or stun, you tend to eliminate the stroke mistakes that can form when you get into your head. Plus it's something else to think about when you're on the money ball.
 
TheSneak said:
I have a problem. I consider myself to be an excellent player. At my best, I can run with the pros. I have won multiple tournaments, broke-and-run consecutive 9 ball racks on 9 ft diamond tables, am top ranked in all of the leagues I play in, won hundreds of dollars gambling, but I have an absolutely horrible mental game. It's my Achilles' Heel.

When it comes to my teammates, I have great patience, but I have no patience for myself. I allow myself to miss occasionally, even the easy straight-in ones. Everybody makes stroke mistakes. But once I feel I am out of stroke during an important match, I lose it. Earl Strickland is a saint compared to me. I embarrass myself to the point of no end, throwing a childish tantrum and saying "this is a joke" and cursing. My cue stick sometimes even takes the brunt of it. This of course just makes my game worse and I am thrown into a pit of despair with no hopes of returning. By the time I lose, all I want to say is "I played terrible" or "Let's gamble" or "you're not that good" which are all awful things to say. Instead I usually do a flimsy handshake, grit my teeth and force out a "good game" or even "you played well" :angry:. I hate myself for all of this, but I don't know how to overcome it.

I am a huge fan of the game and have spent countless hours watching replays of matches from all of the top players. One of my favorite things to watch is when they aren't playing well and miss uncharacteristically. Instead of being beside themselves by a shot they couldn't POSSIBLY miss, they just sit down and don't let it bother them. Most of them, at least. My question is how do they do it? How can you put so much of your heart and soul into the game, be so incredibly focused, and then have it all go to naught in a shot or two and BRUSH IT OFF?

To get to the next level in my game, I really need to overcome this character flaw. I've talked to several people about it, I've read Capelle's A Mind for Pool, but I still can't quite extinguish my emotions at the table. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Click to expand...

Jeez ...how do you know me? Sounds like you're talking about me. I am not a world beater but I am just like you. Some problems same behavior.
Nice thread man. Can wait to improve this part of my game...it bothers me a lot:(

Thanks,

Chris
 
ShootingArts said:
Two things, first you need to get a more realistic view of your game. As you notice, even the best players in the world miss the occasional incredibly easy shot. The percentage of times they do it might be a lot less but in matches at the same event I saw Efren and Bustamonte both miss almost the identical shot that a bar room banger makes almost every time. I'd bet either one to make that shot a hundred times out of a hundred with a small to medium bet on it themselves. Know that everyone misses, even you!

The second thing is to react to the miss, appropriately! "Damn, that was stupid!" Force a grin or even a small laugh. Gonna feel as phony as a three dollar bill for awhile but after awhile it gets real. That occasional fubar isn't you, laugh, dismiss it, put it behind you. Efren rubs the back of his head when somebody does something really good to him or he does something really bad. I tried it, took six months for the hair to grow back! :thumbup:

You are tripping over the line from realistic to unrealistic expectations. Doomed to fail and because you think you should be able to succeed you blow your cool and then of course things really go to pieces.

Hu
Click to expand...
Nice post Hu.
My biggest fear of the game was myself.I couldnt figure out how i could go from being confident to playing scared at the flick of a switch.
I came up with a word to help me.(Accept)
Its kinda of crazy how thoughts can change the way you play.
 
TheSneak said:
I have a problem. I consider myself to be an excellent player. At my best, I can run with the pros. I have won multiple tournaments, broke-and-run consecutive 9 ball racks on 9 ft diamond tables, am top ranked in all of the leagues I play in, won hundreds of dollars gambling, but I have an absolutely horrible mental game. It's my Achilles' Heel.

When it comes to my teammates, I have great patience, but I have no patience for myself. I allow myself to miss occasionally, even the easy straight-in ones. Everybody makes stroke mistakes. But once I feel I am out of stroke during an important match, I lose it. Earl Strickland is a saint compared to me. I embarrass myself to the point of no end, throwing a childish tantrum and saying "this is a joke" and cursing. My cue stick sometimes even takes the brunt of it. This of course just makes my game worse and I am thrown into a pit of despair with no hopes of returning. By the time I lose, all I want to say is "I played terrible" or "Let's gamble" or "you're not that good" which are all awful things to say. Instead I usually do a flimsy handshake, grit my teeth and force out a "good game" or even "you played well" :angry:. I hate myself for all of this, but I don't know how to overcome it.

I am a huge fan of the game and have spent countless hours watching replays of matches from all of the top players. One of my favorite things to watch is when they aren't playing well and miss uncharacteristically. Instead of being beside themselves by a shot they couldn't POSSIBLY miss, they just sit down and don't let it bother them. Most of them, at least. My question is how do they do it? How can you put so much of your heart and soul into the game, be so incredibly focused, and then have it all go to naught in a shot or two and BRUSH IT OFF?

To get to the next level in my game, I really need to overcome this character flaw. I've talked to several people about it, I've read Capelle's A Mind for Pool, but I still can't quite extinguish my emotions at the table. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Click to expand...

My emotions use to be similar to what you are saying but not quite as excessive, I love my cues and could never hurt them. lol Anyway, I have felt the way you feel and admittedly sometimes still do. A few people, including my wife, had called me out on it and I knew I needed to change too. What works for me is a couple things.

First and foremost, think positive the whole time. Have you ever been way ahead and lost? Have you ever been way behind and won? Has your stroke come and gone during a game? If you answered yes to any of these than you already know its possible to get back in it. Now you just need to believe it and it will happen. Don't dwell on the negative, or it will only bring you down more.

Second, take a couple very deep breaths when the anger starts to build, it is very calming and helps me most of the time I get any nerves or angered. If that doesn't help, excuse yourself, go to the bathroom, wash your hands, and splash some cold water on your face and try to recompose yourself.

I also replaced curse words with "Oops" when I miss easy shots. It will normally make me smile when I say it cuz it's kind of corny to say.

Like I said, I understand your pain, and these things have helped me a lot the past couple of years. It didn't change overnight, and I am still working at it, but its a lot better than it was.
 
DoubleD said:
This statement really sounds like what my uncle (20yr policeman at the time) told me that most recently beaten wives said when he would be called out to a dispute.
Click to expand...

So you're saying I should leave the game of pool because I can't overcome my emotions at the table? No offense, but I don't think this analogy is fitting.
 
I am probably worst than (was worst than) you with regards to letting the child out when the game was not going my way. It still creeps up on me but for the most part it's gone and it's letting me move upward with my game. I think for the most part I owe it to the book "The pleasure of small motions" a great read by a great pool player who's also a pschologist. So he really taylors the reading to both of us.

For the pros, how do they do it... they are so confident that they will never miss that shot again for 10 years that it's nothing off their back.
 
TheSneak said:
I have a problem. I consider myself to be an excellent player. At my best, I can run with the pros. I have won multiple tournaments, broke-and-run consecutive 9 ball racks on 9 ft diamond tables, am top ranked in all of the leagues I play in, won hundreds of dollars gambling, but I have an absolutely horrible mental game. It's my Achilles' Heel.

When it comes to my teammates, I have great patience, but I have no patience for myself. I allow myself to miss occasionally, even the easy straight-in ones. Everybody makes stroke mistakes. But once I feel I am out of stroke during an important match, I lose it. Earl Strickland is a saint compared to me. I embarrass myself to the point of no end, throwing a childish tantrum and saying "this is a joke" and cursing. My cue stick sometimes even takes the brunt of it. This of course just makes my game worse and I am thrown into a pit of despair with no hopes of returning. By the time I lose, all I want to say is "I played terrible" or "Let's gamble" or "you're not that good" which are all awful things to say. Instead I usually do a flimsy handshake, grit my teeth and force out a "good game" or even "you played well" :angry:. I hate myself for all of this, but I don't know how to overcome it.

I am a huge fan of the game and have spent countless hours watching replays of matches from all of the top players. One of my favorite things to watch is when they aren't playing well and miss uncharacteristically. Instead of being beside themselves by a shot they couldn't POSSIBLY miss, they just sit down and don't let it bother them. Most of them, at least. My question is how do they do it? How can you put so much of your heart and soul into the game, be so incredibly focused, and then have it all go to naught in a shot or two and BRUSH IT OFF?

To get to the next level in my game, I really need to overcome this character flaw. I've talked to several people about it, I've read Capelle's A Mind for Pool, but I still can't quite extinguish my emotions at the table. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Click to expand...

After dealing with similar feelings most of my shooting life and looking for cures, I have adopted the method in this thread with, by far, the most success I've had to date. What to me is most remarkable is my ability to recognize how it helps while doing it. http://forums.azbilliards.com/showthread.php?t=216564
 
50% of the people that play each and every game are losers. If you're lucky, you'll win a little more than you'll lose. A fair portion of these losses will be attributable to your shortcomings and a fair portion will be attributable to bad fortune. There are a few people in the world that might have the good fortune of being well ahead in the game who are balanced by the countless people who are well behind. In the end, everyone, with the exception of 10 people on the planet, are all losers.

I try to get to a handful of pro-level events a year. I have to admit, it can be really frustrating mentally preparing for them because I have to try and convince myself I'm going to try and win the whole thing when in fact, just cashing would be considered an accomplishment. In retrospect and in conversation, I know that my place in a tournament is often to keep pro players honest. In fact, that's pretty much my role now in pool, not to be a champion but to make it a little harder for someone else to be champion.

Obviously the sting of losing never really goes away but it does make me feel better if the person that beat me wins it all. That's why when I lose, I wish them luck. On the flip side, maybe one day, if I keep working at it, I'll get my day in the sun. I'm not going anywhere.
 
rburgoyne said:
Second, take a couple very deep breaths when the anger starts to build, it is very calming and helps me most of the time I get any nerves or angered. If that doesn't help, excuse yourself, go to the bathroom, wash your hands, and splash some cold water on your face and try to recompose yourself.
Click to expand...

Come to think of it, when I get really flustered in a match, leaving the table does kind of reset my brain and I'm fine until I let something else get to me. Unfortunately, you are usually only allowed to leave once in a match. I need to find something that will "reset" my brain at the table.
 
TheSneak said:
I have a problem. I consider myself to be an excellent player. At my best, I can run with the pros. I have won multiple tournaments, broke-and-run consecutive 9 ball racks on 9 ft diamond tables, am top ranked in all of the leagues I play in, won hundreds of dollars gambling, but I have an absolutely horrible mental game. It's my Achilles' Heel.

When it comes to my teammates, I have great patience, but I have no patience for myself. I allow myself to miss occasionally, even the easy straight-in ones. Everybody makes stroke mistakes. But once I feel I am out of stroke during an important match, I lose it. Earl Strickland is a saint compared to me. I embarrass myself to the point of no end, throwing a childish tantrum and saying "this is a joke" and cursing. My cue stick sometimes even takes the brunt of it. This of course just makes my game worse and I am thrown into a pit of despair with no hopes of returning. By the time I lose, all I want to say is "I played terrible" or "Let's gamble" or "you're not that good" which are all awful things to say. Instead I usually do a flimsy handshake, grit my teeth and force out a "good game" or even "you played well" :angry:. I hate myself for all of this, but I don't know how to overcome it.

I am a huge fan of the game and have spent countless hours watching replays of matches from all of the top players. One of my favorite things to watch is when they aren't playing well and miss uncharacteristically. Instead of being beside themselves by a shot they couldn't POSSIBLY miss, they just sit down and don't let it bother them. Most of them, at least. My question is how do they do it? How can you put so much of your heart and soul into the game, be so incredibly focused, and then have it all go to naught in a shot or two and BRUSH IT OFF?

To get to the next level in my game, I really need to overcome this character flaw. I've talked to several people about it, I've read Capelle's A Mind for Pool, but I still can't quite extinguish my emotions at the table. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Click to expand...
This is not pool related.

Freddie
 
Jude Rosenstock said:
50% of the people that play each and every game are losers. If you're lucky, you'll win a little more than you'll lose. A fair portion of these losses will be attributable to your shortcomings and a fair portion will be attributable to bad fortune. There are a few people in the world that might have the good fortune of being well ahead in the game who are balanced by the countless people who are well behind. In the end, everyone, with the exception of 10 people on the planet, are all losers.

I try to get to a handful of pro-level events a year. I have to admit, it can be really frustrating mentally preparing for them because I have to try and convince myself I'm going to try and win the whole thing when in fact, just cashing would be considered an accomplishment. In retrospect and in conversation, I know that my place in a tournament is often to keep pro players honest. In fact, that's pretty much my role now in pool, not to be a champion but to make it a little harder for someone else to be champion.

Obviously the sting of losing never really goes away but it does make me feel better if the person that beat me wins it all. That's why when I lose, I wish them luck. On the flip side, maybe one day, if I keep working at it, I'll get my day in the sun. I'm not going anywhere.
Click to expand...

I appreciate your post and you have a great perspective, but even though it seems like it, I have no problem with losing. In fact, a couple of my favorite matches I've played is when I lost.

One time in the valley forge open 9 ball event, I was playing outstanding, but so was my opponent. It's a race-to-5, best of 3 sets. Every set went hill-hill, him winning the first, me the second, and the final one he won with a break-and-run. When he won, I had a huge smile on my face and wished him the best in the rest of the tournament. We both deserved to win that match, but he came out on top that day.

I still tell people that story because even though I lost, I played a great match and enjoyed the experience. That's all I'm trying to get out of pool. Not a bunch of "w's".
 
TheSneak said:
I appreciate your post and you have a great perspective, but even though it seems like it, I have no problem with losing. In fact, a couple of my favorite matches I've played is when I lost.

One time in the valley forge open 9 ball event, I was playing outstanding, but so was my opponent. It's a race-to-5, best of 3 sets. Every set went hill-hill, him winning the first, me the second, and the final one he won with a break-and-run. When he won, I had a huge smile on my face and wished him the best in the rest of the tournament. We both deserved to win that match, but he came out on top that day.

I still tell people that story because even though I lost, I played a great match and enjoyed the experience. That's all I'm trying to get out of pool. Not a bunch of "w's".
Click to expand...

Let me ask you something, then. When you see your opponent make a mistake, do you like it more when he throws his cue into his chair OR when he calmly sits down and does nothing else?

Personally, I take a little pleasure in watching someone self-destruct. I take it as a sign of respect. They KNOW that mistake is going to cost them a lot and they're mad about it.

I try not to give my opponent the same pleasure. That's why I try not to show any emotion. I can't always help it but I do my best. As well, perhaps it shows a degree of confidence that one mistake is allowable, as though to say, "I made a mistake, so what? you're still not winning."
 
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