Calling on all AZ members!

[Perk]

Wife and I roll into a small bar and I head to the table as usual hoping for some action. As I put the quarters up some dude says pretty sternly: "Were playing 20$/man and its partners". I said "no prob my wife will be my partner." We win the flip and myy wife breaks and runs about 6-7 balls pretty much each time, and they cant get out. I pot about 10 stop shot balls or so to win 5 straight games. Stern guy says: "You didnt tell us you brought a secret weapon!".....

Quick $200 in tiny bar and didnt even sweat. I miss the days of bar table 8ball at $10/$20 a rack with line of quarters waiting to play.

 

[Luxury]

I won the MVP award yesterday Woot Woot!!! 2nd season watch out here I come.

That's all folks! Weee

Marry me?...

 

[RunoutJJ]

I once ate a mushroom cap and stem and then went to my local hall to bang them around for a bit. I couldn't stop laughing!!! Funniest time I ever had on a pool table. :lol:

 

[Tramp Steamer]

I knew a guy by the name of Carmine "The Weasel" Manzano, from Joliet, Illinois, who was a pool player. He got his nick name on account of his nose being long and pointy.
Carmine was great at One Pocket, with great stamina. He could play all night long and most of the next day. I heard he played thirty-two hours straight, onetime, without so much as a smoke, or a piss break. His ability to play for long stretches, however, proved to be his undoing. Into the second night of a marathon match, Carmine called a halt to the proceedings, saying he wanted to go and grab a few hours sleep. Sadly, for poor Carmine, he never made it home that night. While motoring around a high speed curve he fell asleep at the wheel, careened off the roadway, and crashed into a tree. The doctors were later able to save his life, but unfortunately had to amputate his right hand.
In a stroke of good fortune the attending physcians got together and decided to try out an experimental bionic hand, they had recently developed, so by the time Carmine was released from the hospital, he was using his new right hand for almost everything. The only stipulation, cautioned the doctors, was the hand being operated by voice command, was extaordinarily powerful. They advised him to use restraint when telling it what to do.
Still recooperating at home, he had plenty of time on his hands (no pun intended) so decided to watch some porn on the computer. He went to his favorite site intitled "The Nude Adventures of Old Christine", and put his feet up on the desk.
At this same time, Carmine's brother Jack was up on top of the house fixing a leak. Needing some assistance getting down he asked Carmine's wife, who was hanging wet clothes on the line out back, to ask Carmine for some help.
She went to the back door and yelled through the screen.
"Hey, Carmine. Come help your brother Jack off the roof!"
Ten minutes later he was dead from a massive loss of blood.

 

[JuicyGirl]

How Sweet!

Marry me?...

Thanks, but I have to decline your proposal as I'm already doing time... I mean married. This summer EasyEJL and I celebrate 18 years, in a row, without any time outs or days off for good behavior:rotflmao:.

Good luck to you! :thumbup:
Loren

 

[Celophanewrap]

Thanks, but I have to decline your proposal as I'm already doing time... I mean married. This summer EasyEJL and I celebrate 18 years, in a row, without any time outs or days off for good behavior:rotflmao:.

Good luck to you! :thumbup:
Loren

Time off for Good behavior?
Awesome trophy Juicy, I couldn't be MVP in a one person league. I like the gender specific feature.
Do you get a hall pass for Las Vegas this summer?

 

[Donny Lutz]

You think that was a blizzard?

Mark Ford and i are going to the DCC back in 2011, so on our way we are picking up Brandon Shuff in Hagerstown Md, which is on our way to DCC, weather is fine we are flying down the road (trying to get there a little early so we can rest before the banks start) then all of a sudden the weather turns to terrible, blizzard like conditions and it was like this all the way from western Maryland to the Kentucky line , so about a 8-9 hour trip took us about 14 hours, so during all this extra time we had together of course we start talking about pool and pool players, Mark isnt saying to much because he is driving in this blizzard, So Shuff starts talking about playing all these different pool players for money and of course i ask him well how are you going to play these great players you have just mention and Shuff says without missing a beat i would play them all even and i say why would you play these great players even when you could get a spot, Shuff comes back with ,i dont need a spot i can beat them all even and Shuff did mention players like Svb and Archer admitting that he would need weight to play these players, but he would never ask for weight from those players, Shuff said he would wait until he was ready enough to play them even, While at DCC i was with Shuff when Jeremy Jones ask Brandon to play some even 1pocket and Brandon told Jeremy instead of me asking you for a spot playing 1pocket i will just wait until i can play you even, So Shuff has a very strong mind set and a hell of a lot of pride, during the long ass blizzard trip we were on, Shuff had said that one day he would be on the Mosconi cup team and sure enough with all his pride and confidence Shuff had did what he told Mark Ford and I, ON THAT LONG DEADLY BLIZZARD HIGHWAY ROAD!

Back around '75, Billy Steele and I were driving my old Ford pick-up back from Florida, when we hit a blizzard in Illinois. No snow, but 50 mph winds that blew the 12" of snow cover into eight and ten foot drifts that forced the closing of the Interstate and pretty much everything else. We were lucky to get off the road and into a motel in the town of Mattoon. There was a pool hall within walking distance, but it was empty. It was a very old place with very old Brunswick cues on the wall. In later years I regretted not offering the owner some cash for the cues, etc., as they said the place was soon to close down.
But the owner told us of a "pool hall" just up the road. It turned out to have two 9-footers and a billiard table. The building was a cement floor aluminum building looking like it had long since been condemned.
The pocket tables were so worn there was NO cloth on the rails, and very little on the slate!
Billy managed to work the locals for a Benjamin at 9-ball, and then I managed to beat him a game of 3-C before we left.
Back at the motel, where we had left our gallon water jugs just inside the door of our room, we found them frozen solid! The weather report on television told us that the wind chill that morning was 90 below zero.

 

[Cdryden]

20 years ago,,after a pool tournament. Me and friend stayed in the bar and was drinking a few. All the time during the tournament we had won a bunch of stuffed animals out of a claw machine.
They were on the table in front of us. So when it was time to go,,I zipped my pool stick up in a cloth case with the zipper on the end. And just about that time,,he started throwing them animals at me.

I used my stick (and case) as a bat,,and started hitting them across the room.
I went for a home run,,,and stuff started breaking all across the bar. Peoples drinks at one table,,then pictures off the wall at the other end of the bar,,,and the clock.

Everybody started looking around to see what was happening. Including me/us??

It took a minute to figure it out,,,but the butt end of the stick came out of the case,,at full speed. Like a bullet!!!

It wiped 3 drinks off the table between 3 people sitting there. How it did not hit them,,,IDK?? Could have killed them!!

My stick was in pieces all over the place.

It cost me $100 ,,,,some for drinks,,and I gave the rest to bar tender!! for damages.

LOL Great story!

 

[Cdryden]

Here is one of my favorite stories from my past, although it really doesn't involve me. This story is about Mel and Jack.

These two guys would play sets for around a grand for a race to whatever in 9 ball (in the early 90's). Their skill was about the same so they went back and forth quite a bit. They were also two of the most mouthy players I have ever dealt with. They constantly berated each other during play, it was kind of comical to watch.
They were both past their prime by maybe 20 years although neither would ever admit that except when trying to match up of course! And they both had very exquisite, very expensive cues.

One evening they decided to lock horns. Now, you know when you have an off day playing pool, and nothing seems to go right? Well Jack was having one of those days. His game was horrible and Mel's smart remarks really had him on tilt. Even Jacks wit had failed him and all he could do was mumble under his breath.

So Mel keeps tormenting him on and off the table and Jack is down at least 5 sets that I knew of. Finally Jack could take no more. As Mel went to the bathroom laughing all the way, Jack said " I've had enough of this F'ing game" as he grabbed his cue and walked out the back door. All of the sudden we hear this loud, hollow crash. Like somebody threw a bag of trash into an empty dumpster.

Mel came back out of the bathroom and asked "Hey, Where's Jack?" Someone answered "He's out back, I think he just threw his cue away."

Mel said " No he didn't. His cue is right here."

There was a moment of silence as Jack came back in with the broken pieces of a cue. Mels cue. Jack grabbed the wrong cue by accident!

A few seconds later everyone in the room explodes with laughter, everyone except Mel of course!

 

[EasyEJL]

Thanks, but I have to decline your proposal as I'm already doing time... I mean married. This summer EasyEJL and I celebrate 18 years, in a row, without any time outs or days off for good behavior:rotflmao:.

Good luck to you! :thumbup:
Loren

How much time does the average murderer serve here in Florida? I'm wondering if I got a raw deal

 

[Cdryden]

Thanks, but I have to decline your proposal as I'm already doing time... I mean married. This summer EasyEJL and I celebrate 18 years, in a row, without any time outs or days off for good behavior:rotflmao:.

Good luck to you! :thumbup:
Loren

Hey, congrats on your MVP, and a whole lot of congrats on being married for 18 years. It seems to be getting quite rare for people around our age. My wife and I will be hitting our 15th year this year..
*scratches head* At least I think it's the 15th year!

I wish my wife enjoyed the game half as much as I do. Oh well, she's perfect in almost every other way!