The funniest thing you have ever seen in pool.

JoeyA

JoeyA

Efren's Mini-Tourn BACKER
Silver Member
I invite you to share your funniest experience or observance that you have had or seen in pool.

The one memory that always seems to surface in my mind and give me a chuckle is the one that happened at a tournament that I was doing commentary for Inside Pool Magazine several years ago.

The match was between Johnny Archer and Cary Dunn. I forget the name of the tournament director but he was a very funny guy who knew how to deliver a punch line as well as an professional comedian. I think the tournament director actually did some stand up comedy if I am not mistaken. Sorry that I forgot his name.

Anyway, Cary is having problems with the way Johnny is racking the balls and a discussion is going on between the two players. No one is angry or anything like that and both of them are trying to resolve the issue. I couldn't hear exactly what was being said between them but they were serious in their resolve to fix the problem. Finally the tournament director comes over after being requested by both of them and listens to each of their laments and the tournament director is fooling with the rack, adjusting it and preparing to rack the balls but not setting them in place, and just kind of talking between the two players who are on opposite sides of the table. This goes on for a couple of minutes. Now Johnny is probably a foot taller than Cary Dunn and both are really serious about resolving the racking issue and are talking back and forth to the tournament director non-stop (simultaneously), with each of them straining to hear what the other is saying. Finally, Cary doesn't hear what Johnny is saying to the tournament director so he asks the tournament director, "What did he say?" and the tournament director with quick wit and a non-smiling face, barks loudly into the microphone, " HE SAID YOU WERE SHORT?" Well, Johnny about come unglued and stammered back, "I DID NOT!" with Cary looking on wondering whether or not it was a joke. A raucous laughter immediately broke out from everywhere and everyone had a good laugh. It was one of my fondest memories of humor in pool.

What's yours?

JoeyA
 
A very attractive young lady ask me how to form a closed bridge. I showed her how to lock her fingers together and slide the shaft through the bridge. she places the butt of the cue on the floor, forms a bridge in the air about naval high. Lets her mouth slightly agape. proceeds to slide the shaft up and down in her closed Bridge over her ample bust directly towards her mouth.:p her friends were dying laughing I tried to keep a straight face.I told her I think you've got it, perhaps with a private lesson, you could become a great player;)
She said I don't know what they are laughing about they can't play either.
 
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We're playing 10-ball doubles and one of our opponents gets BIH. It's a difficult shot and he's placing and replacing the CB to get the line he wants. The CB is only about five inches from the OB, and he's only moving the CB an inch to the right or left.

He takes so long that his brain went dead because next time he goes to move it, he moved the OB.

He literally didn't even know he had moved the OB. We were laughing our butts off and he's like "What's so funny?"
 
Mine was a very raunchy line, delivered perfectly in our local room.

Two guys were matching up, with one, annoying rail bird who always got in other peoples games (without ever stepping up) barking. He says for the fifth time real loud, "what's the bet??" Finally, one of the players yells back "we're playing for a F%^# in the A$$. You wanna hold the bet??"

To this day the funniest answer I have ever heard to that often asked question.
 
So many - The first time I ever heard Keith exhort the cue ball to roll a little more for position, "Get your driver's license!" Or when his opponent sent the cue ball off the table, "Man overboard!" Or when he made a good break shot and watched the balls roll into position, "Take your places!" Keith had so many original lines that always cracked me up.
 
Hard to pick the funniest thing because if you were around pool rooms in the 80s and 90s a lot of crazy stuff happened.

2 funny things ( at least to me)

1- A few years back I got a couple tickets to go to a studio taping of one of the IPT challenge events. At least I think it was IPT. It was at a studio outside of Hollyweird and had a table and some bleachers that were about 2-3 rows high.
Those of us that got tickets piled in and immediately I noticed that they had hired some LA eye candy for the taping. The girls scattered around the bleachers which were only on one side and one end of the table.
Everyone was cramped and all us degenerate guys were either checking out the girls or hitting on them acting like they were explaining the game.

Game starts and I believe its Efren vs someone but I could have that way wrong. Anyway there were breaks and such during it and the guys are explaining to a girl behind me how good this was and that was and she was getting into it.
Then there was a ball beside the side pocket that might go or might not.. real close to rail.
The player drops down to shoot and EVERY player in the room knows its a safe but not the eye candy.
He plays a very simple safety hooking the next player and getting the ball in front of the side pocket..
That's when I heard a shriek and an OH MY GOD... from the hottie behind me. Bless her heart for learning and following the game so close but it was hysterical if you were there.
I think being crammed in like sardines and it being hot as hell made it funnier than it was but we laughed and it seemed to lighten the room a lot.
Thinking back I dont think it was Efren playing. Damn I cant believe I forgot the players. I know JS was there but I dont think he was playing.
 
Dothan Al somewhere around 90-91ish... Herman and Anns had action and if you were a road guy you could get played at any game including snooker.
We played with only 6 reds and probably some different rules but a foul was 7 points and you could roll out if hooked.
A canadian guy came through and he got into action with a local guy that played well but not top level.
The CA player thinned a ball and came 3 rails and froze to the back of the 5 ball which had gotten pushed up table a little bit. AL guy rolls out not leaving him on a good red but did leave the 3 railer again. CA guy hits it damned near identical locking him up on the five.
The AL guy rolls out again doing the same thing and it happens once again... locked up to the 5 ball.
AL guys turns to the gallery and says what the heck you do with that...
An old guy watching that hardly spoke at all says ... Well I'd start by moving that damn 5 ball!! ... he all laughed.
He moved the five and the CA who apparantly had a good sense of humor turned down a shot and played a 4 rail safety right behind the newly positioned 5ball... Everyone in the place had a helluva laugh..
 
frankncali said:
Hard to pick the funniest thing because if you were around pool rooms in the 80s and 90s a lot of crazy stuff happened.

2 funny things ( at least to me)

1- A few years back I got a couple tickets to go to a studio taping of one of the IPT challenge events. At least I think it was IPT. It was at a studio outside of Hollyweird and had a table and some bleachers that were about 2-3 rows high.
Those of us that got tickets piled in and immediately I noticed that they had hired some LA eye candy for the taping. The girls scattered around the bleachers which were only on one side and one end of the table.
Everyone was cramped and all us degenerate guys were either checking out the girls or hitting on them acting like they were explaining the game.

Game starts and I believe its Efren vs someone but I could have that way wrong. Anyway there were breaks and such during it and the guys are explaining to a girl behind me how good this was and that was and she was getting into it.
Then there was a ball beside the side pocket that might go or might not.. real close to rail.
The player drops down to shoot and EVERY player in the room knows its a safe but not the eye candy.
He plays a very simple safety hooking the next player and getting the ball in front of the side pocket..
That's when I heard a shriek and an OH MY GOD... from the hottie behind me. Bless her heart for learning and following the game so close but it was hysterical if you were there.
I think being crammed in like sardines and it being hot as hell made it funnier than it was but we laughed and it seemed to lighten the room a lot.
Thinking back I dont think it was Efren playing. Damn I cant believe I forgot the players. I know JS was there but I dont think he was playing.
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It was Efren. Vs a 14 ish year old Austin Murphy?

Little production studio in North Hollywood/ Studio City, iirc.

You sat in the right set of bleachers. I was next to Ernesto and Oscar Dominguez in the bleachers at the end rail.

I remember the shriek and laughs.

They also had some nice little snacks outside under some tents. Was kinda hoping Kevin was putting on the Ritz.

Kevin and Mike Siegal were smoking some fine Havanas at break though.

Think i saw John Schmidt, Max Eberle, Rodney Morris and can't remember who else.
 
1980 shot

In the 80s I was playing at a place called Hustlers. Four bar boxes with the super heavy mud ball. Despite the name nobody(including me) was any good and three ball runs were uncommon.
I was playing a super nit who called the pocket face a rail and insisted my shot was a miss and I lose my inning. He had been calling many BS rules and being 3/4s drunk on my next turn I called this shot.
I said in a somewhat angry voice " EXTREMLY,EXTREMLY,EXTREMLY complicated 3 ball in the side pocket ALL RIGHT!!!!
Was trying a thin combo with 3 balls in the chain so I fired as hard as I could and still keep the cue-ball on the table.
I missed.
The super-heavy mud ball went flying around the table knocking several balls into pockets.
My opponent said WOW that was something and started to approach the table to make his shot but the three-'after going all the way around the table- headed right for a kiss and into the called pocket. Just before the kiss I said "Yeah and there it goes.
And there it went.
He threw his house cue onto the floor, stormed out of the room, and I never saw him again.
 
A buddy and I were playing some cheap partners eight ball. I'm talking 5 dollars, beers, we never tried to raise the bet. We're in a hole in the wall bar, but the beer was cold and the band was pretty good. So far it was a good night. After a couple of hours of playing this one guy who went to the end of the line and returned a few times says "I've had enough of you two's shit, I'll be back I'm going to my truck." I looked at my buddy and we figured budweiser cue or gun. We were both wrong he needed his lucky ostrich skin boots. We never laughed so hard on the way home. Too bad the boots didn't come with some stroke.:)
 
pokeandhope said:
A buddy and I were playing some cheap partners eight ball. I'm talking 5 dollars, beers, we never tried to raise the bet. We're in a hole in the wall bar, but the beer was cold and the band was pretty good. So far it was a good night. After a couple of hours of playing this one guy who went to the end of the line and returned a few times says "I've had enough of you two's shit, I'll be back I'm going to my truck." I looked at my buddy and we figured budweiser cue or gun. We were both wrong he needed his lucky ostrich skin boots. We never laughed so hard on the way home. Too bad the boots didn't come with some stroke.:)
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Lucky Ostrich Boots! :lmao:

JoeyA
 
mowermarty said:
In the 80s I was playing at a place called Hustlers. Four bar boxes with the super heavy mud ball. Despite the name nobody(including me) was any good and three ball runs were uncommon.
I was playing a super nit who called the pocket face a rail and insisted my shot was a miss and I lose my inning. He had been calling many BS rules and being 3/4s drunk on my next turn I called this shot.
I said in a somewhat angry voice " EXTREMLY,EXTREMLY,EXTREMLY complicated 3 ball in the side pocket ALL RIGHT!!!!
Was trying a thin combo with 3 balls in the chain so I fired as hard as I could and still keep the cue-ball on the table.
I missed.
The super-heavy mud ball went flying around the table knocking several balls into pockets.
My opponent said WOW that was something and started to approach the table to make his shot but the three-'after going all the way around the table- headed right for a kiss and into the called pocket. Just before the kiss I said "Yeah and there it goes.
And there it went.
He threw his house cue onto the floor, stormed out of the room, and I never saw him again.
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Good laughs!
JoeyA
 
About ten years ago at the derby, Eric Durbin was hooking his girlfriend out for A bankroll and he never won a set all week. Finally after a week his girlfriend stands up and shouts in the middle of his match in the action room" dammit Eric when are you going to win one of these sets my mouths getting soar" and the crowd broke out in tears. Same trip one of Eric's buddies went to his girlfriends room and said he already paid Eric and got a free one. Eric later found out and thought it was funny.
 
I had something pretty funny happen today at 8ball tourney was kinda crazy too a guy broke really really hard the ball haad too fly 15ft in the air at least come smashing down hits the 8 knocks it in was pretty funny highest I've ever seen ball go it was like a pop fly in baseball but in pool hall lol everyone was running and ducking hahaha
 
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About 20 years ago I was playing some cheap 9 ball with a buddy and 2 tables over from us the room owner was in a $100/game 1pocket match. I was paying more attention to their game than mine! Anyway, there are 2 balls left and the owner is about to shoot his out ball in. It is laying about 3 inches out of his hole and about an inch off the bottom rail. The cue ball is about 18 inches away requiring a slight cut to the right to pot the object ball. While chalking his cue the owner spouts, "betcha 1000 to 1 I don't miss this one!!" His opponent stands up, pulls out his wallet, removes a $1 bill and places it on the rail. He said, "I'll take a dollar's worth of that action."
The owner stood back up, rechalked his cue, and got down to shoot. He shot the ball straight into the rail!
Without saying anything, he reached in his pocket, pulled out his bankroll, and peeled off ten 100 dollar bills!
 
Years ago at Rustys 24 hour pool hall in Arlington TX a well known TX player Dave
matched up with a road player playing 1 hole for 200 a game. They played several
hours and before it was over the whole rail was betting on the side on Dave prolly 10
or 15 guys all betting. and when it was all over the road player had won a good score.
The road player left and after about an hour the phone rang and there was this hot headed
hillbilly named Slim that was betting on the side that answered the phone the guy on the phone said let me talk to
Dave and Slim said this is Dave it was the road player and he said im at motel 6 room 108 come
on down and we can split the cash lol Slim hung up and yelled it was f ing dump it was like a caravan of cars all in a line on the way to motel 6 to get the money back
 
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terryhanna said:
Years ago at Rustys 24 hour pool hall in Arlington TX a well known TX player Dave
matched up with a road player playing 1 hole for 200 a game. They played several
hours and before it was over the whole rail was betting on the side on Dave prolly 10
or 15 guys all betting. and when it was all over the road player had won a good score.
The road player left and after about an hour the phone rang and there was this hot headed
hillbilly named Slim that was betting on the side that answered the phone the guy on the phone said let me talk to
Dave and Slim said this is Dave it was the road player and he said im at motel 6 room 108 come
on down and we can split the cash lol Slim hung up and yelled it was f ing dump it was like a caravan of cars all in a line on the way to motel 6 to get the money back
Click to expand...

Ahahahaha! That would make a great scene for a movie.

JoeyA
 
miscrewed89 said:
About 20 years ago I was playing some cheap 9 ball with a buddy and 2 tables over from us the room owner was in a $100/game 1pocket match. I was paying more attention to their game than mine! Anyway, there are 2 balls left and the owner is about to shoot his out ball in. It is laying about 3 inches out of his hole and about an inch off the bottom rail. The cue ball is about 18 inches away requiring a slight cut to the right to pot the object ball. While chalking his cue the owner spouts, "betcha 1000 to 1 I don't miss this one!!" His opponent stands up, pulls out his wallet, removes a $1 bill and places it on the rail. He said, "I'll take a dollar's worth of that action."
The owner stood back up, rechalked his cue, and got down to shoot. He shot the ball straight into the rail!
Without saying anything, he reached in his pocket, pulled out his bankroll, and peeled off ten 100 dollar bills!
Click to expand...

That is pretty sporty.

About 30 years ago, I placed the cue ball on top of the head rail at the center diamond and the object ball on the opposite side of the table on the playing surface of the foot rail and asked the owner of the Sport Palace (Louie Knott) if he would give me 50 shots to cut the object ball into the right corner pocket and he said, "NO, but I will give you one shot at 50 to 1 odds and I took the bet for a dollar and cut the object ball into the right pocket on the first shot. The cue ball went two rails and scratched in the head rail corner pocket and Louie wailed, "You scratched, no bet!" The whole pool room chided him to no avail. He wouldn't pay up. :D

JoeyA
 
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