MacGyver said:
Thanks for the spelling and technical correction, Mac.
It's been a few years since I've seen it, so I was a little rusty on the details. Glad to see there is somebody here who can truly appreciate the difficulty of it!
The Whole Joint Got Hustled
- Thread starter !Smorgass Bored
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Thanks for the spelling and technical correction, Mac.
It's been a few years since I've seen it, so I was a little rusty on the details. Glad to see there is somebody here who can truly appreciate the difficulty of it!
classic
Classic story.
Classic story.
Man that was great, thanks for bringing it back up.
When presented with these outrageous proposition bets I call to mind this great line from "Guys and Dolls" by Damon Runyon:
"One of these days in your travels a guy is going to come to you and show you a nice brand-new deck of cards on which the seal is not yet broken, and this guy is going to offer to bet you that he can make the Jack of Spades jump out of the deck and squirt cider in your ear. But son, do not bet this man, for a sure as you stand there you are going to wind up with an earful of cider.”
"One of these days in your travels a guy is going to come to you and show you a nice brand-new deck of cards on which the seal is not yet broken, and this guy is going to offer to bet you that he can make the Jack of Spades jump out of the deck and squirt cider in your ear. But son, do not bet this man, for a sure as you stand there you are going to wind up with an earful of cider.”
True story - This has to be the most unique bad beat story you will ever hear. I am playing 20-40 Hold'em one night several years ago and I'm stuck several hundred when I pick up Aces. A big pot materializes (over 800) and I take a beat on the river to lose. The very next hand I get dealt Aces again. I flop trip Aces and a monster pot develops (over 1,200) and once again I take a bad beat on the river.
I am fit to be tied and I take those Aces and fling them straight up in the air. Both cards stick in the ceiling at Hollywood Park. It's about 20" high and made of those white sound absorbent tiles. I don't even know how to throw cards but both my Aces are firmly embedded in the ceiling above us. The dealer calls the floorman (Terri) over to the table and tells her what happened. She looks up at the cards stuck in the ceiling and says, "Deal him back in when the cards come down."
Needless to say, that was my last hand of the night.
I am fit to be tied and I take those Aces and fling them straight up in the air. Both cards stick in the ceiling at Hollywood Park. It's about 20" high and made of those white sound absorbent tiles. I don't even know how to throw cards but both my Aces are firmly embedded in the ceiling above us. The dealer calls the floorman (Terri) over to the table and tells her what happened. She looks up at the cards stuck in the ceiling and says, "Deal him back in when the cards come down."
Needless to say, that was my last hand of the night.
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Doug,
I know you aren't around anymore except in the hearts of those who knew you and loved you. You were one of the most unique guys I ever met in my life and I will always remember you.
But I thought that perhaps there are some new AZBers who might like to hear one of your many, great stories.
Hope everyone enjoys it even if it is a repeat for you.
JoeyA
I know you aren't around anymore except in the hearts of those who knew you and loved you. You were one of the most unique guys I ever met in my life and I will always remember you.
But I thought that perhaps there are some new AZBers who might like to hear one of your many, great stories.
Hope everyone enjoys it even if it is a repeat for you.
JoeyA
That is an earfull of cider.
Damon Runyan wrote of Sky Materson(Titanic Thompson) when he wrote the words
Titanic could throw a playing card much further than 216 feet,I saw his son Tommy throw a card further
I threw one off the top of a Holliday Inn ,it got caught in the wind and went really far
titanic was reputed to hit the head pin,but I never witnessed it,perhaps Billy Stroud or San Jose Dick ,or jack potter could tell us more about it
There were several golf hustlers who used to freeze the card,thin ice and then throw it like a Frisbee over the club house,it would spin and sail
truly if you hang around long enough,you will see unusual things
Titanic could throw a playing card much further than 216 feet,I saw his son Tommy throw a card further
I threw one off the top of a Holliday Inn ,it got caught in the wind and went really far
titanic was reputed to hit the head pin,but I never witnessed it,perhaps Billy Stroud or San Jose Dick ,or jack potter could tell us more about it
There were several golf hustlers who used to freeze the card,thin ice and then throw it like a Frisbee over the club house,it would spin and sail
truly if you hang around long enough,you will see unusual things
Never had the pleasure of being around here when he was, but these are the kinds of stories that make this place unique. I could read stories like this all day vs. some of the threads that pop up over and over. Thanks for posting this.
thanks for bringing this thread back up :thumbup:
[Seems key that a bowling alley is oiled and very slick, once you "squat down" and release the card low, it will slide along the alley with speed, in other words, this wont work in your driveway, and you don't send the card through the air at the bowling pin]
My other favorite story about Doug was how he gambled with a guy and their names were the stakes. Doug told the story and after he passed, I called the sports bar where the story was alleged to having occurred and the manager or owner at that time confirmed the story and how no one would call the guy by his first name.
Doug had a phenomenal sense of humor. He could put in a dig on you and it would have you laughing at yourself. He was that kind of guy.
JoeyA
Doug had a phenomenal sense of humor. He could put in a dig on you and it would have you laughing at yourself. He was that kind of guy.
JoeyA
Joey:
If I remember correctly, the name that Doug won was "Bob." Hence his second moniker, "Tampa TubbyBob."
Roger
If I remember correctly, the name that Doug won was "Bob." Hence his second moniker, "Tampa TubbyBob."
Roger
That was it RogerO! The guy's name was Bob and the local patrons of the sports bar would no longer call him Bob. I'd like to meet that Bob one day just to share a laugh.
JoeyA
JoeyA
It sounds almost impossible, but while searching around the internet, I guess I have to stick with the qualifier "almost". For sure there are people who can throw cards the length of a bowling alley and MUCH farther. And for sure there are some accurate throwers. I guess it seems plausible at least. I suppose the accuracy gets somewhat easier because you don't really need the card to hit the exact spot in 3D under the pin. All you need to do is figure out the 2D trajectory once the card hits the alley and continues to slide. So its not like darts. It's more like. . . .bowling, where the ball starts in the air (3D), but quickly devolves into a 2D trajectory.
Some fun facts. . .
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Card_throwing
Some fun facts. . .
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Card_throwing
Joey thank you for bumping this thread. I've been around here a long time, but on and off for long stretches as well so I've never seen this thread. Love stuff like this.
Awesome story!!!
Bowling Alley is 60 ft. long. Really close to pitchers mound to home plate. 60 ft. 6".
Just part of some dumb trivia that makes it easy to remember.
....
Some people don't like bumping old threads. I'm glad this one was revived.
Not a bet but a true story about one of my spontaneous pranks...
When I first moved to Florida back in 92, I was still skydiving a lot. An old skydiving buddy of mine from New York called to say he was coming to Florida on vacation and wanted to make a few jumps with me while he was here.
When he got into town I met him out at the drop zone along with his cousin Joe who was tagging along. My friend Perry and I made two jumps at the end of the day and before they headed back to Orlando, we had a few beers, when his cousin Joe pipes up; skydiving doesn't look all that hard to do? I said oh really? Why don't you make a tandem jump while you're down here?
He had a few beers and I knew that's what was doing the talking. They left and planned on coming back the next day. So the following day they show back up, and Joe had this shit eating grin on his face and proceeds to tell me he signed up for a tandem jump. I said that's great! I’ll be sure to get on the same plane load and follow you out in freefall.
While he was getting his instructions I started to walk over to him at the very end, and his tandem instructor Graham was a good friend of mine. He told Joe to meet in the classroom when manifest gave the thirty minute call for load twelve, so he could get "geared up".
As Joe and I were walking away he asked me what gear he would need. So in a serious straight face I said...You'll need to be fitted for a jumpsuit, helmet, condom, harness, gloves and goggles. He hesitated for a brief moment and then asked me, what’s the condom for? I told him that Pheonix-Zhills was the first drop zone in the country to institute a "safe" skydiving policy. At that time all you heard on the news was the risk of getting aids.
I explained to him that while not all of the time, on some jumps the experience can be so intense that you might accidentally have an orgasm in free fall. The condom was to protect the tandem master from any potential accidental spillage. He said oh, I never would have realized that with a smile on his face.
Hook, sinker and line.....
I ran into the gear store and bought a gag condom off of the counter. I then went to see Graham his instructor, and explained that Joe was aware he had to wear a condom on his first tandem jump. Graham just looked at me and shook his head in disbelief, but he knew me well enough to play along. About ten minutes later the call came out and in comes Joe through the classroom door.
Graham walked over to the wall of hanging jumpsuits and sized Joe up. He then reached down into his box of goodies and handed Joe the condom. With a confused look on his face, Joe asked where he would put it on. We instructed him to go to the bathroom and when he got back we would finish putting the rest of his gear on
At this point I did a 180 turn out the door. I know sooner made it out thirty feet and I dropped to the ground in tears, laughing so hard that I couldn’t breathe. No sooner was I on the ground when a bunch of my skydiving buddies come running over to see if I was okay. After I told them what was going on, three hundred skydivers on the DZ that day knew about the condom story. Only thing left was to make the jump.
We got the call to board the plane and Joe was white as a ghost. In the plane on the ride to altitude, he had this intense look of fear and dread. His knuckles where white and I could tell he was having difficulty breathing. Finally on jump run, we made our way to the open door. He looked out and froze in the door. He literally had to be pushed out the door. I gave them a few seconds head start and then exited the plane myself. I dove down as fast as I could to catch up with them. I came face to face with Joe in free fall, not more than a foot from his face. His eyes were bulging out and I knew he was in shock. I was sticking my tongue out at him and making stupid faces at him the entire time and I know he never saw me right in front of him for at least twenty seconds of that skydive.
At break off altitude I left right before they were meant to open their parachute. I spiraled down to the ground as fast as I could so that I could me him just as soon as they landed. It turned out that Joe had hyperventilated and passed out under canopy. The landing for them was a butt slider. Joe was lying on the ground, still in shock when fifty or sixty skydivers came running over to him. When he opened his eyes, another skydiving friend of mine who was standing right over his face yelled out to Joe, well?? did you cum? Joe simply mumbled, I’m not sure!
That day Joe left the drop zone never realizing that he was the butt of my joke. Fifteen years later I still run into old skydivers who were there that day and remember Joe Grimaldo the safest skydiver in the world!
When I first moved to Florida back in 92, I was still skydiving a lot. An old skydiving buddy of mine from New York called to say he was coming to Florida on vacation and wanted to make a few jumps with me while he was here.
When he got into town I met him out at the drop zone along with his cousin Joe who was tagging along. My friend Perry and I made two jumps at the end of the day and before they headed back to Orlando, we had a few beers, when his cousin Joe pipes up; skydiving doesn't look all that hard to do? I said oh really? Why don't you make a tandem jump while you're down here?
He had a few beers and I knew that's what was doing the talking. They left and planned on coming back the next day. So the following day they show back up, and Joe had this shit eating grin on his face and proceeds to tell me he signed up for a tandem jump. I said that's great! I’ll be sure to get on the same plane load and follow you out in freefall.
While he was getting his instructions I started to walk over to him at the very end, and his tandem instructor Graham was a good friend of mine. He told Joe to meet in the classroom when manifest gave the thirty minute call for load twelve, so he could get "geared up".
As Joe and I were walking away he asked me what gear he would need. So in a serious straight face I said...You'll need to be fitted for a jumpsuit, helmet, condom, harness, gloves and goggles. He hesitated for a brief moment and then asked me, what’s the condom for? I told him that Pheonix-Zhills was the first drop zone in the country to institute a "safe" skydiving policy. At that time all you heard on the news was the risk of getting aids.
I explained to him that while not all of the time, on some jumps the experience can be so intense that you might accidentally have an orgasm in free fall. The condom was to protect the tandem master from any potential accidental spillage. He said oh, I never would have realized that with a smile on his face.
Hook, sinker and line.....
I ran into the gear store and bought a gag condom off of the counter. I then went to see Graham his instructor, and explained that Joe was aware he had to wear a condom on his first tandem jump. Graham just looked at me and shook his head in disbelief, but he knew me well enough to play along. About ten minutes later the call came out and in comes Joe through the classroom door.
Graham walked over to the wall of hanging jumpsuits and sized Joe up. He then reached down into his box of goodies and handed Joe the condom. With a confused look on his face, Joe asked where he would put it on. We instructed him to go to the bathroom and when he got back we would finish putting the rest of his gear on
At this point I did a 180 turn out the door. I know sooner made it out thirty feet and I dropped to the ground in tears, laughing so hard that I couldn’t breathe. No sooner was I on the ground when a bunch of my skydiving buddies come running over to see if I was okay. After I told them what was going on, three hundred skydivers on the DZ that day knew about the condom story. Only thing left was to make the jump.
We got the call to board the plane and Joe was white as a ghost. In the plane on the ride to altitude, he had this intense look of fear and dread. His knuckles where white and I could tell he was having difficulty breathing. Finally on jump run, we made our way to the open door. He looked out and froze in the door. He literally had to be pushed out the door. I gave them a few seconds head start and then exited the plane myself. I dove down as fast as I could to catch up with them. I came face to face with Joe in free fall, not more than a foot from his face. His eyes were bulging out and I knew he was in shock. I was sticking my tongue out at him and making stupid faces at him the entire time and I know he never saw me right in front of him for at least twenty seconds of that skydive.
At break off altitude I left right before they were meant to open their parachute. I spiraled down to the ground as fast as I could so that I could me him just as soon as they landed. It turned out that Joe had hyperventilated and passed out under canopy. The landing for them was a butt slider. Joe was lying on the ground, still in shock when fifty or sixty skydivers came running over to him. When he opened his eyes, another skydiving friend of mine who was standing right over his face yelled out to Joe, well?? did you cum? Joe simply mumbled, I’m not sure!
That day Joe left the drop zone never realizing that he was the butt of my joke. Fifteen years later I still run into old skydivers who were there that day and remember Joe Grimaldo the safest skydiver in the world!