Funny pic/gif thread...

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Dead Money said:
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Many years ago I was playing at a nearby hall, and there were these two 20-somethings at the table next to us. They were hysterical, cracking jokes and having a great time.

One of them said something to the other just as he was taking a sip of beer. Stifling his urge to laugh with a mouthful of beer and spit it out all over the place, he composed himself, swallowed, and said "Dude.....you almost made me spit out my beer!" <pause for perfect timing> "Then I remembered: it's beer!" CRACKED US UP!
 
jokrswylde said:
False! As a 20 year high school teacher, the things I deal with now vs. 1999 are night and day. I will concede that yes, kids have always been mouthy or disrespectful, but I have had to deal with more discipline issues over the last 5 years than the previous 15 combined.
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Dang man. Really got me thinking’ here…

…

Sorry ‘bout your luck. Sounds like you used to be a lot cooler.

“If you don’t eat your meat, you can’t have any pudding!”
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The Quotes of Steven Wright
(TLDR: lol)
  • I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
  • Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.
  • Half the people you know are below average.
  • 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
  • 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
  • A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
  • A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
  • If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.
  • All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.
  • The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
  • I almost had a psychic girlfriend, ..... But she left me before we met.
  • OK, so what's the speed of dark?
  • How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
  • If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
  • Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
  • When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
  • Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
  • Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.
  • I intend to live forever ... So far, so good.
  • If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
  • Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
  • What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
  • My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
  • Why do psychics have to ask you for your name
  • If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
  • A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
  • Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
  • The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
  • To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
  • The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
  • The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
  • The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
  • Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.
  • If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
  • If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
 
jokrswylde said:
False! As a 20 year high school teacher, the things I deal with now vs. 1999 are night and day. I will concede that yes, kids have always been mouthy or disrespectful, but I have had to deal with more discipline issues over the last 5 years than the previous 15 combined.
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I’m guessing you don’t teach math!
 
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