A question...

Sweet Marissa

Sweet Marissa

www.Bella-Muse.com
I am so happy with my boyfriend. We watch movies, go to museums, enjoy nice dinners, take walks... He doesn't play pool at all. Except the other day he mentioned that he wants a pool cue for Christmas. That way, he says, I can teach him.

This has not worked well in the past. I don't like to teach, don't know how to teach, and get bored playing with someone that doesn't know what they're doing. I've tried to be patient, but it's all too frustrating. And I don't want to be frustrated towards him. However, that's the inevitable scenario. Showing someone how to make a close bridge for twenty minutes while they fail is just not appealing for me. I want to break their fingers. I'd rather listen to my mp3 player and play pool in my little bubble that I create for myself. I don't talk or acknowledge anyone for the most part.

So how do I tell him I'd rather not? Or am I being selfish and unaccommodating?
 
Sweet Marissa said:
I am so happy with my boyfriend. We watch movies, go to museums, enjoy nice dinners, take walks... He doesn't play pool at all. Except the other day he mentioned that he wants a pool cue for Christmas. That way, he says, I can teach him.

This has not worked well in the past. I don't like to teach, don't know how to teach, and get bored playing with someone that doesn't know what they're doing. I've tried to be patient, but it's all too frustrating. And I don't want to be frustrated towards him. However, that's the inevitable scenario. Showing someone how to make a close bridge for twenty minutes while they fail is just not appealing for me. I want to break their fingers. I'd rather listen to my mp3 player and play pool in my little bubble that I create for myself. I don't talk or acknowledge anyone for the most part.

So how do I tell him I'd rather not? Or am I being selfish and unaccommodating?
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Not eveyone is a teacher, or enjoys teaching. Tell him the truth, and try and find him a teacher if he reaally wants to LEARN to Play Pool.:wink:
 
CocoboloCowboy said:
Not eveyone is a teacher, or enjoys teaching. Tell him the truth, and try and find him a teacher if he reaally wants to LEARN to Play Pool.:wink:
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I don't want him to, though. I'm happy with our lives without pool being an interference.
 
I'm in the same boat. My wife does not play pool either. She wants me to teach her but I am not a good teacher. I have the tendency to over simplify, thus belittling, or assume she knows more than she does, thus making her feel stupid.

My suggestion is to get some training DVD(s), let him watch it to get the basics and see if he wants to proceed with the training. Be upfront and tell him how you feel about it.
 
CocoboloCowboy said:
Not eveyone is a teacher, or enjoys teaching. Tell him the truth, and try and find him a teacher if he reaally wants to LEARN to Play Pool.:wink:
Click to expand...
Amen to that post. I had an ex-girlfriend who had absolutely no interest in pool at all and I know where you are coming from. She however had no desire to learn or to come watch me play at tournaments. Consider yourself lucky that he wants to learn. So if you don't feel comfortable teaching him, then get him some lessons with that pool cue. My 2 cents....

Joe
 
Sweet Marissa said:
I am so happy with my boyfriend. We watch movies, go to museums, enjoy nice dinners, take walks... He doesn't play pool at all. Except the other day he mentioned that he wants a pool cue for Christmas. That way, he says, I can teach him.

This has not worked well in the past. I don't like to teach, don't know how to teach, and get bored playing with someone that doesn't know what they're doing. I've tried to be patient, but it's all too frustrating. And I don't want to be frustrated towards him. However, that's the inevitable scenario. Showing someone how to make a close bridge for twenty minutes while they fail is just not appealing for me. I want to break their fingers. I'd rather listen to my mp3 player and play pool in my little bubble that I create for myself. I don't talk or acknowledge anyone for the most part.

So how do I tell him I'd rather not? Or am I being selfish and unaccommodating?
Click to expand...
If he means that much to you, and he is someone you can envision yourself with for awhile, buy him a starter cue, and offer to find him an instructor. You never know, he may show a knack for the game, and then you and he can have enjoyable playing time, rather than you paining yourself with his instruction. Whatever course you choose, be tactful, and take it from there.
 
Any time someone I'm dating wants to play me seriously, they get mad because I don't talk to them. It's not just them; I ignore whoever I'm playing completely, sans the occasional nod to acknowledge a shot being made. Thus, this wouldn't be "quality together time".

If I get him a cue, he's going to want to pursue it. He's going to want to go to the pool hall. I don't want this. I'm happy with pool not being a major interference in my relationships.
 
Sweet Marissa said:
Any time someone I'm dating wants to play me seriously, they get mad because I don't talk to them. It's not just them; I ignore whoever I'm playing completely, sans the occasional nod to acknowledge a shot being made. Thus, this wouldn't be "quality together time".

If I get him a cue, he's going to want to pursue it. He's going to want to go to the pool hall. I don't want this. I'm happy with pool not being a major interference in my relationships.
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Pool seems to have gotten in the way with my relationships, only because they don't want to play and get angry at me going to the pool hall every day. Seems our problems are reversed.

Also depends if this is a long term or short term relationship to a degree as well.

Why can't he learn with a house cue? At least it would show some initiative on his part.
 
Sweet Marissa said:
I am so happy with my boyfriend. We watch movies, go to museums, enjoy nice dinners, take walks... He doesn't play pool at all. Except the other day he mentioned that he wants a pool cue for Christmas. That way, he says, I can teach him.

This has not worked well in the past. I don't like to teach, don't know how to teach, and get bored playing with someone that doesn't know what they're doing. I've tried to be patient, but it's all too frustrating. And I don't want to be frustrated towards him. However, that's the inevitable scenario. Showing someone how to make a close bridge for twenty minutes while they fail is just not appealing for me. I want to break their fingers. I'd rather listen to my mp3 player and play pool in my little bubble that I create for myself. I don't talk or acknowledge anyone for the most part.

So how do I tell him I'd rather not? Or am I being selfish and unaccommodating?
Click to expand...


Either you are doing things to him that he's only seen in movies or he is gay. :)
 
Marissa...Why not just be HONEST with him, and tell him you have NO interest in playing pool with him...that you feel that it will compromise your relationship. It's better for him to know that now, than find it out later, when it precipitates a fight ('cause you're certainly not gonna change your mind!). :grin:

Scott Lee
www.poolknowledge.com

Sweet Marissa said:
Any time someone I'm dating wants to play me seriously, they get mad because I don't talk to them. It's not just them; I ignore whoever I'm playing completely, sans the occasional nod to acknowledge a shot being made. Thus, this wouldn't be "quality together time".

If I get him a cue, he's going to want to pursue it. He's going to want to go to the pool hall. I don't want this. I'm happy with pool not being a major interference in my relationships.
Click to expand...
 
yea i got lucky, my wife loves pool and she loves the fact that I play so much! She even plays on one of my teams for 8ball APA.

One thing Marissa, maybe he is showing interest in pool because he knows how much it means to you (maybe he doesn't care for it all all). Maybe you should tell him that he doesn't have to learn to play just because you play.

or

If you love pool so much and you really like him then you should get someone to teach him how to play so you guys will have that in common and you know that you can both play it. You see all the people on here saying "I wish my wife liked to play or whatever." If you can have that with someone then why not?
 
I'd say don't get him a cue. . .

Tell him you'll take him out a few times to see if he even likes it enough to 'need' a cue. . .

Treat him exacly the way you would anyone else and let him know that that is just how you play. . .

He will mostly likey realize that pool is not going to be any fun to play with you and your job is done.

;)
 
Honesty

Oh Marissa,I feel for you.

Honesty is the best policy. Keeping things pent up will only result in bad feelings later. Let him know how dear he is to you and the fond things you do together make the relationship what it is. You need your "time" and he needs "his". You are both individuals. That does not mean he can't go with you sometimes.

Mike and I have the same situation. Mike plays on such a high level, I'd never keep up with him. I recognize that and found other ways to support him. He usually goes out by himself but if I go, I sit and watch. I am his biggest fan. He still takes me out for one-on-one to just bang balls around and teach me a few tricks. Yes, he get frustraited but he still does it. We tease each other a lot. It's give/give. All relationship have to be giving or they don't work.

I think your boyfriend wants to accommodate you and be with you because he loves you. That is so sweet. Just be honest with him. Tell him You Need him to be your fan but you also need jell time. He should have his own interests too.
:cool:
 
Have someone else teach him. I cant even play against my fiance because its so frustrating. Once he gets a little better then itll be something you can do together. But not till he can shoot a little.
 
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