bad sportsmanship??

[jgpool]

3rd Person

OK, I'm gonna be completely honest here. I'm a player who plays with his "heart on his sleeve" so to speak. In other words, I voice my opinion, basically to myself, kinda like Jeanette Lee. Anyways, my doing so either gets people to really like me or really hate me, but I've tried to quit and just play horribly, so it's kinda like a stress reliever for me I guess. My team played a team last night which consists of some guys that don't like me cause I do this, and they say I have bad sportsmanship because of it. My question is this: If I'm the one with "bad sportsmanship", why is it I was the one willing to shake their hands before and after the matches, and say "good luck" before the match...And all I got was ignored, or snubbed off...Isn't THAT bad sportsmanship? Regardless of what happens outside of leagues, wouldn't a REAL sportsman at least wish you luck BEFORE the match? I got nothing from 3 out of 4 of em'!!!! Now, who's the bad sportsman here? Everyone who has played with me knows I talk to myself during a match...Usually complaining at myself for doing something stupid! When I'm the one willing to shake hands before, and say good game afterwards whether I win or lose, who's the BAD sportsman here? I would say its THEM, not me! I get this from a few select players in my league...1 even posts here, but I'm not naming him. So, whats the deal here? I have been told by the 1 guy on this team who I'm kinda friends with, that they don't want me on their team because of my sportsmanship...When mine is better than theirs I think! I will mention this to my "friend" today at the state tourney and see what he has to say about this...Probably nothing good, I'm sure! lol ANYONE else here voice their opinion during play? What kind of reaction did YOU get, or DO you get? I wanna discuss this so feel free to chime in with thoughts. I look forward to discussing this issue!! Jeff

I go into a conversation with a 3rd person(me) while I am focused and shooting. I have never had anyone say that I was a poor sportsman. Somehow your opponents are getting something from your style of play that they concieve as being a poor sport. If you are making comments while you are not at the table they are hearing you and probably think it is directed at interupting their concentration. If I hear someone talking while I am shooting I would not like it either. It does not matter if it is or is not intended that way. It just becomes a distration. JMO

 

[dukeboy1977]

funny

Maybe your memory is as bad as your attitude, but I remember wishing you luck before our game and congratulating you after our game.
I've held my tongue long enough...
GET A CLUE, JEFF, IT'S NOT THE REST OF THE WORLD, IT'S YOU.
Oh, by the way, how does it feel to disrespect a girl, and then have your a## handed to you?
Was that a display of your "good sportsmanship"?

You're a funny guy Tom. You never said "good luck" before the game, and gave me a limp handshake after I beat you, like you didn't want to shake my hand, so no, thats NOT a hand shake IMO. disrespect? How exactly did I disrespect Lisa? Tell me this one cause I wished HER good luck and got NO response in return there either. Yeah, she won, but she in NO WAY handed me my a##...She may have told you she did, but it didn't happen that way. I think you should get some facts before speaking about something you obviously know NOTHING about man...honestly. Maybe if you were there to see how she acted towards me that night, you wouldn't be saying this like you know for a fact...But hey, I'm wrong, right? Its cool, but you guys want to speak of "bad sportsmanship", you really ought to look at yourselves first before making any accusations...it'll work out better.

 

[dukeboy1977]

nope

I go into a conversation with a 3rd person(me) while I am focused and shooting. I have never had anyone say that I was a poor sportsman. Somehow your opponents are getting something from your style of play that they concieve as being a poor sport. If you are making comments while you are not at the table they are hearing you and probably think it is directed at interupting their concentration. If I hear someone talking while I am shooting I would not like it either. It does not matter if it is or is not intended that way. It just becomes a distration. JMO

I'm gonna say this once, and drop it. The only time I say anything, is when I'm at the table playing...Not them, so they can't blame missing a shot on me.

 

[tbone1213]

You're a funny guy Tom. You never said "good luck" before the game, and gave me a limp handshake after I beat you, like you didn't want to shake my hand, so no, thats NOT a hand shake IMO. disrespect? How exactly did I disrespect Lisa? Tell me this one cause I wished HER good luck and got NO response in return there either. Yeah, she won, but she in NO WAY handed me my a##...She may have told you she did, but it didn't happen that way. I think you should get some facts before speaking about something you obviously know NOTHING about man...honestly. Maybe if you were there to see how she acted towards me that night, you wouldn't be saying this like you know for a fact...But hey, I'm wrong, right? Its cool, but you guys want to speak of "bad sportsmanship", you really ought to look at yourselves first before making any accusations...it'll work out better.

When your own team is looking to replace you because they don't want to be associated with you, I think that speaks volumes.
And Lisa isn't the one that told me about your game with her, your teammates did.

 

[dukeboy1977]

news

When your own team is looking to replace you because they don't want to be associated with you, I think that speaks volumes.
And Lisa isn't the one that told me about your game with her, your teammates did.

well, thats news to me Tom. I get told weekly that I'm a good addition to the team...But they won't have to worry about me next year cause I'm gone. Thats not a "team" IMO

 

[Billy_Bob]

If you are talking to yourself while YOU are shooting, that is OK.

If you are talking while your opponent is shooting, that is sharking and bad. (Does not sound like you are doing this.) Best to sit in your chair and be quiet while your opponent is shooting.

Always say "Have a good match!" to your opponent before playing. And always say "Good game" or "Good match" after playing and offer to shake their hand. (No matter WHO it is and how nasty they are.) Just because they are acting like children does not mean you need to do so as well.

If you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all.

So far as other players being nasty, when you begin to win matches, people do not come up and hug - kiss you! Quite the opposite... Some people can get to be quite nasty when you win a lot.

They will accuse you of this and that. Have temper tantrums, etc.

Just ignore this. They are ticked because you won. Be humble.

You can read all about how nasty players can get in "The Black Widow's Guide to Killer Pool" by Jeanette Lee. (Last part of book.)

 

[pulzcul]

I am good friends with a big gorilla of a man in a Wyoming league that is in the exact same position as you. We are friends because I recognize his desire to compete well and win. Most other people hate to play him for two reasons. First, because they know that they will probably lose the game. Second, because he is a bad sport. People do not want him on their team even though he wins a lot. Why is that? Are people reacting to him without reason? Nope. He deserves every bit of their scorn and distain. I have taught him how to behave better, but sadly, he already burned too many bridges.

Being a great league player is more than just winning. You need to cultivate relationships with the other players.

What have you done to earn their respect? Do you ask how their families are? Do you know the names of their wives and kids? Do you give their playing ability (however good or bad) respect? Try offering your ear along with your handshake. Listen to them and respect them as people. Respect them as gamesmen struggling on the same hill you are trying to climb.

Offer something of yourself besides your ability to compete and win. Cultivate relationships by giving something of yourself. Start by shooting with various players and gently teaching them the game. God forbid that you should be friends with someone on another team!

A great league player is one that can kick your butt up between your ears, but does so in a classy manner, elevating the game to serious competition, thus making it a great experience for both players even though one player lost.

Unless you are hustling (we can discuss morality issues of that path later), you should offer your opponent respect and every opportunity to shoot their best game. Period. That means that you step away from the table, sit down, and shut up.

This will do two things for you. First, crying and whining or b*tching yourself out is a strong sign of weakness. Stop it now. You will become a better player instantly. Second, by beating your opponents when you ARE offering them the opportunity to shoot their best game – you have a clear and undiluted sense of the level you are playing at.

Mumbling to yourself while your opponent is shooting is certainly not good etiquette and could be poor sportsmanship.

You are in a position where you are confused about how people are reacting to you, but you obviously don’t know the whole story. If you act like a jackass, you will get treated like a jackass. If you offer friendship and quality competition, people will respond favorably.

Start respecting other people and cultivating relationships and behaving properly and you will discover the true value of league play and will reach new heights of enjoyment AND you will also improve your game. Take that to the bank.

Well said! I'm inspired to do the same. Don

 

[rackmsuckr]

Sometimes it's really hard to keep your emotions in check when you make a stupid shot. Of course you're only mad at yourself and say something like, "That was close!" or make a joke of it. Inside, you may be seething or disgusted with your play, but even when they get lucky and hook you when they miss or almost scratch and don't, it isn't about them, but that you are feeling the pressure of not being able to control the situation.

The biggest problem I have with expressing anger (and my husband is a prime example) is that it teaches or reinforces the behavior in others, especially up and comers that might look up to you. So there is more at stake than your reputation.

The more someone blows up at the table, the more power it gives to the opponent. You are actually showing weakness and they will attack you with a vengeance, knowing that you are not in your happy place and also that you are still stuck in the past, reviewing the bad roll or bad shot that just happened and beating yourself up over it.

Try to take yourself out of that mindset as fast as you can and you will enjoy more wins. And above all, phooey with the game if you need to leave your integrity behind...either because you sharked someone or you refuse to shake hands.