Best Lines You Ever Heard...

[sixpack]

Our own Jr. Brown is a pretty colorful player for about 30 years.

1) Coming back from a restroom break, and the other player says, 'Go ahead', Jr. looks at him sharply and says, "Did you just call me a Goathead', and finally smiles.

2) Jr gets down 3-0 in a race to 7, finally gets a shot and says, 'I'm going to
rectify this situation ....... bend over cause it's coming your way' and proceeds to put a 5 pack on the guy.

One Time Jr. Brown and I were playing on the challenge table and a guy (Cliff Joyner) comes up and puts his quarters on. I didn't know who he was. I don't think Jr. did either. Jr. beats me and Cliff is putting his quarters in. Jr. turns to me:
Jr: "He can't beat me."
me: "How do you know?"
Jr: "He has a funny looking head, nobody with a head that funny looking can beat me."

 

[JAM]

"I'll take 20 on the racker," "You've got action on the racker," "I'll take 50 on the breaker," et cetera, et cetera. Those who have been to the Super Billiards Expo and checked out the infamous "action table" will remember these standard lines. Not only do the players engage in the thrill of high-speed competition, but the railbird spectators get in on the action. It's fast and furious, and the back-and-forth colloquy gets quite loud at times.

Last year, I was sitting in the pit of the action table, with a pen and paper in hand, keeping tabs on who was next up. The list got as long as 30-plus at times, and when one player got knocked down, they immediately signed back up, sometimes with a 30-minute wait before they got another shot.

So, in my role as the list-keeper, I'd call out the name of the player who was the next "racker," and the commotion would start up all over again. Out of courtesy to the NEXT player after this racker, I'd let 'em know they were "on deck." Brandon Ashcraft was a frequent flier on the action table last year, and when it was his turn to be on deck, just like I did for the rest of them, I said, "Brandon, you're on deck."

Now, Brandon Ashcraft is a quiet kind of guy and doesn't smile much, always pretty serious when I've seen him near a pool table. He turned to me, with a very strange look on his face, and replied, "Did you just say I'm a d*ck?"

There was a long pregnant pause, and I tried to gather the right words to respond to him, not liking the way he was looking at me. Before I could speak, he immediately smiled and gave me a wink. After I realized he was only joking around, I did think it was funny!

JAM

 

[justharv]

During the finals of the IPT Championship in Orlando, Siegel has just lost the first set 8-0 to Efren and has not returned from a break between sets. Steve Mizerak gets introduced to a standing ovation, and afterwards the announcer lets everyone no that we are waiting on Mike to return to resume the action. The Miz immediately responds, “He’s at the airport”.

 

[Cardinal2B]

Air time

During the finals of the IPT Championship in Orlando, Siegel has just lost the first set 8-0 to Efren and has not returned from a break between sets. Steve Mizerak gets introduced to a standing ovation, and afterwards the announcer lets everyone no that we are waiting on Mike to return to resume the action. The Miz immediately responds, “He’s at the airport”.

Well, it might be like Alex Karras who had only 2 good lines, lifetime:
"For a lineman, I was small.....but slow."
"There's Otis Sistrunk, from the University of Mars"
But, Miz' line there is great. Put him in the booth I say!

 

[X Breaker]

"I'll take 20 on the racker," "You've got action on the racker," "I'll take 50 on the breaker," et cetera, et cetera. Those who have been to the Super Billiards Expo and checked out the infamous "action table" will remember these standard lines. Not only do the players engage in the thrill of high-speed competition, but the railbird spectators get in on the action. It's fast and furious, and the back-and-forth colloquy gets quite loud at times.

Last year, I was sitting in the pit of the action table, with a pen and paper in hand, keeping tabs on who was next up. The list got as long as 30-plus at times, and when one player got knocked down, they immediately signed back up, sometimes with a 30-minute wait before they got another shot.

So, in my role as the list-keeper, I'd call out the name of the player who was the next "racker," and the commotion would start up all over again. Out of courtesy to the NEXT player after this racker, I'd let 'em know they were "on deck." Brandon Ashcraft was a frequent flier on the action table last year, and when it was his turn to be on deck, just like I did for the rest of them, I said, "Brandon, you're on deck."

Now, Brandon Ashcraft is a quiet kind of guy and doesn't smile much, always pretty serious when I've seen him near a pool table. He turned to me, with a very strange look on his face, and replied, "Did you just say I'm a d*ck?"

There was a long pregnant pause, and I tried to gather the right words to respond to him, not liking the way he was looking at me. Before I could speak, he immediately smiled and gave me a wink. After I realized he was only joking around, I did think it was funny!

JAM

Very funny story! Thank you.

Richard

 

[Banker Burt]

McCready...

I don't think Keith will mind me sharing this one. Actually I hope you remember and enjoy it.

Again, back to the late 70's at The Jointed Cue. Terry Stonier was the only promoter on the west coast (back then), that actually had the best interest of the top pool players in mind. It also did serve him and his family pool room well.

I remember the night well, another Friday night before the big weekend tournament. All of the top players were in the back room including Richy Florence, Louie Robert, Mataya, Rempe, Wimpy you name it and they were there.

In walks this kid, tattered levis, ty-die shirt and full of vim & vinegar.
Keith walks into the room as if it were a room full of nobodies.

Keith says, "Anyone in the room can have the 8!"

To much our surprise (locals that is) sheer silence fell across the room. As Keith gazed across the room with that interesting look he can put on, not a single player stepped up.

Keith closed with, "That's what I thought."

I am sure he did eventually get some action that weekend, and I if i remember correctly he also won the tournament that year (Not sure, maybe Keith could elaborate). In any case, it shows the heart of a champion and what it means to be fearless. I have never seen Keith show otherwise.

 

[JAM]

I don't think Keith will mind me sharing this one. Actually I hope you remember and enjoy it.

Again, back to the late 70's at The Jointed Cue. Terry Stonier was the only promoter on the west coast (back then), that actually had the best interest of the top pool players in mind. It also did serve him and his family pool room well.

I remember the night well, another Friday night before the big weekend tournament. All of the top players were in the back room including Richy Florence, Louie Robert, Mataya, Rempe, Wimpy you name it and they were there.

In walks this kid, tattered levis, ty-die shirt and full of vim & vinegar.
Keith walks into the room as if it were a room full of nobodies.

Keith says, "Anyone in the room can have the 8!"

To much our surprise (locals that is) sheer silence fell across the room. As Keith gazed across the room with that interesting look he can put on, not a single player stepped up.

Keith closed with, "That's what I thought."

I am sure he did eventually get some action that weekend, and I if i remember correctly he also won the tournament that year (Not sure, maybe Keith could elaborate). In any case, it shows the heart of a champion and what it means to be fearless. I have never seen Keith show otherwise.

That sounds like Keith! (LOL)

This past weekend, we were talking with a friend about the upcoming Turning Stone Casino Joss Tour event. Keith loves the Turning Stone Casino, not only because of the pool, but he really enjoys the table games, craps to be exact!

Each of the two times we have visited the Turning Stone Casino, he came away not only a winner, but he made "friends" with the pit bosses, due to his excellent dice-throwing capabilities. It's kind of funny how the pit bosses like you when you're a winner, but if you're stuck, they don't give you the time of day.

He said this year when he walks into the Turning Stone Casino, he is going to make an annoucement, directing it to the pit bosses: "Elvis has just entered the building." Actually, the pit bosses there do like Keith's style when he's throwing the dice. He definitely put on a show when he was winning and had all the numbers lit up. I think the pit bosses will enjoy a good chuckle!

JAM

 

[rackem]

JAM there are some guys over on socalpooltalk that don,t understand about Keiths unorthodox sidewinder style. Could you post a picture for them. Thanks

 

[jnav447]

Kid from Ohio comes in the room, plays a couple matches, hittin' 'em good. Matches up later and can't run 3 balls, really struggling. He looks over at his backer and says: "D'ya know where the "on" switch is for a Southwest?"

I was at one of the Stardust tournements in Vegas in the early 70's watching Cornbread Red pump a borrowed few dollars into 40,000 at the craps table. One of the railbirds asked Red if he was gonna retire from pool and just play craps. Red smiled and said: "I just might. Here, they just smile and hand ya the money. Hell, when you shoot pool, they shoot back".

I was on the road with a player named Tommy Green down in Texas. We were doing good til we hit Waco. Tommy got broke against this spanish guy, says: "Man, I never lost any money to a Mexican before. You guys usually dog it for the cash". The other guy says: "Man, I never won any money off a redneck before. You guys usually go to the pisser and sneak out the back door". Tommy and I had to laugh, the guy gave us gas money to get back to Lubbock, and, after that, Tommy always said the Alamo was in Waco, not San Antone.

 

[bobson_215]

.

"I got lucky" - Efren Reyes

 

[JAM]

JAM there are some guys over on socalpooltalk that don,t understand about Keiths unorthodox sidewinder style. Could you post a picture for them. Thanks

There are some players who do seem to have an "unorthodox" style of play. Keith does hold his cue out from his body, resulting in the side-winding style. I think Irving Crane used to shoot like that, too.

Allen Hopkins has a very unique shooting style in that he kind of short-strokes the ball.

A player who used to shoot from my area named Scottie Boggs had a distinctive way he held his cue stick, kind of like with his wrist turned inward towards his body, kind of the opposite of Keith's, and this worked for him.

The way I was taught to stroke the ball was taught to me by the late Michael "Geese" Gerace. He would stroke the ball three times before firing -- one, two, three, shoot -- and this did work for Geese quite effectively, one of the PRETTIEST strokes that I have always admired.

Some players do what comes natural, and though it works for them, it may not be effective for somebody else.

Here's a snapshot of Keith side-winding.

JAM

 

[sjm]

Again, back to the late 70's at The Jointed Cue.

Keith says, "Anyone in the room can have the 8!"

Given the way Keith was playing back then, that's the equivalent of Mike Tyson in his prime offering someone the first punch in a boxing match! Whether it's pool or boxing, there aren't many who like to take a beating.

 

[DUOBIS]

It Was At The Northern Lights Shootout At The Northern Lights Casino In Western Canada I Believe. Alex P Is Playing Cliff Thourburn, Alex Is Up Something Like 9-0 In A Race To 11, The First Moment Of Silence Cliff Says To Alex "by The Way, How Does The Table Play".

 

[frankwhite]

The Dice Duo

That's correct Jam, we are not going to hurt them this year,

we are going to "BREAK'UM", if these two little fingers do the walking

like last year they better start making more "BLACK" chips.

See ya in Maidoffs room

Frankie........

 

[supergreenman]

heard this one the other night, it was a joke after a guy missed his shot.

Guy: I just put a new tip on my cue, can I try that shot again?

 

[X Breaker]

One time, a player from out of town asked a local player to play even for a bit of cash and the local player said no, the guy asked again a bit later but his offer was again refused.

They were both sitting there looking at each other as there was no other action in the room.

The local guy thought for a bit and then finally said, "Okay, I will play you but only if you let me spot you the wild 6 up!"

Richard

 

[Dana Bufalo]

Larry "Boston Shorty" Johnson finally got the 7-Ball

I recall sweating some of Larry "Boston Shorty" Johnson's one pocket action in the early 1980s. After he made a little mistake, giving his opponent a run out chance, he said to his opponent "Don't let me back to the table, or I'll shoot you right between the eyes." His opponent, somewhat rattled by this comment, missed the very first shot.

Boston Shorty was a colorful sort, wasn't he?

Back in the mid 1990's I was at the Cue & Brew in Branford, CT and a young, talented Frankie Hernandez was woofing at a surely past his prime Boston Shorty trying to get him to play.., Frankie kept offering Shorty the 8 but Shorty just sat there and would not even look up, he'd just say "Nope".., finally, a frustrated Frankie shouted, "OK!!, you got the 7-ball.., c'mon, let's go!!.., you got the 7-ball!!"..., Shorty looked up at Frankie, paused and said, "I waited all my life for the 7-Ball.., get the balls kid!"

Not long after they started, Frankie realized he was getting robbed and wanted to "adjust" the spot.., but Shorty said,"Nope".

 

[JG-in-KY]

At the derby tourney a couple of years ago, former great and high roller "Pretty Boy Floyd" was wolfing it up, big time. Trying to get a game with Tony from california he said, "carry some cash, it ain't heavy".

 

[suprnva]

This isn't great, but I thought it was pretty funny.

One of my buddies is considered one of the best, if not THE best player, in the state of WI, and he proves it over and over again. One weekend he's playing in an 8-ball tourney. It's a race to four and so far he broke and ran the first three racks. He gets up to break the fourth rack, looks at the person he's playing and says, "I'm bored, I think I'm gonna run this rack in order." He then proceeds to break the rack, make a stripe, and run the solids in order to win the match. The guy he was playing just sat there speechless.

 

[Donovan]

Player A is putting on a safety frenzy display and beats Player B fourteen in a row in 9-ball, winner breaks. Player B finally wins a game and starts pulling out his break cue and putting it together.

Player A: "What' that?"

Player B: "My break cue."

Player A: "What's that for?"

Player B: "For breaking, what else?"

Player A: "Oh, In your bag I thought it was just for looks."