Best Lines You Ever Heard...

mosconiac said:
I believe Grady tells that story on one of his tapes. Can't remember who the "victim" was.
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You know, now that I think about it, that story was told before you and I were even a dribble on a leg!:rolleyes:


David Harcrow
 
Johnny Archer

Johnny Archer is playing in a 14.1 mini tournament at DCC. A spectator keeps making comments every time Johnny shoots,"I wonder why he played it that way"," I wonder why he didn't go this way". Finally after this goes on for a while, without missing a beat, Johnny says "mabye not everybody plays as good as you do".
 
"If I was gonna play safe that is EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! where I would put the cue ball... Nice Shot!!!!!!!!!!!!" (8ball)
 
what do I need?????


I need you to find a comfortable chair .....
and put your money on the light...
 
From Winning One Pocket - Jersey Red is playing someone and the opponent calls a foul for a nudged ball. Red protests and says the rule is to put the ball back with no penalty. The opponent disagrees so Red asks him if he is really going to insist that touching balls is a foul and the opponent says yes. So Red sweeps all the balls to his hole and says, "I owe two".
 
A lot of times when I miss a flyer I will say "I saw that shot on TV and it didn't go then either"

Or when I double kiss a shot I will say, "It's a time shot.......next time".
 
My friend started to play pool recently. I told her "You have to learn to draw the cue ball". My other friend says: She can draw a cue ball, give her a pen. :p
 
To Know Him Was To Love Him.... imo

I've told this before, but there's a whole new group here now.

About 20 years ago, I was spending quite a bit of time with one pocket great Steve Cook. It helps to know what a low key, quiet, unassuming, non-confrontational individual Steve Cook was (he's deceased now).

I asked Steve if he would help me with my game if I paid him with real cash money. He thought and thought and finally said NO.

I was dumbstruck. We'd been friends for awhile and I couldn't believe that he'd turned me down flat. I said angrily, "why WON'T you teach me some things to improve my game ?"

Steve softly said, "because you can't teach an old Doug new tricks."

Doug
(I still smile everytime that I think of this exchange) :)
 
Bar

John walks into a bar, asks, "anyone" wanna fight? A guy in the back says "yeah I do", John then says "ok, then I'm leaving".:smile:
 
"Well, it does hurt a bit" - running 44 with 3 broken vertabras 10 days after the accident :speechless:
 
JB Cases said:
From Winning One Pocket - Jersey Red is playing someone and the opponent calls a foul for a nudged ball. Red protests and says the rule is to put the ball back with no penalty. The opponent disagrees so Red asks him if he is really going to insist that touching balls is a foul and the opponent says yes. So Red sweeps all the balls to his hole and says, "I owe two".
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Freddy the Beard tells this story and Freddy is a beautiful story teller.
 
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