Got any good stories, but they have to be true. 
Funnies/Sadist thing you ever say in a Pool Room
- Thread starter CocoboloCowboy
- Start date
I once brought my donkey to a pool hall.
The owner complained.
I told him to kiss my @$$.
The owner complained.
I told him to kiss my @$$.
PLEASE Don't Throw Me In That Briar Patch, Br'er Bear
"Funnies/Sadist thing you ever say in a Pool Room"
I say, "give me those Sunday funnies and I'll beat you with a whip."
Doug
( and walk on you with my spiked heels )
*Sadist:
1. sexual gratification gained through causing pain or degradation to others.
2. any enjoyment in being cruel.
3. extreme cruelty.
Saddest:
Affected or characterized by sorrow or unhappiness.
Expressive of sorrow or unhappiness.
Causing sorrow or gloom; depressing: a sad movie; sad news.
Deplorable; sorry: a sad state of affairs; a sad excuse.
Dark-hued; somber.
.
"Funnies/Sadist thing you ever say in a Pool Room"
I say, "give me those Sunday funnies and I'll beat you with a whip."
Doug
( and walk on you with my spiked heels )
*Sadist:
1. sexual gratification gained through causing pain or degradation to others.
2. any enjoyment in being cruel.
3. extreme cruelty.
Saddest:
Affected or characterized by sorrow or unhappiness.
Expressive of sorrow or unhappiness.
Causing sorrow or gloom; depressing: a sad movie; sad news.
Deplorable; sorry: a sad state of affairs; a sad excuse.
Dark-hued; somber.
.
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This one is just ok. It's like one of those "here's your sign" deals. A friend of mine and I went to play Snooker at the local Snooker club, he had a one piece cue in a long thin one piece box case. We entered the club and someone looked at it and said "Is that your cue" My friend did not miss a beat and said "no my snake died today and we are off to bury it" Here's your sign. I think you may have had to be thereCocoboloCowboy said:Got any good stories, but they have to be true.
Pool hall is about 5000 sq ft. I'm at the front by the bar. I hear a scuffle and see the owner grab a guy in a headlock from the far end to all the way to the front to the top of the stairs. Owner says don't come back, the guy says I'm gonna kill you. Owner then punches him and kicks him in his face while he's on the floor. Maybe this isn't funny or sad, but I thought it was hysterical.
Here are a few of my favorites. We had this really awesome player in Oklahoma City named Eddie Carver and he had two nick names the standard "Fast Eddie" and the more appropriate "Crazy Eddie". He had a powerful stroke and could really play jam up for small dollars, he tended to struggle against the champions. But it was pretty normal for him to spot a B+ player the 7 and 8 and win 20 or 30 games at 10.00 a game. He would often put together 5+ packages and I personally watched him run over 200 in straight pool.
I have two favorites involving him in the late 1980's.
1. He is playing a set on a Saturday afternoon and cursing loudly whenever he misses or gets a perceived "bad roll". The place was Called Starbucks (Not the Coffee company) and they had quite a few video games, this lady was in there with about four kids between 8 and 12 and she yells back to Eddie and says "Sir, could you please quit cursing, this is a gameroom for kids and that is inappropriate" Eddie turns around and look her square in the eye and says "LADY, THIS AIN'T A GAME ROOM IT IS A FUC#$NG POOL HALL AND IF YOU CANNOT STAND THE GODD$MN MOTHER FUC#$NG CURSING GET THE HELL OUT" She proceeded to gathter the children and left.
2. Eddie is on the hill in a race and makes an incredible backward cut on the eight and cue ball is running around the table for perfect four rail shape on the nine in the side it is creeping ever so slowly toward the side and he shouts, "You better not scracth you miserable mother fuc#er" as the cue ball barely falls into the side he jams his cue into the pocket and breaks the shaft. He throws the broken piece across the pool room and proceeds to walk to his case for another shaft he replaces the remaing part of the old shaft with a new one and starts to walk to the foot of the table to rack. When he passes near the side pocket where he scratched he mumbles something and then takes a big step back toward the pocket and jams the other shaft into the pocket and breaks it and heaves the butt across the room. I rescue the butt and ask him if he wants it says hell no, so I have a shaft made for the cue and sell it for 500.00.
I have two favorites involving him in the late 1980's.
1. He is playing a set on a Saturday afternoon and cursing loudly whenever he misses or gets a perceived "bad roll". The place was Called Starbucks (Not the Coffee company) and they had quite a few video games, this lady was in there with about four kids between 8 and 12 and she yells back to Eddie and says "Sir, could you please quit cursing, this is a gameroom for kids and that is inappropriate" Eddie turns around and look her square in the eye and says "LADY, THIS AIN'T A GAME ROOM IT IS A FUC#$NG POOL HALL AND IF YOU CANNOT STAND THE GODD$MN MOTHER FUC#$NG CURSING GET THE HELL OUT" She proceeded to gathter the children and left.
2. Eddie is on the hill in a race and makes an incredible backward cut on the eight and cue ball is running around the table for perfect four rail shape on the nine in the side it is creeping ever so slowly toward the side and he shouts, "You better not scracth you miserable mother fuc#er" as the cue ball barely falls into the side he jams his cue into the pocket and breaks the shaft. He throws the broken piece across the pool room and proceeds to walk to his case for another shaft he replaces the remaing part of the old shaft with a new one and starts to walk to the foot of the table to rack. When he passes near the side pocket where he scratched he mumbles something and then takes a big step back toward the pocket and jams the other shaft into the pocket and breaks it and heaves the butt across the room. I rescue the butt and ask him if he wants it says hell no, so I have a shaft made for the cue and sell it for 500.00.
Tszyu said:
Your interpretation of "hysterical" is what made me bust a gut.
We've seen a few hot-headed reactions to bad games and bad shots, over the years. We have always had a family pact that if we ever get mad enough to destroy a pool cue, we'll always "think 'house cue'."
Now, we have a table at home.
It's a good thing none of us gets really angry, when playing pool.
Now, we have a table at home.
It's a good thing none of us gets really angry, when playing pool.
Secaucus Fats
Banned
The funniest sadist thing at the pool hall was when this masochist was begging his dominatrix to beat and cane him, to which she replied, "No I won't." 
Fats
Fats
CocoboloCowboy said:Got any good stories, but they have to be true.
The title of this thread is:
"Funnies/Sadist thing you ever say in a Pool Room"
Did you mean "Saddest" or "Sadist"?
And, did you mean "say" or "saw"? Let me give you an excuse, in case you need it....
You did that on purpose, to see how everyone would interpret your words... right?
saddest thing I've ever seen in a poolroom, was the 2nd week in Dec. during league. Thursday night, the place was PACKED, and I saw 3 babies under a year old in the poolhall. Mind you, this was before the statewide smoking ban. I wanted to smack all 3 girls upside their head....
Sad, and completely MADDENING!
Sad, and completely MADDENING!
Last week in our community room, I get there one morning about 930 am. Staff is looking down like there is something happening at one end of the room I can not see. I did notice before entering the building Fire/Para/Rescue was there. Well apparently some guy had collapsed, and was having a Heart Attack. Men's Club was not bothered by the Paramedic working on their member, and continue practicing for the morning tournament like nothing out of the norm was happening. Guy who went out on a gurney later in the day returned after being check out at the hospital as he was concerned who had his cue, and he was ok. No Heart attack.
CocoboloCowboy said:Last week in our community room, I get there one morning about 930 am. Staff is looking down like there is something happening at one end of the room I can not see. I did notice before entering the building Fire/Para/Rescue was there. Well apparently some guy had collapsed, and was having a Heart Attack. Men's Club was not bothered by the Paramedic working on their member, and continue practicing for the morning tournament like nothing out of the norm was happening. Guy who went out on a gurney later in the day returned after being check out at the hospital as he was concerned who had his cue, and he was ok. No Heart attack.
And hustlers are called HARD CORE
Jack Madden said:And hustlers are called HARD CORE
Nah it is just no big deal to the old boys, as everything they hear an ambulance. The joke is another home going up for sale...
I Should Have Just Watched The Ronnie Allen vs Danny Diliberto Tape (again)
Yeah, and did he mean 'funnies' or 'funniest' ? The funnies are in the newspaper.
My reply above was based on "funnies", "sadist" and "SAY."
If he'd written, "Funniest/saddest thing you ever SAW in a Pool Room", I'd have probably just skipped over his post as I have done for years. I guess that I'll just put PoolSleuth/Cocobolo Cowboy back on Ignore where he belongs.
Doug
( I'll punch a few holes in the jar lid, so that he may breathe )
JesPiddlin said:The title of this thread is:
"Funnies/Sadist thing you ever say in a Pool Room"
Did you mean "Saddest" or "Sadist"?
Let me give you an excuse, in case you need it....
You did that on purpose, to see how everyone would interpret your words... right?
Yeah, and did he mean 'funnies' or 'funniest' ? The funnies are in the newspaper.
My reply above was based on "funnies", "sadist" and "SAY."
If he'd written, "Funniest/saddest thing you ever SAW in a Pool Room", I'd have probably just skipped over his post as I have done for years. I guess that I'll just put PoolSleuth/Cocobolo Cowboy back on Ignore where he belongs.
Doug
( I'll punch a few holes in the jar lid, so that he may breathe )