Funniest thing you have heard a league player say

Charlie Hustle

Charlie Hustle

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
Last night a friend of mine was subbing on a BCA 3 man league team. My friend plays pretty good, and his opponent at the time could prob run about 3-4 balls on a good night. Anyway, once they were finished playing (my friend won by the way) the guy told him "You play pretty good, are you one of the main players here?" My friend modestly said "No, not really". Then the guy tells him, "You must be, you just beat me." :D I laughed my ass off.
 
One guy in our league was complaining about his play and asked a much better player what he should do to correct his game. The other guy told him to take 2 weeks off then quit. :D :D :D

Dean:D
 
I heard an APA player say one night that some nights he could play as well as "Johnny Mosconi"...I just shook my head and said "really?"

Southpaw
 
Southpaw said:
I heard an APA player say one night that some nights he could play as well as "Johnny Mosconi"...I just shook my head and said "really?"

Southpaw
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That was pretty good :)
 
APA Singles Regional tournament. I was on the hill up one maybe two matches away from winning the trip. I had two balls left, one ball on the side rail long, and one ball near the jar opposite end. He had two clustered in and around the eight on the same rail as one of mine which was on the other side of the side pocket. I kept safing him and he kept stabbing at the bank and missing. I must have safed him 5-6 times in a row with ball in hand. It was one of those weird situations that he kept trying to do the wrong thing unsuccessfully. Finally he broke up the cluster, gave me ball in hand, and I had an easy one two three out to move forward.

During the handshake he said, "Where I come from, we don't play like that"

I said "Thanks", knowing he had at least a five hour drive home to another state.

Okay, maybe I have a sick sense of humor. :D

I won the trip later that day and got my butt whooped in Vegas two and out and ended up playing $3 Blackjack (not the poster) at Circus Circus till my flight took me home. I think the total commute from Vegas was about five hours.

Hmmm. :D
 
Da Poet, Ive read somewhere on here when an opponent tells you "We dont play like that around here" you fire back "Thats why you didnt win"
 
Charlie Hustle said:
Da Poet, Ive read somewhere on here when an opponent tells you "We dont play like that around here" you fire back "Thats why you didnt win"
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I prefer to be polite. :D

I'm sure that's exactly what he was thinking on the drive home, sorry dude.
 
You'll get a chuckle out of this one.

A girl in the APA league took some lessons from a top players and finally got to where she could draw the cue ball a little. This lady plays league three or four times a week.

After two or three weeks her instructor asked how she was doing with the draw shot, she replied " it hasn't come up yet "
 
About 8 years ago in APA league this dude from the other team that I had beaten walks over to me and it went a little something like this:

Dude: I have a really good friend of mine that I bet you can't beat.
Me: Sounds good. I love a challenge.
Dude: You probably heard of her.
Me: Yeah? Where does she play out of?
Dude: On T.V.
Me: (sigh) What's your friend's name?
Dude: The Black Spider
 
I was subbing for my cousin's team a couple years ago. I wasn't playing at the time, but my cousin was. Anywho, his opponent gets ready to shoot and calls the corner pocket. He shoots and another, obviously not the ball intended, goes into the corner pocket. The guy starts to line up his next shot. I say, "hold on now, that wasn't the ball you intended to go into the pocket". He says, "we're playing 'call your pocket', doesn't matter what ball goes into the pocket, as long as you call the pocket, any ball can go in that pocket and I get to shoot again".

Isn't that a hoot?
 
dabarbr said:
You'll get a chuckle out of this one.

A girl in the APA league took some lessons from a top players and finally got to where she could draw the cue ball a little. This lady plays league three or four times a week.

After two or three weeks her instructor asked how she was doing with the draw shot, she replied " it hasn't come up yet "
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Another classic line from the memory banks of The Barber! :)
 
Southpaw said:
I heard an APA player say one night that some nights he could play as well as "Johnny Mosconi"...I just shook my head and said "really?"

Southpaw
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ROFL!! What a goofball! I would have called him out just to make him look bad.

I've never had anyone talk smack in league play yet, just morons at the bar that think they are unbeatable because they can make a few balls on a barbox. I'd love to play them on a 9 footer, cuz they cant hang on a barbox. I learned at a young age not to talk smack, cuz I had a few beat my ass like I was nothing and humbled me. Me and my brother will talk smack, and me and my best friend and thats about as far as I go.
 
Not in league play but still in stride with the thread.

I was watching a match one night between a Japanese guy and a Canadian. The Japanese guy was breaking and when he made his final stroke he totally missed his timing, hit the farthest from center you possibly can without miscuing, and the cue ball slowly rolled down and just barely opened the rack up. The Canadian guy says "Hit it with your purse next time, Sally". I was almost in tears.
MULLY
 
Now i know this isnt as funny as some others but i was sitting around the bar one night where we play APA and i was listening in on a conversation about pro pool. I started chuckling about the goings on a little too loudly i guess and was quickly asked who some of my favorite players were. So i responded Ralf Souquet, Johnny Archer, and John Schmidt.

The leader of their little rag tag group looked at me dead serious and said and i quote " I dont like watching archer or souquet play theyr'e too darn technical taking forever to line up their shots like that position is for sissies."

I swear on a stack of bibles, i guess you should put me in a dress and call me susan then lol.
 
Overheard from a spectator at a WPBA tourney several years ago.
"I feel sorry for The Black Widow. You know her husband died."
 
there is a famous league player.....his name is Jay Helfert, I remember one time he said "No Fatboy I cant stand it anymore.....I gotta feed my family....please stop robbbing me" he continued...."I had KK and shoved it all in 3 times and lost every time and now your kicking me when I'm down to my last dollar-your the greatest ever, man nobody, not even Ralph Greanleif beat me this bad back in 1926, will you let me off for half? if I put your name in my book i'm never gonna finish"

Well he is right and it is ALL true, its not funny but this seemed like the best time to inform the worlds largest group of rail birds. :) It hurt me to bust him, but I needed the $$$ to play Tooth some keno.
 
Fatboy said:
there is a famous league player.....his name is Jay Helfert, I remember one time he said "No Fatboy I cant stand it anymore.....I gotta feed my family....please stop robbbing me" he continued...."I had KK and shoved it all in 3 times and lost every time and now your kicking me when I'm down to my last dollar-your the greatest ever, man nobody, not even Ralph Greanleif beat me this bad back in 1926, will you let me off for half? if I put your name in my book i'm never gonna finish"

Well he is right and it is ALL true, its not funny but this seemed like the best time to inform the worlds largest group of rail birds. :) It hurt me to bust him, but I needed the $$$ to play Tooth some keno.
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I WANT A REMATCH!
 
the league player was me....little set-up - city championship for APA team 8 ball last year (which we won for the trip to Vegas).

I dogged the 8 ball in the 3rd game of the 3rd match of a long day (still won the match 3-2; I was a 4 in the tourney last year).

APA teammate - WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?!
me - uh, I missed the 8ball
APA teammate - I SAW!
me - hey, I got teetimes this morning for next Sat., and had to be at the course at 4:45 AM (it was around 11ish PM at the time).
APA teammate - AND?
me - sheesh, I'll still win this one sweetheart (as I winked at him)....and by the way, did I mention that I shot 68 this morning??? (I couldn't shut up about it ALL DAY)
APA teammate - you didn't do that by missing "tap-ins", so, try not to do it on the POOL TABLE either.

BTW, this is while I'm racking for the next game, and everyone could hear us....pretty funny (at least to me). :)
 
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