Funny pic/gif thread...

SHIPWRECKED
>
>
>
> A man was washed up on a beach after a
terrible shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed
up with him. After looking around, he realized that they
were stranded on a deserted island.
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>
>
> After being there awhile, he got into the
habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach
every evening to watch the sunset.
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>
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> One particular evening, the sky was a fiery
red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and
gentle - a perfect night for romance.
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>
>
> As they sat there, the sheep started looking
better and better to the lonely man. Soon, he leaned over
to the sheep and put his arm around it.
>
>
>
> But the sheepdog, ever protective of the
sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from
around the sheep.
>
>
>
> After that, the three of them continued to
enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling.
>
>
>
> A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold,
there was another shipwreck.
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>
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> The only survivor was Hillary Clinton.
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>
>
> That evening, the man brought Hillary to the
evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening -
red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze - perfect
for a night of romance. Pretty soon, the man started to get
'those feelings' again..
>
>
>
> He fought the urges as long as he could but he
finally gave in and leaned over to Hillary and told her he
hadn't had sex for months. Hillary batted her eyelashes
and asked if there was anything she could do for him.
>
>
>
> He said, 'Would you mind taking the dog
for a walk?'
 
Dear Abby...

Dear Abby,

I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what could be a crucial decision. I've suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me.

The usual signs... phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them."

I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always walks down the drive. Although I can hear a car driving off, as if she has gotten out of the car round the corner. Why? Maybe she wasn't in a taxi? I once picked her cell phone up just to see what time it was and she went berserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her.

Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her.

I decided I was going to park my Harley Davidson motorcycle next to the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole street when she came home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my Harley, that I noticed that the valve covers on my engine seemed to be leaking a little oil.

Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the dealer?

Thanks,
Bob
 
I'm A Barbie Girl, In A Barbie World ...

One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday.

He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, "How much for one of those Barbies in the display window?"

The salesperson answers, "Which one do you mean, Sir?

We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina Barbie for $19.95, Astronaut Barbie for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.95."

The amazed father asks: 'It's how much?! Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?'

The annoyed salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers:

'Sir..., Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer, and one of Ken's Friends...
 
A foursome of guys is waiting at the men's tee, while another
foursome of women is hitting from the ladies' tees. The ladies are
taking their time.


When the final lady is ready to hit her ball, she hacks it ten feet.

She goes over and whiffs it completely. Then, she hacks it another ten
feet, and finally hacks it another five feet.


She looks up at the patiently waiting men and says
apologetically, 'I guess all those f---ing lessons I took over the winter
didn't help.


One of the men immediately responds, 'Well, there you have it...
you should have taken golf lessons instead!'




He never even had a chance to duck.
 
American Medical Association researchers have made a remarkable discovery.

It seems that some patients needing blood transfusions may benefit from receiving chicken blood rather than human blood.

It tends to make the men cocky and the women lay better.

Just thought you'd like to know!:D
 
humanskateboard.gif
 
My Contribution.... :)

That dam brokeback movie ruined everything for cowboys.....

They can no longer use the following trademarked and coined phrases....

brokebackhz8.png
 
Now that should be posted on the main forum. Your avatar does indeed say a lot about you -- choose wisely.

Oh, and for what its worth, psychologists have known for a long time that the types of humor you prefer also says a lot about you. There are basically three kinds:

sadistic

black humor ( rather laugh than cry)

and you get to figure out the third.
 
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