Funny pic/gif thread...

Odd WWII facts

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> You might enjoy this from Col D. G. Swinford, USMC, Ret and history
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> buff. You would really have to dig deep to get this kind of ringside
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> seat to history:
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>
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> 1. The first German serviceman killed in WW II was killed by the
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> Japanese (China , 1937), The first American serviceman killed was killed
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> by the Russians ( Finland 1940); The highest ranking American killed
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> was Lt Gen Lesley McNair, killed by the US Army Air Corps.
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> >>>>>>
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> 2. The youngest US serviceman was 12 year old: Calvin Graham,
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> USN. He was wounded and given a Dishonorable Discharge for lying about
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> his age. His benefits were later restored by act of Congress.
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> >>>>>>
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> 3. At the time of Pearl Harbor, the top US Navy command was
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> called CINCUS (pronounced 'sink us'); The shoulder patch of the US
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> Army's 45th Infantry division was the swastika. Hitler's private train
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> was named 'Amerika.' All three were soon changed for PR purposes.
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> >>>>>>
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> 4. More US servicemen died in the Air Corps than the Marine
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> Corps. While completing the required 30 missions, an airman's chance of
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> being killed was 71%.
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> >>>>>>
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> 5. Generally speaking, there was no such thing as an average
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> fighter pilot. You were either an ace or a target. For instance,
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> Japanese Ace Hiroyoshi Nishizawa shot down over 80 planes. He died while
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> a passenger on a cargo plane.
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> >>>>>>
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> 6. It was a common practice on fighter planes to load every 5th
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> round with a tracer round to aid in aiming. This was a big mistake.
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> Tracers had different ballistics so (at long range) if your tracers were
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> hitting the target 80% of your rounds were missing. Worse yet tracers
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> instantly told your enemy he was under fire and from which direction.
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> Worst of all was the practice of loading a string of tracers at the end
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> of the belt to tell you that you were out of ammo. This was definitely
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> not something you wanted to tell the enemy. Units that stopped using
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> tracers saw their success rate nearly double and their loss rate go down.
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> >>>>>>
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> 7. When allied armies reached the Rhine, the first thing men did
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> was pee in it. This was pretty universal from the lowest private to
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> Winston Churchill (who made a big show of it) and Gen. Patton (who had
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> himself photographed in the act).
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> >>>>>>
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> 8. German Me-264 bombers were capable of bombing New York City,
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> but they decided it wasn't worth the effort.
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> >>>>>>
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> 9. German submarine U-120 was sunk by a malfunctioning toilet.
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> >>>>>>
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> 10. Among the first 'Germans' captured at Normandy were several
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> Koreans. They had been forced to fight for the Japanese Army until they
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> were captured by the Russians and forced to fight for the Russian Army
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> until they were captured by the Germans and forced to fight for the
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> German Army until they were captured by the US Army.
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> >>>>>>
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> 11. Following a massive naval bombardment, 35,000 United States
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> and Canadian troops stormed ashore at Kiska, in the Aleutian Islands.
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> 21 troops were killed in the assault on the island....... It could have
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> been worse if there had actually been any Japanese on the island.
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> >>>>>>
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> 12. The last marine killed in WW2 was killed by a can of spam.
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> He was on the ground as a POW in Japan when rescue flights dropping food
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> and supplies came over, the package came apart in the air and a stray
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> can of spam hit him and killed him.
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The Nature of Investment Advisors
 

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Where did "Piss Poor" come from? Interesting history.

They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot.

And then once it was full it was taken and sold to the tannery...

if you had to do this to survive you were "Piss Poor".
But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn't even afford to buy a pot...

They "didn't have a pot to piss in" and were the lowest of the low.

The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature
Isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be.

Here are some facts about the 1500's

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May,

And they still smelled pretty good by June. However, since they were starting to smell,
brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water.

The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water,

Then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children.

Last of all the babies.

By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it.
Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water!"

Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath.

It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals
(mice, bugs) lived in the roof.

When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof.
Hence the saying, "It's raining cats and dogs."
There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house.

This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings

Could mess up your nice clean bed.

Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection.

That's how canopy beds came into existence.

The floor was dirt.. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt.

Hence the saying, "Dirt poor." The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery
In the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on the floor to help keep their footing..

As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door,
It would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way.
Hence: a thresh hold.

(Getting quite an education, aren't you?)

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire.

Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables
And did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers
In the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day.

Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while.

Hence the rhyme:

�Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old."
Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special.

When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off.

It was a sign of wealth that a man could, "bring home the bacon."

They would cut off a little to share with guests

And would all sit around and chew the fat.

Those with money had plates made of pewter.

Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death.

This happened most often with tomatoes,
so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.

Bread was divided according to status..

Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle,

and guests got the top, or the upper crust.

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky.
The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days..
Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial.
They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around
and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up.

Hence the custom; �holding a wake."

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people.

So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave.

When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had ben burying people alive.
So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell.

Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be,
�saved by the bell" or was "considered a dead ringer."

And that's the truth.

Now, whoever said history was boring!!!

So get out there and educate someone!
Share these facts with a friend.
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering,
"What the heck happened?"
We'll be friends until we are old and senile.
Then we'll be new friends.

Smile, it gives your face something to do!

sorry-90% of the above is pure BS!
 
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There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. ”

- Ezekiel 23:20
 
I think there are probably more than a few religious guys on here, but I think the Nails thing was hilarious... nice contribution.
 
Men's thoughts

· I woke up this morning at 8, and could smell something was wrong. I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked. I didn't know what to do. Then I remembered McDonald's serves breakfast until 10:30.

· The wife's back on the warpath again. She was up for making a sex movie last night, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.

· I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster.

· My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own fault. I should have taken them off.

· I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.

· After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the wife were going to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough, once she killed herself, I started to feel a lot better. So I thought, "Screw it, soldier on!"

· Bought the missus a hamster skin coat last week. Took her to the fair last night, and it took me 3 hours to get her off the Ferris wheel.

· The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with. I told her, "Only you. All the others kept me awake!"

· My missus packed my bags, and as I walked out the front door, she screamed, "I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!". "Oh," I replied, "so now you want me to stay!"

· A Catholic boy in confession says, "Bless me Father, I have sinned, I masturbated while thinking about my sister." "That's a disgrace," said the priest, "especially when you have two gorgeous brothers."

· A government survey has shown that 91% of illegal immigrants come to this country so that they can see their own doctor.

· I've just installed strobe lights in the bedroom. It makes the wife look like she's moving during sex.

· Went out last night and got really wasted. I woke up in the middle of the night next to some chick who was snoring and farting, so I knew I made it home OK!:D
 
British Humor

This particular joke actually won an award for the best joke in a competition held in Britain.



An Israeli doctor says: "In Israel, medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man's testicles, put them on another man, and in 6 weeks, he is looking for work."

The German doctor says: "That's nothing, in Germany we take part of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he is looking for work."

The Russian doctor says: "Gentlemen, we take half a heart from a man, put it in another's chest, and in 2 weeks he is looking for work."

The American doctor laughs: "You all are behind us. Five years ago, we took a man with no brains, no heart, and no balls and made him President. Now, the whole country is looking for work!":grin:
 


Just interesting that people always feel free to make fun of Christianity and Jesus in particular but never make fun of Moo-Ham-Ad or iSlam.

Don't know why this is......unless maybe they're too chicken and are afraid of having their heads cut off by the religion of peace.

Me, I'm an agnostic and could care less but I do see a very definite pattern.
Then those same people who insult Christians without thinking about it twice whine and complain and ***** about football teams like Red Skins being an insulting name.
 
Just interesting that people always feel free to make fun of Christianity and Jesus in particular but never make fun of Moo-Ham-Ad or iSlam.

Don't know why this is......unless maybe they're too chicken and are afraid of having their heads cut off by the religion of peace.

Me, I'm an agnostic and could care less but I do see a very definite pattern.
Then those same people who insult Christians without thinking about it twice whine and complain and ***** about football teams like Red Skins being an insulting name.

I agree, all religion should be ridiculed equally, but there aren't too many Islamic cartoons out there. The last time someone published these, the Muslim world burned.

islamcartoon_zpsbdc6d27f.jpg


Now is that funny or what?
 
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