Great One Liners/Golf/Pool???

[Island Drive]

Many of you on this forum, get to events.
And [I'm sure the links is also in play.
Any good one liners?
Alex P. for example.

ChiChi Rodriguez.....The most fun you can have w/o taking your cloths off.

Mark Twain....A good walk spoiled.



I remember yrs ago a Fats Retort.

Player running his mouth while in action...''did you see that ball roll''

Son, that's why they're round.

 

[brigeton]

Golf advice, you're standing too close to the ball, after you hit it.

 

[Poolhall60561]

Yogi Berra had a way with words.

“It’s like deja but all over again”

 

[Rusty in Montana]

My personal favorite was one I used to try and get a friend of mine to not hit the cue ball quite so hard ...... slam it soft ! After it registered he stood up gave me a strange look giggled and laughed then made the shot much softer this time with the desired result .

 

[bbb]

dont remeber who this line is attributed to but it goes something like this
playing straight pool for money the opponent runs 150 and out and wins the cash
the guy who got beat asks for a spot
the opponent says
"i cant give you a spot
i havent seen you shoot!!!"

 

[Fore Rail]

Take two weeks off and quit.

 

[SlateMan]

When I try to hit the ball softer I think to myself:

Round object, flat surface...

 

[measureman]

There was a guy playing in a four handed 1 and 5 game also known as Chicago who just kept making crazy shots.
One player finally says "This guy aint safe under the table!"

 

[sixpack]

My friend wanted to quit ahead on a guy because it was late. The guy said:”you have to give me a chance to win my money back!”
Without missing a beat my friend said:”aw crap! Now I gotta stay here until you learn how to play pool?”

 

[gregcantrall]

That ball is afraid of the dark.

 

[gregcantrall]

He couldn't spell pool if you spotted him an O.

 

[gregcantrall]

Regarding the early Efren, "You're in trouble if the cue ball is on the same table as the object ball."

 

[buckshotshoey]

Minnesota Fats on distractions..

If I were you I would play in a wax museum, then if somebody moves I'd Get out of town!

 

[measureman]

"Hows that guy play?"
"He cant play a radio"

 

[gerard soriano]

In Pat Flemings famous (Game Show) some guy was busting Pat and said (Hey Fleming your a has been ),without missing a beat Pat said, I may be a has been but your a never was . LMAO !

 

[dardusm]

One that I heard years ago always struck me as funny. My opponent missed a combo and said "I couldn't make a combo even if I worked at Pizza Hut"

 

[Ghost of OBC]

"You got Liberace-ed. Your playing partner is well inside of you."

 

[Kobachi]

After the husband bought his wife golf lessons, she came home, and threw her clubs on the ground visibly upset. When the husband asked what happened, she said she got stung by a bee between the first and second hole. The husband replied,

“Sounds like your stance is too wide”

 

[jay helfert]

"I'm so broke I can't pay attention."
Keith when his opponent sunk the cue ball, "Man overboard!"
Jersey Red when asked for a spot, "Spot went home!"
Fats to the entire backroom when trying to make a game at Johnston City, "You could turn all these guys upside down and shake them and you wouldn't find ten cents!"

 

[David in FL]

Lee Trevino, gambling on golf, but it equally pertains to pool…

Pressure isn’t a 3 foot putt for $50,000. Pressure is a 3 foot putt for $5, when you only have $2 in your pocket…