Growing tired of playing my friend in pool

Mr Slate

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Silver Member
I like to play pool as much as I can so when my friend of 20+ years want's to play me I accept. The problem is he's too fidgety and awkward at the table and he can't hit a straight in shot half the time. I've tried for the last decade to give him advice on how to play and such (fundamentals) but he's too proud to listen to me (he's 50) and want's to win his way or no way.
Now here's the problem: lately he's been getting very upset and taking it out on others in the area of the table. "that guy was standing too close to me" "this guy was too loud" and so forth. This usually leads to him calling someone out to the point where they're gonna fist fight before I step in and calm him down. This happens too much as of late and I'm getting tired of it. I think I just need to quit playing pool with him but then he'll be even more obnoxious about it and it just goes further down the drain from there.
Anyway's.....sorry about the "Dear Abby" post but I figured maybe someone here has a serious idea on how I could get him to play without acting like an 8 year old.
 

brandoncook26

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
I think if you have been playing him for ten years and he acts the same, you aren't going to change him anytime soon. People can change, but it would have happened by now. At this point, you can choose to accept him or choose not to play him.

If it were me, I wouldn't play him. If it isn't fun for you, and he isn't learning anything, what is the point?
 

ridewiththewind

♥ Hippie Hustler ♥
Silver Member
I like to play pool as much as I can so when my friend of 20+ years want's to play me I accept. The problem is he's too fidgety and awkward at the table and he can't hit a straight in shot half the time. I've tried for the last decade to give him advice on how to play and such (fundamentals) but he's too proud to listen to me (he's 50) and want's to win his way or no way.
Now here's the problem: lately he's been getting very upset and taking it out on others in the area of the table. "that guy was standing too close to me" "this guy was too loud" and so forth. This usually leads to him calling someone out to the point where they're gonna fist fight before I step in and calm him down. This happens too much as of late and I'm getting tired of it. I think I just need to quit playing pool with him but then he'll be even more obnoxious about it and it just goes further down the drain from there.
Anyway's.....sorry about the "Dear Abby" post but I figured maybe someone here has a serious idea on how I could get him to play without acting like an 8 year old.

It is a bit of a conundrum. I suppose that you can either tell your friend that you have decided to 'take a break' from the game for a while, thus avoiding the same scene again. Or, you can just be honest with your friend and tell him that his behavior is not only unacceptable, but embarrassing to you both, and if something doesn't change, he will need to find someone else to play with him. I just really do not see any other alternative.

Lisa
 

johnqbs

john@qbs
Silver Member
tell him the truth

i think the best way to handle that problem , is to take the straight
forward approach tell him he will just have to start acting better.
you will have to find the right way to do it . remind him he is not a child
so don't act like one . if he is a true friend he will take your advice.
if he will not remain you friend . there are a lot of people that like to play
pool. the reason his game is not improving sounds like hes got a chip on his shoulder. not much , just my thought on that.
take care , john qbs
 

LAlouie

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
Tell him his behavior is distracting to your game. He may not take advice, but he'll understand that, at least. If he continues, you have an out.
 

Mr Slate

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Silver Member
Thank you all for the suggestions. I think the best approach is going to be to just tell him that I need play against other people that can play me with a higher skilled game. He knows he's not very good already, and would probably be more willing to accept that. It's still going to be a drama session for whomever he plays though and I'm sure this is going to get ugly at some point in the future.
 

Falcon Eddie

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
Thank you all for the suggestions. I think the best approach is going to be to just tell him that I need play against other people that can play me with a higher skilled game. He knows he's not very good already, and would probably be more willing to accept that. It's still going to be a drama session for whomever he plays though and I'm sure this is going to get ugly at some point in the future.

I have had this exact same problem. Now we don't speak at all. If you tell him this you will create more tension. He already knows you are a better player. He gets mad because he can win sometimes but can never beat you. I understand your wanting to help . But you can't . Best to move on.
 

Tramp Steamer

One Pocket enthusiast.
Silver Member
You want to know what's really happening? He's trying to quit playing with you, but doesn't know how to go about it. I know this to be true because the very same thing is happening to me.
I've thought about this long and hard, so let me suggest you do what I intend to do in my situation. Give it a rest for awhile. Be honest and tell him that in the interest of both your games you feel that some time off is needed. My guess is he will agree with you, and that will be that.
When things become so repititious in a relationship (be it with a pool playing friend, a girlfriend, or even a wife) that boredom and frustration begins to cause problems, then I believe it's time to take a break.
In hindsight, now that I think on it, the reasons for my being divorced three times were boredom and frustration___and girlfriends to, of course.
Hey, thanks Mr. Slate. This has really helped me alot. :)
 

Mr Slate

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Silver Member
You want to know what's really happening? He's trying to quit playing with you, but doesn't know how to go about it. I know this to be true because the very same thing is happening to me.
I've thought about this long and hard, so let me suggest you do what I intend to do in my situation. Give it a rest for awhile. Be honest and tell him that in the interest of both your games you feel that some time off is needed. My guess is he will agree with you, and that will be that.
When things become so repititious in a relationship (be it with a pool playing friend, a girlfriend, or even a wife) that boredom and frustration begins to cause problems, then I believe it's time to take a break.
In hindsight, now that I think on it, the reasons for my being divorced three times were boredom and frustration___and girlfriends to, of course.
Hey, thanks Mr. Slate. This has really helped me alot. :)
Glad I could help.:smile:
I think you have a very good point as well. He's frustrated with his game and I'm becoming frustrated with his behavior. Makes a lot of sense. Thanks
 

Tramp Steamer

One Pocket enthusiast.
Silver Member
Glad I could help.:smile:
I think you have a very good point as well. He's frustrated with his game and I'm becoming frustrated with his behavior. Makes a lot of sense. Thanks


Not a problem. We here at Steamer Cue Sports are more than happy to lend a helping hand to our fellow pool players. You will be receiving an invoice for 'services rendered' from our accounting division within three working days. Prompt payment is appreciated. Have a nice day.
Sincerely, Basil Cutbirth, CFO, Steamer Cue Sports Ltd.
 

Mr Slate

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Silver Member
Not a problem. We here at Steamer Cue Sports are more than happy to lend a helping hand to our fellow pool players. You will be receiving an invoice for 'services rendered' from our accounting division within three working days. Prompt payment is appreciated. Have a nice day.
Sincerely, Basil Cutbirth, CFO, Steamer Cue Sports Ltd.

Sounds fair enough but you'll have to submit the invoice to my new "funds distribution" manager. Her name is Helen Waite. :grin-devilish:
 

Maniac

2manyQ's
Silver Member
Getting back to the serious side, whatever/whenever you say something to him, do it in private and preferably AWAY from the poolhall. Take him to a local eating establishment and buy him lunch. When you get the chance to work it into the conversation, tell him what you need to and don't hem-haw around. Tell it like it is. And.....be sure to tell him that he's been within an inch of getting the sh*t beat outta him in recent days. Maybe that'll scare him into mellowing out a bit. Good luck to you. I know that this is a tough situation to be in.

Maniac
 

mikeyfrost

Socially Aware
Silver Member
Make it fun, also try letting him win a little more. If he's in a better mood he won't snap at everyone. Friends are more important than a game. Be a better friend to him than he is a pool player and you will enjoy any time on the table.
 

Mr Slate

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Silver Member
Make it fun, also try letting him win a little more. If he's in a better mood he won't snap at everyone. Friends are more important than a game. Be a better friend to him than he is a pool player and you will enjoy any time on the table.

Good advice but I've tried letting him win more and he gets upset if he thinks I'm not giving the game my best shot. The last time I tried that he threw his cue on the table and left the pool hall for home. Then he realized it was him that brought me there and had to come back to give me a ride home.
I did get an idea of maybe playing doubles against people with him being on my team. It might work out better....it might not.
 

steev

Lazy User
Silver Member
There's another way. Gamble. Beat him out of a modest sum, then he can learn, quit, or go bust.

Of course, this only works for certain types of people/friends.

-s
 

Mr Slate

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Silver Member
And.....be sure to tell him that he's been within an inch of getting the sh*t beat outta him in recent days. Maybe that'll scare him into mellowing out a bit.

Good idea but it's never gonna happen. He's an Irish, Retired U.S. Navy sailor / merchant marine bosun's mate. I don't think he's ever been scared to fight.
 

vasilios

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
Time for you to take him for a nice lunch also pick up the tab.tell him what you expect out of him while you are in a pool playing enviroment.tell him you cherish the friendship but the crap has got to stop.talk to him like he is a 4 year old and lay down the rules.then insure him you are going to stick by your decision.

bill
 

TATE

AzB Gold Mensch
Gold Member
Silver Member
I like to play pool as much as I can so when my friend of 20+ years want's to play me I accept. The problem is he's too fidgety and awkward at the table and he can't hit a straight in shot half the time. I've tried for the last decade to give him advice on how to play and such (fundamentals) but he's too proud to listen to me (he's 50) and want's to win his way or no way.
Now here's the problem: lately he's been getting very upset and taking it out on others in the area of the table. "that guy was standing too close to me" "this guy was too loud" and so forth. This usually leads to him calling someone out to the point where they're gonna fist fight before I step in and calm him down. This happens too much as of late and I'm getting tired of it. I think I just need to quit playing pool with him but then he'll be even more obnoxious about it and it just goes further down the drain from there.
Anyway's.....sorry about the "Dear Abby" post but I figured maybe someone here has a serious idea on how I could get him to play without acting like an 8 year old.

A lot of times friends cross the "bad sportsmanship" line because they are friends and might feel comfortable showing their true feelings with you.

To me, a true friend is a lot more important than a pool playing partner. I would say something to him for sure - away from the pool room - something tactful and positive about working on good sportmanship.

You might be surprised. A person who's reasonable and intelligent will listen and should get the message.

By the way, spot him a ball or two if you need a more challenging game. it may help both of you.

Chris
 

buzzsaw

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
It sounds like you're taking this a little too personal and I think you're missing out on a great opportunity here. If you can get through playing him with all of that distraction it will improve your game. You can't stop him from doing what he does but you can learn from it.

my 2 cents
 

Mr Slate

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Silver Member
Update

Had a serious talk about this with my buddy and he took it pretty well. He said he understands how he was acting but couldn't help it at the time. He said he'd stop getting overly upset if I promised not to tank when I play against him. He really seems to wan't to play better so I gave him my copy of Capelle's "PYB 8-B". I guess I'll just have to wait and see if he can control himself.
 
Top