hang in there or opt out?

oldplayer

oldplayer

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
i consider this forum the best of all times so i beg to ask the question, relying on all the great people here. last week my wife of 46 yrs got a very bad diagnosis from the dr....2 to 10 yrs left with no treatment available. to say i am devastated is an understatement. i can't focus on anything this week....sure can't practice daily like before. last saturday (2 days after the dr), a friend asked that i join his team for a 9 ball tournament as he was one person short and it started in 2 days! i hesitated but agreed as he was in a bind. sunday night was the first evening and i rattled the 9 ball 3 different times and this was after running most of the balls ( i am a "B" player and love the game). prior to the match i thought maybe playing would get my mind off the situation even if for 1 night. i guess i was wrong. tonight it is on again and for 2 nights/week for another 3 weeks. i have not practiced since sunday as i am just not "in the mood". so, the question is, tonight do i opt out at the last minute or continue to play and possibly harm the team's chances? i certainly am in no condition to think this thru and hope i get some incite and advice.
everyone have a great day! :thumbup:
 
oldplayer...My condolences on your wife's prognosis. It's never easy dealing with terminal illness. She is obviously the most important thing in your life, and should be. That said, with your love of playing pool, that also is an important 'outlet' for you. I'd say keep up with it, and use it as a way to keep some sanity in times of the insanity of having to deal with things we have no control over. Best wishes to you and your family. My prayers will be for your wife's comfort.

Scott Lee
www.poolknowledge.com
 
First of all, I'm so sorry to hear of your bad news. That has to be devastating, for both of you.

In my opinion, I think you ought to hang in there. You will need some "you" time in order to be the person you want to be, for her. (Assuming she doesn't need your attention full-time, which is a whole other matter. This is assuming she's comfortable and able to do her own thing, too.)

You will probably need to keep as much of your life as normal as possible, for both your sakes. So that you can better enjoy your time together.

Again, this is only one mans opinion, and it comes without any experience in a situation like yours. I can only wish you both the best, and make the most of it. Good luck to you both.
 
Brother... I feel your pain. First and foremost, take care of things on the home front... whatever that takes. Pool can wait.

I'm guessing that there may be some guidance/counseling online in regards to the process of accepting the realization that a loved one is terminally ill. There may be some consolation and peace there.

Kindest regards, cd.
 
I am very sorry to hear of your situation. The two posts above gave excellent advice.

My grandfather, also my best friend was diagnosed with bone cancer a few years ago. I hung up pool for 8 months and practically lived at the hospital. I was torn between needing a outlet and being there for my gandpa. He wanted me to be doing what I loved, I wanted to spend all the time I could with him. I think he would have been happier though if I continued doing the things that I loved.

There's no right or wrong answer here, just the one that works best for you. I say hang in there, from my experience the other person in question could probably use a little personal time alone as well.

My best wishes go out to you and yours.
 
I am so terribly sorry to hear your devastating news. I think you should do whatever you feel is right, I cannot and will not say either way I imagine everyone is different.

What I would suggest is talk it over with your wife, as difficult as some may think that would be, everything is better out in the open. If you feel you need some 'me time', it maybe that she also needs some 'me time' it would not be too surprising. Everything should be on the table here, could she go with you, would she want to go with you?

What I would say finally is that whatever decision you make together will be the right one for you two at that time. I wish you both all the best and our thoughts and prayers go with you both.

May your God go with you.

Paul
 
oldplayer said:
i consider this forum the best of all times so i beg to ask the question, relying on all the great people here. last week my wife of 46 yrs got a very bad diagnosis from the dr....2 to 10 yrs left with no treatment available. to say i am devastated is an understatement. i can't focus on anything this week....sure can't practice daily like before. last saturday (2 days after the dr), a friend asked that i join his team for a 9 ball tournament as he was one person short and it started in 2 days! i hesitated but agreed as he was in a bind. sunday night was the first evening and i rattled the 9 ball 3 different times and this was after running most of the balls ( i am a "B" player and love the game). prior to the match i thought maybe playing would get my mind off the situation even if for 1 night. i guess i was wrong. tonight it is on again and for 2 nights/week for another 3 weeks. i have not practiced since sunday as i am just not "in the mood". so, the question is, tonight do i opt out at the last minute or continue to play and possibly harm the team's chances? i certainly am in no condition to think this thru and hope i get some incite and advice.
everyone have a great day! :thumbup:
Click to expand...
Oldplayer, I would like to add that your wife might feel bad if you give up the sport you love but she can answer that for you. Good luck to you both and be grateful for the happy years you had together. Many never find that kind of closeness. It is rare and precious.
 
oldplayer said:
i consider this forum the best of all times so i beg to ask the question, relying on all the great people here. last week my wife of 46 yrs got a very bad diagnosis from the dr....2 to 10 yrs left with no treatment available. to say i am devastated is an understatement. i can't focus on anything this week....sure can't practice daily like before. last saturday (2 days after the dr), a friend asked that i join his team for a 9 ball tournament as he was one person short and it started in 2 days! i hesitated but agreed as he was in a bind. sunday night was the first evening and i rattled the 9 ball 3 different times and this was after running most of the balls ( i am a "B" player and love the game). prior to the match i thought maybe playing would get my mind off the situation even if for 1 night. i guess i was wrong. tonight it is on again and for 2 nights/week for another 3 weeks. i have not practiced since sunday as i am just not "in the mood". so, the question is, tonight do i opt out at the last minute or continue to play and possibly harm the team's chances? i certainly am in no condition to think this thru and hope i get some incite and advice.
everyone have a great day! :thumbup:
Click to expand...

I would explain the situation and let him know , Unless your wife is pushing you out the door the pool team means nothing. Tend to your wife and the hell with pool. Give yourself and wife time to cope with this. Pool will be there when your mind gets right again.
Good Luck and Very sorry to hear this
 
i knew i could depend on my "forum friends" to help. thank you for the prayers and the advice. i just spoke with my wife about maybe i would not play this evening and she said, "oh yes you are"! that about says itt all for my wife. :D bless you all for the help. have a great day!
 
Oldplayer
I am glad you did mention something, I felt sure she would say that. Everyone is different of course but over the years this has invariably been the response in my experience.

If there is ever anything we can do please don't hesitate to ask, we may be a 'few' miles apart in physical distance but it's not too far for friends even if it's just to talk about Pool or life in general. I do associate many people on here as friends, even though I have only met a few.
 
oldplayer said:
i knew i could depend on my "forum friends" to help. thank you for the prayers and the advice. i just spoke with my wife about maybe i would not play this evening and she said, "oh yes you are"! that about says itt all for my wife. :D bless you all for the help. have a great day!
Click to expand...

Awesome! Sounds like you two worked it out perfectly. I wish you and your wife the best, and BTW kick some butt tonight at league!!!
 
oldplayer said:
i consider this forum the best of all times so i beg to ask the question, relying on all the great people here. last week my wife of 46 yrs got a very bad diagnosis from the dr....2 to 10 yrs left with no treatment available. to say i am devastated is an understatement. i can't focus on anything this week....sure can't practice daily like before. last saturday (2 days after the dr), a friend asked that i join his team for a 9 ball tournament as he was one person short and it started in 2 days! i hesitated but agreed as he was in a bind. sunday night was the first evening and i rattled the 9 ball 3 different times and this was after running most of the balls ( i am a "B" player and love the game). prior to the match i thought maybe playing would get my mind off the situation even if for 1 night. i guess i was wrong. tonight it is on again and for 2 nights/week for another 3 weeks. i have not practiced since sunday as i am just not "in the mood". so, the question is, tonight do i opt out at the last minute or continue to play and possibly harm the team's chances? i certainly am in no condition to think this thru and hope i get some incite and advice.
everyone have a great day! :thumbup:
Click to expand...

Sounds like the perfect time to rise to new levels.. go play your heart out
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top