how do you respond to your wife....
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In all honesty if you love your wife you should lay off the pool a little. Trust me I understand the obsession, but family is far more important than a game. I generally plan my pool playing time around the time the lady is at work, but I do get into a tournament here and there while she is home.
You may want to be stubborn now, but if she walks out that door I guarantee that you will change your tune. If by chance you don't change your tune I certainly guarantee that your game will suffer.
You may want to be stubborn now, but if she walks out that door I guarantee that you will change your tune. If by chance you don't change your tune I certainly guarantee that your game will suffer.
I got a pool table for my wife.
Best trade I ever made.
Just kidding. I was in your position once where my wife was very upset about how much pool I was playing but I told her that is who I am and that she knew that about me when we met. I don't play nearly as much pool now as I used to as she and our son come first. I told her that I would quit pool forever if she needed me to or if it ever interfered with our family. I have backed that up by missing a lot of tournaments that I would love to go to (like Turning Stone) but I still get to go to some and she doesn't complain about it when I do. The key is she has to know that she is more important than pool. If your wife doesn't know she's more important then you have to convince her. If you don't know if she's more important then you might as well let her file for divorce.
Best trade I ever made.
Just kidding. I was in your position once where my wife was very upset about how much pool I was playing but I told her that is who I am and that she knew that about me when we met. I don't play nearly as much pool now as I used to as she and our son come first. I told her that I would quit pool forever if she needed me to or if it ever interfered with our family. I have backed that up by missing a lot of tournaments that I would love to go to (like Turning Stone) but I still get to go to some and she doesn't complain about it when I do. The key is she has to know that she is more important than pool. If your wife doesn't know she's more important then you have to convince her. If you don't know if she's more important then you might as well let her file for divorce.
I found a really simple way to settle this type of discussion/argument...
I tell my girlfriend that yes, I love pool, and yes, I can even be excited by a new cue or case or even joint protector delivery. I then let her know that if she doesn't like my playing pool I completely understand ... and that either she can "satisfy" my excitement or I can shoot some pool on my table and "get it our of my system".
9 times out of 10, I get the ... oh whatever, go shoot pool... answer.
I tell my girlfriend that yes, I love pool, and yes, I can even be excited by a new cue or case or even joint protector delivery. I then let her know that if she doesn't like my playing pool I completely understand ... and that either she can "satisfy" my excitement or I can shoot some pool on my table and "get it our of my system".
9 times out of 10, I get the ... oh whatever, go shoot pool... answer.
Priorities & Compromise
These are two really good posts above. Ask yourself what your priorities are and move forward from there. I wish you the best.
Don't obsess over pool. Compromise. If you want to keep your wife, kids, and pool, there needs to be compromise. Your time and devotion priority should be obvious. Having pool in your life should be secondary to your wife and kids. Of course this is just my opinion. If pool is really a big part of your life then finding a compromise will be your best chance at keeping everything you currently have. There are some who only have pool and would trade spots with you in a hearbeat.
"You must find balance Daniel son" -Mr. Miyagi
I think you already know the answer to your question, and I also think you have to make a desicion. What is more important to you your Wife, and Kids if you have any or Pool.
Pretty simple isn't it!
Ho Ho Ho Merry Christmas
These are two really good posts above. Ask yourself what your priorities are and move forward from there. I wish you the best.
Don't obsess over pool. Compromise. If you want to keep your wife, kids, and pool, there needs to be compromise. Your time and devotion priority should be obvious. Having pool in your life should be secondary to your wife and kids. Of course this is just my opinion. If pool is really a big part of your life then finding a compromise will be your best chance at keeping everything you currently have. There are some who only have pool and would trade spots with you in a hearbeat.
"You must find balance Daniel son" -Mr. Miyagi
This Christmas, buy your wife a subscription to Curb Life Magazine, move out and get a dog. You'll be better off for it in the long run.
Getting a divorce is no big deal, pretty much everyone does it at least once.
Getting a divorce is no big deal, pretty much everyone does it at least once.
Paul Newman on marriage: “I’ve repeatedly said that for people who have as little in common as Joanne and myself, we have an uncommonly good marriage. We are actors. We make pictures and that’s about all we have in common. Maybe that’s enough. Wives shouldn’t feel obligated to accompany their husbands to a ball game, husbands do look a bit silly attending morning coffee breaks with the neighborhood wives when most men are out at work. Husbands and wives should have separate interests, cultivate different sets of friends and not impose on the other ... You can’t spend a lifetime breathing down each other’s necks ... We are very, very different people and yet somehow we fed off those varied differences and instead of separating us, it has made the whole bond a lot stronger.”
Source: IMDB.com
http://marriage.about.com/od/entertainmen1/p/paulnewman.htm
Source: IMDB.com
http://marriage.about.com/od/entertainmen1/p/paulnewman.htm
You haven't said how much time you spend obsessing over pool. So you gotta 'fess up!
Several posters have made good-natured jokes about molifying the wife with Coach handbags or diamond rings or other trinkets. Giving the wife gifts doesn't solve the underlying problem about how much time you spend on pool.
As other posters have said, it's important to establish your priorites and have a balance in your life in all the things that you do.
Selfish
Okay, I must admit. I used this thread for my own selfish purposes. I told my wife about all of the different advise being given....and I managed to make her feel a little guilty....so I was able to talk her into me buying another cue. So thanks for creating this thread!
Okay, I must admit. I used this thread for my own selfish purposes. I told my wife about all of the different advise being given....and I managed to make her feel a little guilty....so I was able to talk her into me buying another cue. So thanks for creating this thread!
Simple.
Say "yes, dear."
Follow her instructions, you'll be OK. They're the boss. That's how it works.
You don't want her to be the boss? Let her divorce you.
You want to stay married? Work it out. Don't play as much pool. Try to arrange pool playing time when she is busy doing something that interests her. Compromise. That's how marriage works.
Before I married, we both talked and knew the ground rules up front but I'd been at it strong for 18 years already. If your in a situation where you pool games intent was not disclosed good luck and hope you work it out. Certain things we do in life make us who we are and if pool has ALWAYS been there and she knows it then something else is going on, or not going on. If pool has been part of your life but the game has now taken some control over your actions and your play time has doubled or tripled then you need plan B.
Again, Good Luck!!
i think you should not buy the cue now and instead buy her a $200 purse. This should be good for a table in a month or two...ijs :thumbup: lol
Not bad advise. But I already have a home table, which is why I think that I'm able to play as much as I do since I don't need to leave the house, except for pool leagues one night a week. My wife even said she was fine if I went out to play pool more nights a week, except that the leagues are in bars -- with drinking, and female bartenders.... Playing at pool halls only would be what I would need to extend my playing outside of the house....
Hmmmm
Personally, I DON'T respond well to threats, and a threat of a divorce is a mind game. Because she expects you to cave instantly to get her way. If you don't cave she will throw it back in your face that you are chosing pool over her. You cannot win with this type of mind game warfare.....it's not fair.
I've been obsessed with Baseball my whole life that I still play in an over 45 hard ball league. (and a pool league and various poker games) This is who I am. So, we celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary last month. I guess she must of thought about her friends husbands out drinking and chasing woman a few nights a week. So playing ball (or pool) is a lot cheaper and safter than the other stuff. There is a compromise in order but it needs to start without threats of divorce. I would never do that, nor would my wife do it to me. Because I think either of us would call the others bluff...........
Personally, I DON'T respond well to threats, and a threat of a divorce is a mind game. Because she expects you to cave instantly to get her way. If you don't cave she will throw it back in your face that you are chosing pool over her. You cannot win with this type of mind game warfare.....it's not fair.
I've been obsessed with Baseball my whole life that I still play in an over 45 hard ball league. (and a pool league and various poker games) This is who I am. So, we celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary last month. I guess she must of thought about her friends husbands out drinking and chasing woman a few nights a week. So playing ball (or pool) is a lot cheaper and safter than the other stuff. There is a compromise in order but it needs to start without threats of divorce. I would never do that, nor would my wife do it to me. Because I think either of us would call the others bluff...........
Tell her you will miss her lol
Tell her your going out to the DCC. Talk about it non stop. Secretly Plan a weekend get away with her instead of the DCC. When it comes the to leave for the DCC, tell her to hop in the car and enjoy a weekend with her! She will remember that forever and give less pushback when you want to play pool in the future.