That's the full chapter twenty. Many thanks to Mr Forsyth and all those who can offer their thoughts and opinions.
I'm writing a book. Would anyone care to review a chapter?
- Thread starter Rubik's Cube
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I've only had time to read a few pages so far, but it is an interesting read. It takes a few minutes to get accustomed to the formal, stylistic writing. (Brits, whaddya gonna do?)
I do have a question about the first page. In Chapter 19 he says "the good Book..." I'm not sure, but to me it seems like it should be written as, "the Good Book..."
I have a question about the images. I notice that a credit/copyright is listed for each image. Was there a significant cost for the use of the images?
Thanks,
I do have a question about the first page. In Chapter 19 he says "the good Book..." I'm not sure, but to me it seems like it should be written as, "the Good Book..."
I have a question about the images. I notice that a credit/copyright is listed for each image. Was there a significant cost for the use of the images?
Thanks,
Good afternoon, Dan.
Many thanks for your comments, sir, they're certainly much appreciated. You might be correct about capitalisation of the Good Book, I'll have to do a bit of research but thank you for pointing it out.
Regards image rights and permissions: they do, of course, need to be granted but I haven't reached that stage as yet. I do know in many cases they are given free providing full accreditation is stated.
Many thanks for your comments, sir, they're certainly much appreciated. You might be correct about capitalisation of the Good Book, I'll have to do a bit of research but thank you for pointing it out.
Regards image rights and permissions: they do, of course, need to be granted but I haven't reached that stage as yet. I do know in many cases they are given free providing full accreditation is stated.
From a cursory reading of the style and format, the style sounds like you were writing more for yourself than the intended audience. The content is terrific but is presented a bit too much in a style akin to William F. Buckley's Editorials at National Review, i.e. sesquipedalian.
It's readily apparent you possess laudable writing skills and I'm merely presupposing that what you presented likely underwent multiple reviews. These drafts can sometimes lead to a temptation to tweak this sentence here and there for better effect. Pretty soon you can wind up changing what you originally composed for the general reader into something that looks better to your eye instead of the intended audience.
Anyway, in my opinion, you possess great knowledge of the game and really strong writing talents.
Matt B.
It's readily apparent you possess laudable writing skills and I'm merely presupposing that what you presented likely underwent multiple reviews. These drafts can sometimes lead to a temptation to tweak this sentence here and there for better effect. Pretty soon you can wind up changing what you originally composed for the general reader into something that looks better to your eye instead of the intended audience.
Anyway, in my opinion, you possess great knowledge of the game and really strong writing talents.
Matt B.
Good afternoon, sir
Many thanks indeed for taking the time and trouble to read the chapter and offer an honest opinion, it truly is much appreciated
I fully accept your sentiment that my writing is maybe a touch verbose, old fashioned even, and wholeheatedly agree such a style will probably alienate some readers. I did agonise over the issue in the early days but eventually decided, as the book is a labour of love and not really a commercial venture, to stay true to myself in the hope it produces a genuinely original work. This is a first draft, though, I haven't rewritten anything... yet.
Many thanks again and kind regards.
RC.
Many thanks indeed for taking the time and trouble to read the chapter and offer an honest opinion, it truly is much appreciated
I fully accept your sentiment that my writing is maybe a touch verbose, old fashioned even, and wholeheatedly agree such a style will probably alienate some readers. I did agonise over the issue in the early days but eventually decided, as the book is a labour of love and not really a commercial venture, to stay true to myself in the hope it produces a genuinely original work. This is a first draft, though, I haven't rewritten anything... yet.
Many thanks again and kind regards.
RC.
There is, to be sure, some use of fancy vocabulary. I think it gives the writing charm. Well illustrated, well written, and looks to be a fun book.
RC,
I recall some trusted counsel I received when initially embarking in business after graduating college back in the 60's.
My mentor told me that a successful writer should be egoless since the work is essentially composed for others to read, not the author.
And I don't think your style would alienate anyone but I suspect some disinterest, i.e., appeal, could result & it's the writer's challenge to find the happy medium.
Best of luck with your endeavors. I look forward to seeing how it all turns out.
Matt B.
I recall some trusted counsel I received when initially embarking in business after graduating college back in the 60's.
My mentor told me that a successful writer should be egoless since the work is essentially composed for others to read, not the author.
And I don't think your style would alienate anyone but I suspect some disinterest, i.e., appeal, could result & it's the writer's challenge to find the happy medium.
Best of luck with your endeavors. I look forward to seeing how it all turns out.
Matt B.
That's extremely generous, sir.
Many thanks indeed for taking the time to have a read through and offer such kind words of encouragement.
Sound advice for sure. It is all too easy to become blinded. Many thanks again for the advice, sir.
Im fairly intelligent and well read but Im struggling to stay with it. Takes me a little too long to digest the verbiage to retain my interest. If I take my time, I like it. I just do not have alot of time to read, so I guess my lazy brain would like it to be an easier flow. I am deeply interested in your 30 years of pool experiences.
I guess what I am saying is that for alot of the billiard world, this is going to be a difficult read. Great content.
Best of Luck with it!!
I guess what I am saying is that for alot of the billiard world, this is going to be a difficult read. Great content.
Best of Luck with it!!
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Sincere thanks for your feedback, sir, it is valued and much appreciated.
You're certainly not alone in your appraisal of my work being a tad wordy, and I fully accept and agree with such a critique.
Many thanks again.
RC.
semantic acrobatics
PocketPooler said it much better than I could; you display a fine ability with your style and use of words, but it got a little too "demonstrative" for me; consequently, it became a bit of a struggle to stay with reading it through. English was one of my best subjects in school, but my feeling is you lay it on a little too thick for most pool players. (Just my $.02 worth). To put it another way, I think pool players are more inclined to prefer plain English, or as they say, in the vernacular.
If you have ever read either of Jay Helfert's 2 books, that would be an example of what I'm referring to; it's easy reading and a style of writing in the vernacular which keeps my attention enough to where I have a hard time putting the book down until I've finished it. His books are written in such a fashion that it's exactly how he would talk to you in person. I couldn't imagine listening to you for very long if you spoke to me the way you wrote those lines in your example.
Of course, it's your book and your style, and I guess it depends on which audience you may be targeting.
PocketPooler said it much better than I could; you display a fine ability with your style and use of words, but it got a little too "demonstrative" for me; consequently, it became a bit of a struggle to stay with reading it through. English was one of my best subjects in school, but my feeling is you lay it on a little too thick for most pool players. (Just my $.02 worth). To put it another way, I think pool players are more inclined to prefer plain English, or as they say, in the vernacular.
If you have ever read either of Jay Helfert's 2 books, that would be an example of what I'm referring to; it's easy reading and a style of writing in the vernacular which keeps my attention enough to where I have a hard time putting the book down until I've finished it. His books are written in such a fashion that it's exactly how he would talk to you in person. I couldn't imagine listening to you for very long if you spoke to me the way you wrote those lines in your example.
Of course, it's your book and your style, and I guess it depends on which audience you may be targeting.
Many thanks indeed, sir.
Your constructive criticism is honest, valid, and certainly much appreciated. I accept (and agree) with the opinion that my writing style is very formal and, perhaps, not best suited to its particular target audience. As mentioned earlier, this fact did give me pause in the early days but, as the project is a labour of love and not financially motivated, I endeavored to stay true to my own personality in the hope it would produce something of genuine originality.
Kind regards and thanks.
RC.
A big thank you to everyone who has offered their thoughts via private message, they're all most welcome and appreciated.
If anyone else would like to comment, please feel free to make your opinion public on this thread, all feedback is valuable to me and will be received with gratitude.
Many thanks.
If anyone else would like to comment, please feel free to make your opinion public on this thread, all feedback is valuable to me and will be received with gratitude.
Many thanks.
I found the font and spacing very difficult to read. Content good and entertaining. It did however feel like work.
Good luck.
Bob
Good luck.
Bob
Good afternoon, Bob.
Sincere thanks for taking the time and trouble to have a read and offer your thoughts, it really is much appreciated, sir.
I was particularly interested to hear a fellow author's views on the typography as this is one area where I would, rather immodestly, profess to be something of an expert. To learn it wasn't to your liking was, therefore, a bit of a blow but I'll take your constructive criticism on the chin and strive to improve in the future.
Many thanks and kind regards,
RC.
I've designed an ambigrammatic cueball to accompany my book, the logo reads Whitey whichever way up the ball happens to roll. Only on paper at the moment, alas, but I'll have a few made up in China eventually and give away a few freebies.
Good afternoon, sir
Many thanks indeed for taking the time and trouble to read the chapter and offer an honest opinion, it truly is much appreciated
I fully accept your sentiment that my writing is maybe a touch verbose, old fashioned even, and wholeheatedly agree such a style will probably alienate some readers. I did agonise over the issue in the early days but eventually decided, as the book is a labour of love and not really a commercial venture, to stay true to myself in the hope it produces a genuinely original work. This is a first draft, though, I haven't rewritten anything... yet.
Many thanks again and kind regards.
RC.
RC, that's exactly what I wanted to hear - DO IT YOUR WAY IN YOUR OWN STYLE! That's what will make your book unique and stand out from others. When I wrote the original draft of Pool Wars, I found an editor of technical journals to help me polish the final product. He advised that there were numerous grammatical errors and other misuses of certain words. He was kind enough to change all that in his editing of the first few passages of my book.
A close friend of mine read the revised version and admonished me that my book had lost all the flavor and distinction that I had bestowed on it with my "gonzo" style of writing. He recommended I keep the original version and disdain from allowing someone to edit that out. I'm grateful for his advice and glad now that I listened to him.
I love your book, especially this chapter about clever poolroom cons. Of course my memories of the Johnston City circus and my off kilter mentor Minnesota Fats cloud my judgment somewhat, but not that much. Most of these same cons (and a multitude more) I've seen first hand on both sides of the coin
. Your writing style is a pleasant cross between my friend and colleagues George Fels and Bob Byrnes, two of the most revered writers of the billiard world, and yet uniquely your own. I would like to reserve my copy now! :thumbup2:
P.S. Love the diagrams! The use of color on the yellow background makes each shot easy to see and understand, and that's the purpose they were intended for. Without these excellent and yet simple diagrams the dialogue would be almost meaningless.
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A unique piece so far - Nice work!
You are asking a group, largely North American, to comment on a book written in UK English.
When I read The Economist, I frequently collide with terms I have never encountered before. Some I research, most I ignore.
In your text: ragman's trumpet ???
Listening to UK snooker commentary, I hear pontificators speaking in what I call 'Third Person Personal", as in:
"He just made the shot of the tournament, Stephen Hendry."
To a North American, it is bassackwards.
Why do they make us wait until the end of the sentence to let us know about whom they are talking? Drives me up the wall. Is that a phrase understood in the UK?
And I draw a blank on the source of your Kipling quote
When I read The Economist, I frequently collide with terms I have never encountered before. Some I research, most I ignore.
In your text: ragman's trumpet ???
Listening to UK snooker commentary, I hear pontificators speaking in what I call 'Third Person Personal", as in:
"He just made the shot of the tournament, Stephen Hendry."
To a North American, it is bassackwards.
Why do they make us wait until the end of the sentence to let us know about whom they are talking? Drives me up the wall. Is that a phrase understood in the UK?
And I draw a blank on the source of your Kipling quote
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