Is respect gone in pool or is it just me

[Dave in Boston]

I just dont understand it is there any respect left in pool or am I just that much of an ass

It just seems to me that respect for other players and the game of pool have gone way down in the last couple of years. It seems like 30 percent of the people I play are just down right rude, disrespectful and have no morals or understanding of what even the word respect means.

In the last, 8 times, I have played in either a tournament or league or for money; I would say I have run into 4 or 5 situations, which just blow my mind. I am not a nice person in my own right I can be rather loud when I get upset and start to argue or what ever but it is not until after something like the following happens. I mean how rude and just down right disrespectful does someone have to be or is it just me being touchy and just an ass????

League night playing my match a gentle on the next table practicing for his match literally sits on the pocket I am shoot. I dont say anything just continue to play my match I dont know the person but I know the person he is playing. So I am down shooting another match the guy he is playing walks by the table right in front of my shot saying Hey so and so how you doing to a member of the team I am play. I go over to the guy I know and nicely say hey do you mind telling your friend not to sit on the table we are shooting at and by the way do you mind not walking in front of my shot thank you. He says no problem I will talk to him and sorry about walking in front of your shot. I am down on the very next shot and what happens he walks right in front of it. I miss the shot and I say hey didn?t I just ask you nicely no to do that and he in turn yells across the table and calls me a F%^ D^%K head. Now things get out of hand and we start yelling back in and forth and what not but is this my fault or what??? I know I know just blow it off and play your game etc etc etc. Nevertheless, it keeps happening

Another time I am playing in a tourney I am on the hill the other guy needs two. He misses the nine ball miscues. I get down to shoot the nine and the guy starts tapping his tip right behind me I am talking like a foot away. I stand up I wait do all that stuff get down and hang the nine. I dont say anything I rack and he breaks and runs out. Now the match is over and I say hey do you mind the next time I am shooting the nine ball for you not to be tapping and fixing your tip in my ear please. He now say oh you lost and now are *****ing and making excuses. I said no just asking you not to and he says he wasn?t and once again a argument and yelling. I walk away go have a smoke and two people walk up to me and say hey Dave your right he was doing right in your ear and so on. I say why not say something then, there response wasn?t our place. WTF lol ok I guess just me being and ass again

Last one playing in a 50 dollar ten ball tourney I am up 5-1 in a race to seven guy I am playing is pissed and talking allot he lucks the ten ball in so I rack while I am down racking I dont move my hand on purpose always do this so nobody will break the balls in my face. What?s he do BREAKS and hits my hand I say WTF was that. He doesn?t apologize he just says get over it, it?s just your hand I said what? He says I was just pissed he lucked the ball in and that it didn?t hurt that much and to get over it. So now he wins that rack and this time I put my stick across the table while I rack and he responds by saying be careful my stick might break and that I should just sell it to him. I ignore all this but he keeps talking and saying shit and I lose my fault but is this just me or something or has respect just gone out the window with some people.

I just really, dont understand it at all. I am not saying I am a nice guy or anything but when I am playing I normally just sit down and shut my mouth and play. I am loud when I argue and everything I have a big bark but that?s it. I just dont understand how time after time this stuff happens. Like I said is it me????? or is respect in the game gone?????

 

[Gregg]

I am not a nice person in my own right I can be rather loud when I get upset and start to argue or what ever but it is not until after something like the following happens.

Try being more tolerant of others who may not be focused on your game, and may just be out to have a good time. What you see as disrespect may be someone who is just oblivious to what they are doing. And not everybody knows how to act around a pool table, even if they tried.

It's a fresh reminder when I play friends and family in my basement to see how people stand in front of pockets you are shooting into, walk or dance around within your line of sight, make funny racket noises.

 

[Dave in Boston]

well gregg I do try to be tolerant and the one thing your talking about really wasnt what I was getting at. Yes they were distracting and yes he was actually sitting on the table. Yes those things agravated me a little but it wasnt that. IT was after asking and then once again walking in front of my shot not saying sorry but actaully thinking he was in the right and starting calling me names when he was the one that actaully was at fault.

This wasnt just some bar room player this was a high handicaped individual thats been in the league a long long time. If this happen during his match he would have said something. I tried to be tolerant and asked him with a lot of respect and curtousy to please not do it again and he knew he was in the wrong and appologized but did it again and the next time just went off like I said. So I dont see it as just a fun bar room thing and someone is having fun and drinking next to me I am used to that and come to expect that.

This is a totaly different thing this was an experianced player who would say something if it was done to him. BUT he didnt have the respect for the people playing around him to give the same courtesy.

 

[bomber]

Sounds to me like they were just trying to get under your skin...and it worked.

However, I will say this, there are always three sides to a story...your side, their side, and the truth. I can't say what I would have done or who was in the right because I was not there.

 

[Dave in Boston]

Bomber you are absolutly right but these where kinda straight forward types of incidents. Just basic response or actions that I dont understand.

That is why I didnt get into the arguements that happen or what happen as a result or anything just pointing out from my point of veiw what happen.

 

[Snapshot9]

I was with you all the way

down to the last, and then I rolled back up and saw your handle, and I know what your problem is ................... Your in Boston! Sorry, but it is common knowledge that 'East Coast' people, especially NE are rude, insensitive, and downright belligerent.

Here in the Midwest, we just say, sit down and STFU!!! .... LOL

 

[Shawn Armstrong]

Bomber you are absolutly right but these where kinda straight forward types of incidents. Just basic response or actions that I dont understand.

That is why I didnt get into the arguements that happen or what happen as a result or anything just pointing out from my point of veiw what happen.

They're not basic responses. You caused your own problems.

Situation #1 - you barked, the other guy barked back.
Situation #2 - you let tip tapping bug you enough to dog a ball? Was there any music in the background? If so, was it too loud? You play pool in places filled with distractions. If the tapping bothered you, take a break, go to the can, come back and flush the game ball. Simple.
Situation #3 - if the guy was breaking immediately after the rack was lifted, ask him to rack his own balls. You place them, leave the triangle on the balls, and let him freeze them. Problem solved.

Yes, you ran into a few idiots. But, you lowered yourself, too.

 

[Dave in Boston]

I say that too then a fight breaks out LOL

 

[Dave in Boston]

Shawn

I can see your point but my point wasnt about the outcome or what ever it was what I considered lack of courtesy or respect is all.

Someone calling me a dick head is not a lack of me being tolerant or not standing up when someone walks by there is not reason to start swearing and yelling at people when you are the one with the lack of courtesy.

the tapping, I did stop and did wait I missed it. Thats not what bothered me it was the response to me saying something to him afterwards that got me. So I guess I should have just walked away and let his sharking and disrespect go unchecked?

 

[Shawn Armstrong]

Shawn

I can see your point but my point wasnt about the outcome or what ever it was what I considered lack of courtesy or respect is all.

Someone calling me a dick head is not a lack of me being tolerant or not standing up when someone walks by there is not reason to start swearing and yelling at people when you are the one with the lack of courtesy.

You should have spoken directly to the guy sitting on the pocket, in a polite manner. And, if you were playing in a pool hall, people are constantly walking in front of your shot. It's a bar. Did you expect everyone to stop moving while you shoot? Get real. Learn to deal with distractions. Sounds like you like to make excuses from this seat.

[/QUOTE]the tapping, I did stop and did wait I missed it. Thats not what bothered me it was the response to me saying something to him afterwards that got me. So I guess I should have just walked away and let his sharking and disrespect go unchecked?[/QUOTE]

Yep, you should have just kept quiet. Sounds like sour grapes. Or, better yet, make the money ball and you wouldn't have been in the situation. The guy just broke and ran the final rack to beat you. He deserves congratulations (in the name of sportsmanship), not needling regarding him tapping his tip after a miscue.

Just my opinion. Don't ask for opinions if you really don't want any other than your own.

 

[Dave in Boston]

Double

Thats a good point and I am more tolerant during league and cheaper tournaments. But like I said I just dont understand it.

and the other two were a B and an A level players though

 

[poolnut]

I think you are right about the respect issue. People don't know how to play. I wouldn't know how it should be done if it weren't for this website. I began, and still play, with people like you mentioned. I grew up in a college town, and came to love the game so much because of the people I played with. The plus side: When playing in college bars, I always win. Aggravating as hell, but I never lose a game to any of them. I started, and continue to play in bars filled with 22 year old drunken idiots. I'm almost glad, because none of the things that you described would have bothered me. Now, like you said, I would expect more from some seasoned league player. Every time I rack, I leave the cue laying on the table, so there is no way someone will break. I take a step back and pick up the cue I'm playing with, and then the break takes place. The tip tapping, people walking by, whatever, wouldn't have bothered me simply because of where I play. I wish I had a poolhall that supported a league that was less than 2 hours from me, I'd never step foot in one of these places again. Make the best of it, keep your cool, and be the better person. Hopefully you can drill your shots regardless of what is happening in the background, and then there is no problem anyway.

 

[Dave in Boston]

Shawn

I am asking opinions and I appreciate it I do.

Like I said its not sour grapes as you said I shacked the guys hand after he beat me and truely meant it when I said nice shooting. He is a much better player then I am and I do appreciate good shooting and playing. And it wasnt needling I just pointed it out as friendly as I could. I could have turned around during the incident and started right there but I didnt.

And the guy sitting on the table and the other guy walking by his were playing together and I did politely say something to him that is why the second time he walked by I said something once again politely about it and he blew up not me until after he started screaming and calling me names

 

[poolnut]

Right you are DB. I've taken up a career in law enforcement, so I deal with every level of the general public. You hit the nail right on the head.

 

[Shawn Armstrong]

You centered the guy out in a public room. That was rude. You didn't need to make a public comment about him walking in front of you. I don't think he did it on purpose, judging from his reaction, so you were the one to instigate the fight. If someone did this to you, you would have barked, too. I'm just saying that maybe if these types of problems follow you, it may not be the other guy.......

I've had a few jerks that I have to play here and there. I really don't care. I figure the faster I torch them, the sooner the match is done. You could do a naked cartwheel in front of me while I'm down on the shot. It won't cause me to miss the ball. I cause me to miss the ball. If I'm distracted by something, it was me that chose to be distracted. Distractions don't miss shots. Players miss shots. Make any excuse you want as to why you dogged the ball.

 

[!Smorgass Bored]

Like 'Cueball'

D.I.B.
I've read all 16 posts in this thread and all that I have to say is, I think 'dick head' is one word.

Doughead



Dave wrote:
Someone calling me a dick head is not a lack of me being tolerant or not standing up when someone walks by there is not reason to start swearing and yelling at people when you are the one with the lack of courtesy.

 

[KMRUNOUT]

Dave,

I know what you are saying. I agree that there are many people who for lack of a better term are simply pieces of S**T. One of the hallmarks of modern society is an extraordinary defensiveness. People seem so afraid of being exposed for the worthless pile of crap that they are that they immediately perceive any simple question or comment as a threat, or some sort of attack.

Shawn Armstrong makes a good point though. I have had numerous altercations like this, and of all the techniques I have tried, I find the most effective is extreme kindness. I know better than most (because I have this problem) that you just might be the kind of person who lacks the ability to hide the contempt in your voice no matter how nicely you ask people to do what they should already know to do. I know there is a line you walk where on one side you want to bend over backward to be the bigger person, be very polite, give no possible place where they can jump on you. On the other hand, you want to ask nicely and sternly, and then when strike 2 comes you want to skip all words and just bash their face in with the butt of their cue, and then thank the bloody mess on the ground for their respect.

Maybe a good tactic would be to have a friend attempt to bother the hell out of you while you are shooting. This could be quite fun. Learn to play through distraction. Then you would have the very best ammunition you could have, which is the ability to shut them up on the table.

Your friends who didn't say anything are WRONG. They just didn't have the balls to stir the pot and be viewed as complainers. If it happened just as you say, they could have confirmed to the other guy that yes in fact he did make noise while you were shooting, and just left it at that. Maybe there is another element to this event that you just didn't notice. I doubt it, but maybe.

The guy who broke the balls before I was away from the table would not have got off so easy with me. That is simply rediculous.

So Dave, YES, respect is at a definite LOW. I don't know what the answer is. I think if you notice something like this and an altercation breaks out, you should definitely come to the aassisstance of the person.

Let me know if anything works for you, I could use the help myself.

Thanks,

Kerry

 

[jgpool]

Noun or Adj

D.I.B.
I've read all 16 posts in this thread and all that I have to say is, I think 'dick head' is one word.
Doughead



Dave wrote:
Someone calling me a dick head is not a lack of me being tolerant or not standing up when someone walks by there is not reason to start swearing and yelling at people when you are the one with the lack of courtesy.

Depends if it is a noun or an adjective!!

 

[Dave in Boston]

Smorgass thanks for the info lol

And yes to everyone about me being easily distracted and yes I do miss balls becuase of it but that really isnt what I was trying to get accross. But if you think that this is about me making accusses fine I dont have an issue with it. But I am just trying to figure out if its me or just some people in general that see this type of thing.

KM maybe your right even though I try and be polite maybe its just not comming out in my tone of voice or what ever. Thanks

 

[Shawn Armstrong]

Smorgass thanks for the info lol

And yes to everyone about me being easily distracted and yes I do miss balls becuase of it but that really isnt what I was trying to get accross. But if you think that this is about me making accusses fine I dont have an issue with it. But I am just trying to figure out if its me or just some people in general that see this type of thing.

KM maybe your right even though I try and be polite maybe its just not comming out in my tone of voice or what ever. Thanks

Don't think that we don't agree that there are an abundance of "colorful" characters in pool. We're not playing polo or croquet here. Pool halls, for the most part, have less than their fair share of "gentlemen" hanging out in them. I've always tried to play the part of a gent. Sometimes I want to say something, but I realize it's only at the expense of my character and integrity. So, I won't say sh!t if my mouth was full of it.

There are idiots in every pool room. Rise above.