i want to see a pic of you holding a 7lb ratyou want a pic of me holding a bank statement?
i want to see a pic of you holding a 7lb ratyou want a pic of me holding a bank statement?
If you want to be nice.Probably a camera malfunction, right?
Awwww, how cute! You learned how to cut and paste! Danny boy will be proud!
5 small all with the same serial number, Bobby be very careful with this moron.
Danny boy has to be heavier than that, right?i want to see a pic of you holding a 7lb rat
An excellent point sir!I don't why he wants a virtual event anyway, I seem to remember him saying that virtual events were not valid, because there could be magnets in the rails, hidden panels and other such nonsense.
Kid, count your blessings you didn't try to pull this move in a pool room. Pieces of you would be found in dark alleys.
DANNY isn't writing anything, Justin just decided to human centipede himself to Danny's buttJustnum promotes Dan's writing and touts him as a writer. Let's analyze, shall we?
Sample 1
"Included on the second page are blank table layouts. You can use them to track and measure your misses. If you notice the same issue multiple times, then its (sic) likely you have an issue to correct."
Captain Obvious award here. If I were your editor, Dan, I'd encourage you to rewrite this, eliminating the redundancy:
"Included on the second page are blank table layouts. Use them to track and measure misses, and after analyzing them for patterns, focus on correcting the types of shots you miss more often than others."
Sample 2
"Train your mind to recognize common patterns and learn how to play them. Its (sic) called practicing, practice these shots until you mastered them."
First off, are you referencing runout patterns, or patterns representing weaknesses in the student's game? Assuming the latter, to eliminate confusion with the commonly-used word to describe table runout order ("patterns"), I'd rewrite this as:
"Practice to overcome your identified weaknesses until you have mastered them."
If you actually meant fixing shots the student commonly misses, you've already made that point in Sample 1.
If you indeed meant runout patterns, you've mixed your messages.
Dan, I don't agree with the tone and content of most of your posts, but I do applaud you for attempting to create coaching material. Writing well is not as easy as it may seem. Clarity and succinctness are difficult to achieve.
Enough for now. Best of luck as you continue to pursue writing.
I was generously giving them both the benefit of the doubt. There's enough vitriol in this thread to discourage me from critiquing the writing the way I really wanted.DANNY isn't writing anything, Justin just decided to human centipede himself to Danny's butt
Neither have earned the benefit of any doubtI was generously giving them both the benefit of the doubt. There's enough vitriol in this thread to discourage me from critiquing the writing the way I really wanted.
Nearly 7,000 posts support your statement but I am feeling gracious today. Dunno why.Neither have earned the benefit of any doubt
Excuses ExcusesI post a pic with the money and still more character attacks.
If this is what business will be like in the future, its not worth it.
You post a pic with multiple bills all having the same serial number and you are surprised with the response?I post a pic with the money and still more character attacks.
If this is what business will be like in the future, its not worth it.
You didn't expect anyone to believe that was real did you? You have proven how dim you are but c'mon. Even you aren't that dim.I post a pic with the money and still more character attacks.
If this is what business will be like in the future, its not worth it.
Promise???If this is what business will be like in the future, its not worth it.