Mark Twain the man Obsessed!!!

RunoutJJ

Professional Banger
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Here is a Sports Illustrated article on the great author and his prolific love for billiards and pool....




Shooting Pool With Mark Twain
Billiards was more than a game to the great humorist—it was the obsession of his later years



The red-headed proprietor of the pool hall said he would play me left-handed. It hurt my pride, but I played him. We banked for first shot, and he won it. Then he commenced to play, and I commenced to chalk my cue to get ready to play, and he went on playing, and I went on chalking my cue; and he played and I chalked all through that game. When he had run his string out I said: 'That's wonderful!, perfectly wonderful! If you can play that way left-handed, what could you do right-handed?'

" 'Couldn't do anything,' he said. 'I'm a left-handed man.' "

The pigeon in this anecdote was Mark Twain, whose professed naivet� belied his intimate knowledge of billiards. Twain was watching a series of championship billiard matches at Madison Square Garden in 1906 when he told the tale. One of the contenders on the floor of the arena was the youthful champion of the game, Willie Hoppe. When later asked for his recollection of Twain, Hoppe said he was "one of the most enthusiastic billiard fans I ever knew."

Testimony of this sort, though illustrative, is misleading, for Mark Twain was not content merely to watch the game. He had a billiard room in his home in which he played billiards and pocket billiards as often as he could (right). Friends visiting his home on Fifth Avenue in New York sometimes complained of the author's pleas for "just one more game." The billiard sessions, convened three or four nights a week, always lasted until 3 or 4 in the morning, and would find Twain as "fresh, buoyant and eager for the game" as when they began. One by one his opponents would desert him, pleading exhaustion, and the tireless writer would be left to knock the balls about alone.

This fascination for the game of billiards led to many humorous situations about the Clemens home. Katy Leary, the Clemenses' loyal housekeeper, described one such incident in this fashion: "Mr. Clemens spent most of his time up in the billiard room, writing or playing billiards. One day when I went in, and he was shooting the balls around the table, I noticed smoke coming up from the hearth. I called John O'Neill, the gardener, and Patrick, and we began taking up the hearth to see what was the matter. Mr. Clemens kept on playing billiards right along and paid no attention to what we were doing. Finally, when we got the hearth up, flame and smoke came out into the room. The house was on fire. Mr. Clemens noticed then what we were about, and went over to the corner where there were some bottle fire extinguishers. He took one down and threw it into the flames. This put them out a good deal, and he took up his cue, went back to the table and began to shoot the balls around again as if nothing had happened. Mrs. Clemens came in just then and said, 'Why the house is afire!' "

" 'Yes, I know it,' he replied, but went on playing."

Center of activity

Twain was remarkably indifferent to most of the homes he occupied, other than to stipulate that there be a "proper billiard room." His ideas of what was "proper" in the way of a billiard room must have caused many raised eyebrows. He insisted, for example, that they all be done in bright red tones. The scarlet billiard room in the Clemens house became the focal point of each day's routine. Twain did most of his writing, dictated his correspondence and usually received his callers there.

As the years passed, Twain became increasingly reclusive. He told the servants to admit only his close business acquaintances and friends. The exceptions to the rule were billiard players. The door was always open to the neighbor, business acquaintance or even chance caller who could wield a respectable cue. His biographer, Albert Bigelow Paine, attributes a great measure of his success in gathering material for Twain's biography to his status as a "resident billiardist" in the Clemens household.

But it was a frustrating experience for Paine. He patiently courted his subject's attention only to be rebuffed by Twain's passion for billiards. The biographer tells us that after the arrival of a new billiard table at the house in New York, his "morning dictations became a secondary interest." Twain would hurry these morning chores along, and conclude with: "Now we'll proceed to more serious matters—it's your shot."



These games, following the morning meetings, lasted eight or nine hours on the weekdays and 10 or 12 hours on Sunday. Paine, however, was rewarded for those long hours at the billiard table by rare insights into Mark Twain.

Temperamental billiardist

Twain was never a stoic player. He would become quite animated when making a "good run," and would sink into muttering doldrums when he missed a favorite shot. He was apt to "become short with his opponent...even faultfinding," but inevitably "a reaction would set in, and he would be seized with remorse." The remorse was often expressed in wry humor. After one outburst of temper, Twain turned to Paine and said apologetically, "This is a most amusing game. When you play badly it amuses me, and when I play badly and lose my temper, it certainly must amuse you."

The game of billiards gradually came to mean more to Twain than simply knocking balls around a green-felted surface. For him life, limited by the competitor's skill, courage and resourcefulness, was caught up in the 5-by-10 microcosm of the billiard table. A difficult lie on the billiard green was like a troublesome manuscript he was wrestling with. He would look over the problem; then applying all the skill he possessed, make his try. At this point, he philosophized, "If your ball glides along in the intense and immediate vicinity of the object ball, and a score seems exquisitely imminent, lift one leg; then one shoulder; then squirm your body around in sympathy with the direction of the moving ball; and at the instant when the ball seems on the point of colliding, throw up your arms violently. Your cue will probably break a chandelier, but no matter; you have done what you could to help the final score."
 
Thanks for finding this. I'm a huge fan of Twain's work.

I love juicygirls sig pic of Twain and the quote "The game of billiards has destroyed my naturally sweet disposition." Priceless Twain.
 
i <3 Mark Twain

Thanks for the OP for the Fantastic piece. I love to read about MT, I always think that's basically what I would've said.... except he said it better!

Yup that's me... That quote suits me very well too. I love that picture of him. And yes, maybe next year I will get the Mark Twain poster... Hopefully the hubs is watching this thread :).... hint hint ;)

My 9 year old read The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and Adventures of Huckleberry Finn last summer. She is such an over achiever. I love her too, I think I'll keep her :)


MT was a brilliant writer and loved the game of billiards.
 
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The billiard table, as a Sabbath-breaker can beat any coal-breaker in Pennsylvania and give it 30 in the game.
- Letter to Emilie Rogers, November 1906.
.
I wonder why a man should prefer a good billiard-table to a poor one; and why he should prefer straight cues to crooked ones; and why he should prefer round balls to chipped ones; and why he should prefer a level table to one that slants; and why he should prefer responsive cushions to the dull and unresponsive kind.

I wonder at these things, because when we examine the matter we find that the essentials involved in billiards are as competently and exhaustively furnished by a bad billiard outfit as they are by the best one.

One of the essentials is amusement. Very well, if there is any more amusement to be gotten out of the one outfit than out of the other, the facts are in favor of the bad outfit. The bad outfit will always furnish thirty per cent. more fun for the players and for the spectators than will the good outfit.

Another essential of the game is that the outfit shall give the players full opportunity to exercise their best skill, and display it in a way to compel the admiration of the spectators. Very well, the bad outfit is nothing behind the good one in this regard. It is a difficult matter to estimate correctly the eccentricities of chipped balls and a slanting table, and make the right allowance for them and secure a count; the finest kind of skill is required to accomplish the satisfactory result.

Another essential of the game is that it shall add to the interest of the game by furnishing opportunities to bet. Very well, in this regard no good outfit can claim any advantage over a bad one. I know, by experience, that a bad outfit is as valuable as the best one; that an outfit that couldn`t be sold at auction for seven dollars is just as valuable for all the essentials of the game as an outfit that is worth a thousand. ...

Last winter, here in New York, I saw Hoppe and Schaefer and Sutton and the three or four other billiard champions of world-wide fame contend against each other, and certainly the art and science displayed were a wonder to see; yet I saw nothing there in the way of science and art that was more wonderful than shots which I had seen Texas Tom make on the wavy surface of that poor old wreck in the perishing saloon at Jackass Gulch forty years before.
- Mark Twain's Autobiography, Chapters from the North American Review, November 1907
 
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Last winter, here in New York, I saw Hoppe and Schaefer and Sutton and the three or four other billiard champions of world-wide fame contend against each other, and certainly the art and science displayed were a wonder to see; yet I saw nothing there in the way of science and art that was more wonderful than shots which I had seen Texas Tom make on the wavy surface of that poor old wreck in the perishing saloon at Jackass Gulch forty years before.
- Mark Twain's Autobiography, Chapters from the North American Review, November 1907



That right there..... Was just plain awesome. Even way back then there where giant killers littered about the vast young country we call home. Sounds to me Texas Tom would make Hoppe draw a bead or two :cool:
 
JJ and all;

I live maybe 40 minutes drive from Mark Twain's home in Hartford, CT where the majority of what is considered his most important books were written. I am especially proud of the fact that many of these were written in his billiard room. :cool:

I got some pictures which I wasn't supposed to but it was too much for me to resist. :embarrassed2:

Below is the post from 6-11 when I went, plus a few pics.

What a room!

best,
brian kc
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Went to Mark Twain's House Today - w/Pics - 06-20-2011, 08:19 PM

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As many of you know, billiards had a major impact on the life of Mark Twain. He has had much to say on the subject and just below I will share my favorite story that he told in April, 1906.

He spent seventeen years living with his wife and kids in a home he had built for them in Hartford, CT. "Tom Sawyer", "Huckleberry Finn" and "Prince & The Pauper" were just three of the monumental works that were written right there at his desk in the 3rd floor billiard room in Hartford. They said it was not uncommon for Twain to be distracted between the two passions to the extent he would often end up with some of his writing strewn around the pool table.

Pictures were frowned upon (hey, that sounds like something MT might have said) on the inside part of this tour so I had to pull a move where I lagged behind waiting for the guide to begin his descent down the stairs. This allowed me to quickly take these two photos (see below).

What an incredible home and the feeling I had in the billiard room - I was definitely experiencing history-induced goosebumps. If only the magnificent hand-stenciling on the ceiling could talk...

The table was a gift to him by a friend from Redding, CT and there was a BBC wall rack with some non-period, but still fairly old, cues.

It was a great day.

I hope you all enjoy my favorite MT story, the two pics I heroically took , as well as another link below where other MT billiards related quotes can be found.

Mark Twain Anecdote

While attending a billiard tourney on the evening of April 24, 1906, Mr. Twain was called on to speak. He told this story:

The game of billiards has destroyed my naturally sweet disposition. Once, when I was an underpaid reporter in Virginia City, whenever I wished to play billiards I went out to look for an easy mark. One day a stranger came to town and opened a billiard parlor. I looked him over casually. When he proposed a game, I answered, "All right."

"Just knock the balls around a little so that I can get your gait," he said; and when I had done so, he remarked: "I will be perfectly fair with you. I'll play you left-handed." I felt hurt, for he was cross-eyed, freckled, and had red hair, and I determined to teach him a lesson. He won first shot, ran out, took my half-dollar, and all I got was the opportunity to chalk my cue.

"If you can play like that with your left hand," I said, "I'd like to see you play with your right."

"I can't," he said. "I'm left-handed."

The other link:

http://www.twainquotes.com/Billiards.html

Best,
Brian kc
 

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Have any of you seen Holbrook's Twain in person?
I watched some of it on YouTube, but I want to try and see one before Mr. Holbrook has to quit.
I know he does at least one a year on MT's birthday.

Sent from my SCH-M828C using Tapatalk 2
 
I can't wait to make a family trip to the Northeast. I've been trying to get there with no luck.

I'll add this to my list of places to see and things to do. :D
Thanks
Loren
JJ and all;

I live maybe 40 minutes drive from Mark Twain's home in Hartford, CT where the majority of what is considered his most important books were written. I am especially proud of the fact that many of these were written in his billiard room. :cool:

I got some pictures which I wasn't supposed to but it was too much for me to resist. :embarrassed2:

Below is the post from 6-11 when I went, plus a few pics.

What a room!

best,
 
Advice To Little Girls

"Good little girls ought not to make mouths at their teachers for every trifling offense. This retaliation should only be resorted to under peculiarly aggravated circumstances."

"If you have nothing but a rag-doll stuffed with sawdust, while one of your more fortunate little playmates has a costly China one, you should treat her with a show of kindness nevertheless. And you ought not to attempt to make a forcible swap with her unless your conscience would justify you in it, and you know you are able to do it."

"Good little girls always show marked deference for the aged. You ought never to ‘sass’ old people unless they ‘sass’ you first."

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/03/advice-to-little-girls-mark-twain_n_3007763.html
 
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