Mark Twain's take on pool equipment

[Cdryden]

I came across this text while doing a little research for my pool blog, it reminded me of this forum and made me laugh. I thought some of you who haven't seen it before might enjoy it.

"I wonder why a man should prefer a good billiard-table to a poor one; and why he should prefer straight cues to crooked ones; and why he should prefer round balls to chipped ones; and why he should prefer a level table to one that slants; and why he should prefer responsive cushions to the dull and unresponsive kind.
I wonder at these things, because when we examine the matter we find that the essentials involved in billiards are as competently and exhaustively furnished by a bad billiard outfit as they are by the best one. One of the essentials is amusement. Very well, if there is any more amusement to be gotten out of the one outfit than out of the other, the facts are in favor of the bad outfit. The bad outfit will always furnish thirty per cent. more fun for the players and for the spectators than will the good outfit.
Another essential of the game is that the outfit shall give the players full opportunity to exercise their best skill, and display it in a way to compel the admiration of the spectators. Very well, the bad outfit is nothing behind the good one in this regard. It is a difficult matter to estimate correctly the eccentricities of chipped balls and a slanting table, and make the right allowance for them and secure a count; the finest kind of skill is required to accomplish the satisfactory result.
Another essential of the game is that it shall add to the interest of the game by furnishing opportunities to bet. Very well, in this regard no good outfit can claim any advantage over a bad one. I know, by experience, that a bad outfit is as valuable as the best one; that an outfit that couldn't be sold at auction for seven dollars is just as valuable for all the essentials of the game as an outfit that is worth a thousand. ... Last winter, here in New York, I saw Hoppe and Schaefer and Sutton and the three or four other billiard champions of world-wide fame contend against each other, and certainly the art and science displayed were a wonder to see; yet I saw nothing there in the way of science and art that was more wonderful than shots which I had seen Texas Tom make on the wavy surface of that poor old wreck in the perishing saloon at Jackass Gulch forty years before."
- Mark Twain's Autobiography, Chapters from the North American Review, November 1907

 

[pwd72s]

Thanks for the post. Always a pleasure to read words by Mark Twain...

 

[1on1pooltournys]

I ran across this long ago. Samuel Clemens was a huge billiard enthusiast. He would invite people to his home and then offer to play them. If they declined his request the visit was short and they would never be invited back. If they accepted the play would sometimes last for a couple days.

Samuel Clemens was a unique person. It is kind of amusing to me because it seems like most of us who are enthusiast of the cue sports are all "unique" in our own "Sam Clemens" kind of way.

 

[DogsPlayingPool]

Interestingly, Clemen's own man cave had very nice equipment in it. He was a novelist, after all.

 

[rayjay]

Yes, Clemens had a choice and chose the good stuff...like we all would.

 

[12310bch]

I find that complaints about the equipment are more often than not sour grapes or sharking . Personally, I will play on any equipment offered without
complaint, try to learn the quirks and use them to my advantage.After all, my opponent is playing on the same table. I have won more money on tables that have beer stains on them and rails that go 'thud' when struck with a ball than I have on perfectly kept equipment.

In the past when I would walk into a crowded bar with a beat up barbox and 4 or 5 quarters on the rail I knew that I was going to drink all night for free.

Thanks for your post. Mark Twain rocks.

 

[blah blah]

Somewhere he writes about being stuck somewhere with a broken down old pool table- nothing was right on it. Balls, cloth, rails- everything was broken, bumpy, ripped and horrible. After so many days of total and complete boredom, they finally broke down and played on that mess.

And pretty soon they're jumping and hollering, betting, cussing and laughing- they spent days, maybe weeks, playing on that embarassment of a table, and had possibly even more fun than they would have had on a perfect setup.

Of course he bought nice for his own home, but he went out of his way to say that fun can be had on any pool table.