Name some woofin' quotes that you thought were very funny

At Grand-Olive Billiards in St. Louis in the late 1960s, local shortstop Rotten Mouth Johnson was berating someone and said, "You don't know if a basketball is round, square or diagonal. You're a f*ckin' idiot."
 
a guy i had met at the pool room can speak ok but his hearing isn’t great

one day he catches my eye from the next table, rubs his fingers together, and mouths the word “money?”
 
JAM said:
... I just woke up, and I'm fresh as a daisy. The early bird always gets the worm.

Nighty night! 👍
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I knew a couple different guys nicknamed Wormy. Wouldn't pay for them to get up early!

I always thought this a good excuse to sleep late, who wants a worm for breakfast anyway.

I know I am responding to an ancient post but I did enjoy our early morning conversations. You would be fresh out of bed and I would be winding down before trying to get some sleep!

Adding to the original thread, I think I am borrowing from David Harcrow who said a favorite of his brother's, Country Calvin, was "He wouldn't bet fat meat was greasy!"

My old partner never had to say much to get a game. Just trying to play pool with a bridge was plenty!

I tried this one a few times traveling: I would stroll in and sit on a stool trying to look a little too casual, "Let me try a glass of those billiards. I heard tell they were good!"

In some small towns when I was passing through: "I'm the best y'all ever seen! I beat Wally Mosconi."

Hu
 
Frankie Hernandez after offering the last 4 and the breaks to a local shortstop and being refused. He took a dollar out of his pocket balled it up and threw it at the guy and said, “here, put this towards your heart transplant fund”.
 
Badbeat13 said:
I enjoy hearing some woofin' as long as it's friendly or funny. I've heard a lot of funny things said in poolrooms over the years, just wondering if anyone wants to share some of the funny banter that they've heard. The person who did the woofin' can remain anonymous or you can say who said it.


One of the funny ones I heard actually came from a casino that my brother dealt at. There was a gentleman who is deceased now that always came in with this announcement. " My name's Campbell and I'm here to gamble,with any man from any land, any game you can name, any amount you can count!"

Classic, if you ask me.
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Ronnie Sypher told a guy "if you heart was white, you couldn't find it in a salt shaker".
 
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