Need help with anger/unsportsman like conduct while playing.

dereklovejoy

dereklovejoy

How Can i get better?
Silver Member
I get frustrated even angry at the table when i miss shots that i should make or just make position mistakes at the table. I have hit my cue on the ground and snapped it before (ok ok a few times). Ive gone through about 4 cues like that. Something just comes over me and i loose it. There is no excuse for it and i should have to forfit anytime i do it, no question.

Anyone got any mental excercises that they do when they start to get frustrated. Maybe just anger managment for me. I wonder how many pool players actually do like yoga or meditation drills, stuff like that to stay calm when things dont go their way.
 
Your sharking youself !! Not only that your letting who your playing with no that your mental game is gone .
When you miss try to make the other guy wonder if you ment to miss (hustling him) or you really missed .
Now you've turned it around and got into there head on a ball you ment to make but didn't ...
It's almost as good as making the ball
Later Bill
 
1.) Enroll in an anger management course. This kind of rage will only grow into other aspects of your life until one day you're choking out your girlfriend.

2.) Buy Phil Cappelle's book "A Mind For Pool". It helped me a lot, especially in recognizing my own responsibility in my failures and in learning to accept, forgive and learn from those mistakes.

3.) If all else fails buy a tazer, a ball-gag and a roll of duct tape. Give it to a close friend that you really, really trust. If you get out of line, he'll know what to do with it. ;)
 
dereklovejoy said:
I get frustrated even angry at the table when i miss shots that i should make or just make position mistakes at the table. I have hit my cue on the ground and snapped it before (ok ok a few times). Ive gone through about 4 cues like that. Something just comes over me and i loose it. There is no excuse for it and i should have to forfit anytime i do it, no question.

Anyone got any mental excercises that they do when they start to get frustrated. Maybe just anger managment for me. I wonder how many pool players actually do like yoga or meditation drills, stuff like that to stay calm when things dont go their way.
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My good friend Bud Harper once told me -"if you never went to medical school, then don't expect to be a brain surgeon". I am pretty sure that he meant that if you do not put in the practice, or seek some professional instruction, then you should never expect to play at the highest level. For years I also got upset with this and that on the table, then one tourney I played in, my opponent, whom I had played many times before told me, "why are mad at missing that shot? You ALWAYS miss that shot......"
That changed my whole attitude. I learned how to properly practice.
 
dereklovejoy said:
I get frustrated even angry at the table when i miss shots that i should make or just make position mistakes at the table. I have hit my cue on the ground and snapped it before (ok ok a few times). Ive gone through about 4 cues like that. Something just comes over me and i loose it. There is no excuse for it and i should have to forfit anytime i do it, no question.

Anyone got any mental excercises that they do when they start to get frustrated. Maybe just anger managment for me. I wonder how many pool players actually do like yoga or meditation drills, stuff like that to stay calm when things dont go their way.
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What do you like most about the game?
 
dereklovejoy said:
I get frustrated even angry at the table when i miss shots that i should make or just make position mistakes at the table. I have hit my cue on the ground and snapped it before (ok ok a few times). Ive gone through about 4 cues like that. Something just comes over me and i loose it. There is no excuse for it and i should have to forfit anytime i do it, no question.

Anyone got any mental excercises that they do when they start to get frustrated. Maybe just anger managment for me. I wonder how many pool players actually do like yoga or meditation drills, stuff like that to stay calm when things dont go their way.
Click to expand...

I think the problem is easy to solve, whenever you feel like hitting something or breaking your cue, just picture the cute little girl you are using for your Avatar, I mean how could be mad at that little Angel.

Have a great night
 
Honestly, just remove yourself from the game, the shot, the cue, the score, the pool hall... I get like that a lot, and the best thing I can do is try and attain a zen sort of state.

No anger, no joy, no disappointment. It gets easier and easier to do. I used to have one of the meanest tempers along, and now that's pretty much a thing of the past for me. It's also allowed me not to stay hung up on a shot, and unable to play the rest of the game with a clear state of mind.

It takes practice, but it pays dividends. Stay calm, realize the anger, let it go. Get back to the table when it's your turn, and play what's in front of you. Then when you're making balls and feeling good, start having fun again!
 
Never miss...

No matter how well you play ... you will get beat!
No matter how bad you play ... you will win !
If you get into a competition of ANY kind, you will win and lose.
The professionals try to maintain their control...breathing, timing, pace, just to name a few. I saw a straight pool player, run 12 then miss...the opponent ran 100! Next game, player broke, then the opponent ran 100! This happened 5 times in a row. He quit and played another player, his new opponent ... RAN 100! He is still playing 20 years later and is still a good player.
Just keep hitting them in the holes and try to maintain your control. My best idea for your problem ...try a little breathing control when you approach the table AND when you go to your seat. It should help.
 
Shades of Earl!

I knew this guy with the same problem. He broke probably 10 cues in the time I knew him.

He'd miss a ball and slam his cue down on the table. Sometimes he would catch the rail and the cue would snap. Miss, slam! Miss, slam! Miss, slam and snap!

I was kidding with him one time telling him that slamming the cue down when he missed had become part of his stroke.

About a week later, he came to me and said I was right about the slamming becoming part of his stroke. He said he had done it for so long that it was an involuntary reaction when he didn't see the ball drop.

All I told him was it takes three weeks to change a habit if you think and work hard at it.

He did it and it worked.

He, also, had a habit of taking cursing into an art form when he was at the table. He never changed that habit even when we made the rule that you couldn't talk $#@% to the balls while they were still moving. LOL

All I know is getting PO'd while playing wastes a lot of energy. It wears me out.

Stones
 
This book will change your life... "Pleasures of Small Motions"... buy it, read it. You can get it off Amazon (like I did) for like $14.

Also, try breathing techniques and look at something green or blue (like the felt of the table). These colors can calm you and slow your heart-rate :)
 
just ask the best mentor this ............earl strickland.
you ask why his name is not in capital letters............oh you have to ask me about that :rolleyes:
 
That's The Book!!!!

AZE said:
This book will change your life... "Pleasures of Small Motions"... buy it, read it. You can get it off Amazon (like I did) for like $14.

Also, try breathing techniques and look at something green or blue (like the felt of the table). These colors can calm you and slow your heart-rate :)
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Rep to you!!!

I've been trying to remember the name of that book for weeks now.

Excellent book, 5 stars.:D :D
 
??????????????

You might need medication!!!!!! I take valium when I play to keep from attacking myself.
Pinocchio
 
dereklovejoy said:
I get frustrated even angry at the table when i miss shots that i should make or just make position mistakes at the table. I have hit my cue on the ground and snapped it before (ok ok a few times). Ive gone through about 4 cues like that. Something just comes over me and i loose it. There is no excuse for it and i should have to forfit anytime i do it, no question.

Anyone got any mental excercises that they do when they start to get frustrated. Maybe just anger managment for me. I wonder how many pool players actually do like yoga or meditation drills, stuff like that to stay calm when things dont go their way.
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Ask yourself this question.

Which version of you do you think your opponent would rather play for money?

1. The version that is very calm, calculating & looks like he's doing quantum physics in his head when he walks to the table.

2. The version that throws a temper tantrum & break things when he gets a bad roll, or misses a shot?

Here's another thing to consider. You probaly started getting mad at your self in an effort to stop making "stupid" mistakes, or missing easy shots.

Has it helped? If it hasn't, then it's time to try somthing else. :D

hope this helps.
 
Tough Love

Basically, you think you are better than what you are or want to be.

There are NO shortcuts, you have to put the time in on the table,
and there is a difference between a productive practice and just knocking
some balls around.

You have to train for it, just like any other athlete in any other sport. Only then will you realize it is a sport, and not just a game.

A good instructor can help you along faster than anything.

Any real good player probably has spent 3-4 hours just thinking about Pool for every hour they have put into on the table.

Think about this? What is the right way to learn a sport? Do you approach learning the sport the right way? If not, why? It takes discipline, both mentally and physically, and even emotionally.
 
sky.. said:
Buy a very expensive cue. Let me see you whack the table with it.
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better yet, have yourself a cue signed by pool legends! I'm sure you'll be more concerned about preserving a priceless possession rather than destroying it. but just because I said that , doesn't mean that you are goin to put your anger on the balls and try throwin' 'em on people. :D

seriously, have yourself enrolled in an anger management study group. it helps ! ;)

I think Ralf underwent such before.
 
AZE said:
This book will change your life... "Pleasures of Small Motions"... buy it, read it. You can get it off Amazon (like I did) for like $14.

Also, try breathing techniques and look at something green or blue (like the felt of the table). These colors can calm you and slow your heart-rate :)
Click to expand...

Great book and great advice re: the breathing. You have to stop immediately when you feel the urge, close your eyes, take a deep breath and say something to yourself that will calm you. You have to invent your own calming phrase. Visualize a calm pond, ducks on the water, big oak tree, flowers, sunset, see yourself lying there watching the pond.
 
I believe we are our worst enemies sometimes. We forget there are good rolls and bad rolls. It is so frustrating when you run a difficult rack down and you miscue or rattle the OB on the money shot. I haven't busted a cue but I have slammed the table with my hand. That hurts......

I was playing a league match a couple of weeks ago and had one of the worst games ever. My opponent was no different. If anything could go wrong it did. Bottom line is I finally calm down during my 6th inning at the table. I run out my last two balls with a cut on the 8 ball about 3 inches from the corner pocket. It is a duck. Of course I miss the 8 ball because I overcut it. I don't remember if I miscued or the cueball skidded on me. My opponent runs his 3 balls out with a miscue on his last shot. The ball goes in and he shoots the 8 in for the win.

I started second guessing myself. What can go wrong now? I started becoming gun shy. I wanted to curl up because I was so embarrassed. I'm so pissed off that I go outside to the end of the parking lot and scream/shout my head off. I remember it's only a game. I go back inside and proceed to shoot lights out the rest of the night.

While it doesn't help at the moment... remember you will have good rolls and you will have bad rolls. Embrass the good times and forget the bad. In the big picture it's still only a game with some degree of luck.
 
JimS said:
Great book and great advice re: the breathing. You have to stop immediately when you feel the urge, close your eyes, take a deep breath and say something to yourself that will calm you. You have to invent your own calming phrase. Visualize a calm pond, ducks on the water, big oak tree, flowers, sunset, see yourself lying there watching the pond.
Click to expand...

Good advice, imho.

You have about 3 seconds to squelch the anger response before it gets the best of you. Do as JimS suggests and create a recipe to use when you think you're going to get angry. Use it immediately before you get "caught up" in the emotion. I like manwon's idea of seeing your avatar and reflecting on that. Because you can think of only one thing at a time, it will push out your anger before it gets too out of control. But you probably can design a better one for yourself, with thought.

I have an ingredient in my shot called, "Control Emotions." I use it after every shot, made or missed, to keep myself in line with my goals. I've done it for so long that it is pretty automatic to me. Practice that, even if you make the shot, and see if you don't start to gain better emotional control after your misses.

One other thing that I've repeated here so often: The miss did NOT make you mad; YOU made you mad by choosing your reaction to the miss. Therefore you can change what emotion you choose. This paradigm is the first step to controlling whatever emotion you're experiencing. Google Albert Ellis for more on this.

fwiw,

Jeff Livingston
 
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