negative teammates

dmgwalsh

dmgwalsh

Straight Pool Fanatic
Silver Member
I already posted this on another forum, but I'd like to get input from you guys.

I just started playing in a bca 8 ball league this year. I'd never played ball in hand before, but I'm learning more and more about the game. I'm off and on. some nights I go 3 and 3, some nights 0 and 6, one night 6 and 0, one night 5 and 1. Some nights I win some I thought I should have lost and some nights the opposite is true.
Anyway, one of my teammates is very negative after every shot. I cringe to come back to my seat after missing a shot. He makes a pained expression and says "You should have made that. We need some points. You can't keep missing those.He's gonna run out." He says things like that to me and the other two teammates when they are playing. He even said things like that to me when I went 6 and 0. The other team member who got me involved says that's just how he is. He says they gave him a mock trophy once as most valuable player for the opposition. I tried to tell him that he should encourage teammates so that they do better, but he says he likes to criticize. I've dished it back to him because he doesn't really play any better than me, but that is counterproductive and doesn't stop him. I know that if I can play through his crap, I will be mentally stronger, but I don't look forward to driving round trip almost two hours every league night to experience his special gift.
I'm not the only one who feels this way on the team. I don't really want to quit because there are a lot of good people in this league. Any ideas on how to handle him? Or should i just suck it up and try to play through it?
D
 
Tell him to never speak to you again. Then kick him in his nuts.

Is we more smarter than the other site?

-pigr
 
hmmm...kick him out of the league? if that's entirely possible that is. or just simply tell him to shut up? i know that can be a little rude but he should see how rude he is, instead of getting you encouraged, it gets you down and that does affect your entire game.

gold
 
Hey...when guys is right...by golly they're right!! How can you go wrong with advice like this?

I think I'd get together with the rest of the team and have a pow-wow to determine if this guys negativity bothers them as much as it does you. If it's discovered that it is a problem for the others then I'd recommend that all of you have a talk with this guy and let him know that he's on probation and any more of the negativity will result in him being removed from the team.

His behavior is bad for the team in general and this cannot be allowed. Nothing personal.....we all like you we just don't like your comments about our play. Your comments are discourageing and we need comments that are encourageing. Letting him know that it's not him, it's his behavior may take some of the sting out of the confrontation.
 
a talk from the whole league would surely help, that ought to embarrass him but your point is not to embarrass him but if it's the only way he'll stop then let's just say desperate situations call for desperate measures. i hope everything works out...

gold
 
Is that guy some kinda "leader" of your team? Do any of you criticise HIM when he plays? How does he react then?

I think the only solution is to kick him out of your team. Yes, even if he's a good player who can run rack after rack which I very much doubt.
 
Sure, it may build your mental toughness, but what's the point in playing if you don't enjoy the game?

Next time he does it, say to him 'when you talk to me like that you only make me play worse'.
That makes it absolutely clear to him.

If he does it again, just tell him to shut up. Nice and blunt.

If that still doesn't work, burn him to the ground.

:)
 
amateur said:
Is that guy some kinda "leader" of your team? ?

The team is named after him and it is captained by a childhood friend of his.

Do any of you criticise HIM when he plays? How does he react then?

I did it last week. Pointedly. Sarcastically. " how could you miss a shot like that?! You're no good!" He said "what?" (He's in his 60s and hard of hearing) and then he just grinned.


I think the only solution is to kick him out of your team. Yes, even if he's a good player who can run rack after rack which I very much doubt.
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He's got a worse handicap than me. He's not that good.
 
I would ask the team to stay over for just a couple of minutes one night and then tell them that you are thinking of quitting the team because of the way this guy behaves. The team then has the option of allowing you to quit or dealing with this idiot. One way or the other, you'll probably resolve this issue. I wouldn't leave the team without doing this first. You have to realize that once you do this, an action is going to probably be taken, i.e., you'll either say goodbye to the team, this guy will be asked to leave or maybe after everyone expresses their frustration about this guy, he'll either change or leave on his own.

Good luck!
 
If you actually play as good as he does, play him a race to 9, loser keeps his damn mouth shut from then on. Just don't lose.
 
When he's in the middle of a match you could just tell him that you slept with his sister, mom, wife, or girlfriend, whomever gets his attention. See how he likes the feeling.

Stupid answers aside... talk to your other teammates and see what they say. I would advocate kicking him off the team because he obviously lowers your ability to win/enjoy the game.
 
I'll try again next week to communicate to him that I would appreciate if he could keep his mouth shut. I'll talk to the other two members and perhaps if we did it together, he might listen.

If he won't stop, I'll just leave the team. He's been on it a lot longer than me and if he and his buddy want to use it as a spot to vent their bad manners, they can do it without me.

Thanks for all the input. I thought maybe I was being too sensitive. Dennis
 
In that situation I think that there is a difference between being sensitive and tactful. With whatever happens, either him leaving or you, it'll improve your situation. An environment like that is no way to cultivate improvement in your game. Ultimately it seems better if he leaves, because you did nothing wrong. However if it comes to you finding another team, when you play him the next time, humiliate him like the mark he is.
 
If the guy really aint that good then next time he pipes up tell him "look chump, my game is far stronger then yours and after this match we can play some $100 sets till you are broke if ya got the balls ya lippy prick" Then proceed to kick his ass in sets for $100 and every time he misses smirk and comment how much he sucks while you are running out and kicking his ass. I think he might not be so yappy the next time if he ever shows his face again.

If you are not quite good enough to assure the victory get one of your buddies that he does not know yet who is better to come and watch the match and the minute he starts lipping your buddy can put him in his place with the above action. I love mouth pieces like this, they cannot say no to a challange of gambling due to their monster egos and usually will lose the shirt on their back. Just make sure you show no mercy, take the guys cue, his cab fare, leave him with nothing even if he has a tab with the bar. Make the bugger clean dishes for a couple hours and then walk home if ya can.
 
I have been fortunate to play in a very strong BCA league out of Modesto, CA. This league has been around for several years now and I have played on several teams. Team pool is an interesting activity, it puts a whole different kind of heat on you than does gambling or tournament play. NOBODY wants to let down the team. If you have a negative influence on your team then it is your obligation to either get rid of him or move on yourself. You should have a team meeting and discuss this. Make sure the team knows why you are considering leaving. Most of the time they will do the right thing and reign the guy in, if they don't then it's not worth sticking around for anyway. I think league pool is great as it gives a player an opportunity to really talk about situations and strategies with teammates. Negative influences should be avoided at all costs. Surround yourself by excellence and you'll see what it takes to be excellent.
 
I happened to have a similar incident when I captained a Valley league team. I am usually a mellow person, but will speak my mind. I plainly told him he had two options, tone it down or be replaced. He opted for the first as we were in contention for the top spot in our league.
 
Celtic said:
If the guy really aint that good then next time he pipes up tell him "look chump, my game is far stronger then yours and after this match we can play some $100 sets till you are broke if ya got the balls ya lippy prick" Then proceed to kick his ass...leave him with nothing even if he has a tab with the bar. Make the bugger clean dishes for a couple hours and then walk home if ya can.
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Celtic probably has the most satisfying and effective solution. I would still like to hear that you kicked him in the nuts, but if you are going to bust him, don't kick his peter too. That's just overkill!

But really, it sounds like you will be OK with your attitude. It is something you(we) do for fun, and when it isn't anymore, it isn't anymore and you do something about it for yourself.

-pigi
 
piglit said:
Celtic probably has the most satisfying and effective solution. I would still like to hear that you kicked him in the nuts, but if you are going to bust him, don't kick his peter too. That's just overkill!
-pigi
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Probably not an option for two reasons. Imagine a 52 year old lawyer(me) going after a 60 year old guy in a pool hall. Not a prettty sight, with probable repercussions from the authorities.

second reason': He's got fists the size of hams. Until the man passed away recently, he was a driver/ companion/assistant to an outfit guy that went away for awhile. I don't want to find out what he can do.

That being said, I'm still going to be verbally agressive to him to see if he will shut his f'ing mouth.
 
dmgwalsh said:
I don't really want to quit because there are a lot of good people in this league. Any ideas on how to handle him? Or should i just suck it up and try to play through it?
D
Click to expand...

First of all, you are there at the league to have fun. The beauty of having a team is enjoying the comradery and team spirit. This guy sounds like a sour puss, and most likely, everyone knows it. Develop a thicker skin and ignore the comments. If he persists, speak to him IN FRONT OF the other team members and point out the negative comments are distracting and don't help the team as a whole. I'm sure you will get some support from the other team members.

ManlyShot
 
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