Pool Jokes

This pool player goes to see his Dr. and tells him he hasn't taken a dump in two weeks. The Dr. says here, take this mild laxative and come back in 3 days. After 3 days, he returns to the Doc and says still nothing. The Doc, a little amazed, says here, take this, it's the strongest laxative I have. Take it and return on Monday.

He returns on Monday and tells the Doc, Still nothing..." The Doc is somewhat confused... He asks the guy, "Can I ask you what you do for a living?" The man replies, "Well sure, I am a professional pool player."

The Doc says, "Well why didn't you say so! Here's 10 bucks, go get something to eat..."
 
3 pool players are on the road....

Driving down the highway, one says "Let's find a hotel, and get some sleep." The other two agree.

They pull up to the hotel and the hotel manager says "I'm sorry I only have 1 room available, but I'll give it to you guys for $30.

So each guy pulls out $10 and hands it to the manager. The bell hop takes them to their room. (Cost to each pool player = $10)

A little while later the manager is still feeling bad that he can't give the pool players separate rooms decides to return some of their money. He sends the bell hop up to the room with $5 in ones.

On the way to the room, the bell hop thinks to himself "There's $5 and only 3 pool players, how are they going to divide this equally?"

So, the bell hop puts $2 in his pocket, knocks on the door, and gives each pool player $1. Now the cost to each pool player is $9

The room originally cost $30
Each player paid $9

$9 x 3 = $27

The bell hop has $2

$27 + $2 = $29 :eek:

Where's the other dollar? :D
 
Irish634 said:
3 pool players are on the road....

Driving down the highway, one says "Let's find a hotel, and get some sleep." The other two agree.

They pull up to the hotel and the hotel manager says "I'm sorry I only have 1 room available, but I'll give it to you guys for $30.

So each guy pulls out $10 and hands it to the manager. The bell hop takes them to their room. (Cost to each pool player = $10)

A little while later the manager is still feeling bad that he can't give the pool players separate rooms decides to return some of their money. He sends the bell hop up to the room with $5 in ones.

On the way to the room, the bell hop thinks to himself "There's $5 and only 3 pool players, how are they going to divide this equally?"

So, the bell hop puts $2 in his pocket, knocks on the door, and gives each pool player $1. Now the cost to each pool player is $9

The room originally cost $30
Each player paid $9

$9 x 3 = $27

The bell hop has $2

$27 + $2 = $29 :eek:

Where's the other dollar? :D
Click to expand...

Once the manager handed the $5 to the bell hop, only $25 of the original payment remained. The poolplayers got back $3 and the bell hop kept $2, for a toal of $30 once again. $25 + $3 + $2 = $30.

Yes, the pool players have now paid $9 each and the bell hop has $2. And the Manager has $25. $27 from the poolplayers minus $2 to the bell hop leaves $25 for the manager.
 
jay helfert said:
Once the manager handed the $5 to the bell hop, only $25 of the original payment remained. The poolplayers got back $3 and the bell hop kept $2, for a toal of $30 once again. $25 + $3 + $2 = $30.

Yes, the pool players have now paid $9 each and the bell hop has $2. And the Manager has $25. $27 from the poolplayers minus $2 to the bell hop leaves $25 for the manager.
Click to expand...

Jay you're no fun :p
You'd be surprised at how many people I leave scratching their heads with that one. To be honest, I believe it's all in how the riddle is presented.
 
What does a woman do with her a**hole before having sex?






She drops him off at the poolroom!



(Sorry guys, I couldn't resist. And by the way, I'm just telling it....I didn't make this one up!) :)
 
Two guys are playing a tight match. One player has a heart attack and drops dead accross the table. The other guy looks at his friend and asks "Dead, isn't that a foul?"
 
I've posted this one a couple of times before, but it's one of my favorites.

A man's wife requested that he run out for a carton of cigarettes. He said, "OK, honey, I'll be right back." The man went downstairs toward the garage, but rather than going out, he racked the balls on the pool table in his basement, and started playing pool.

About fifteen minutes later, he reappeared at the top of the stairs but his hands were empty. His wife asked "What about the carton of cigarettes?" He said, "You can keep them, honey, I couldn't run out."
 
What's the difference between a pro pool player and a pizza pie?

A pizza pie can feed a family of four.
__________________
Name: Jude M. Rosenstock
Cue: Predator 2
Age: 35
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Hours of pool: 15
Profession: Online Advertising

Some days you're the bug. Other days, you're the windshield



That is Hilarious........mikeiniowa feeds my family of four just fine......We go out at least once a week on him!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Irish634 said:
Jay you're no fun :p
You'd be surprised at how many people I leave scratching their heads with that one. To be honest, I believe it's all in how the riddle is presented.
Click to expand...

It's a tricky one for sure. But math is my long suit.
 
I heard this one a little different ........

What does a professional pool player and a medium pizza have in common ?

Answer: Neither one can feed a family of four !
 
Cleaned up for AZ:

Two guys are walking out of the poolroom after the Thursday handicap tournament. They are moaning about rolls and handicaps and not paying attention as they cross the street.

A truck hits them and kills them both.

At the Pearly Gates St. Peter says, "sorry guys, you were taken too early. Your bodies however are gone so we can send you back as whoever you want to be."

The first guy thinks it over and says, " I want to be a pro-Quarterback in the NFL. " St. Peter says no problem but tells the first guy that he isn't guaranteed a spot in Heaven and that a pro-athlete's life has a lot of temptation. The first guys says he can handle it.

Then St. Peter turns to the second guy, "and you". The second guy doens't hesitate and says he wants to go back as a lesbian.

The first guy says "a lesbian!, why would you want to be a lesbian?"

The second guy replies, "As a lesbian I can have all the girls I want AND get the six out in the Thursday tournament."
 
One day I was shooting straight pool and I was lining up to shoot the 7 ball and a little frog jumped out of the side pocket onto the rail.
The frog said : shoot the 5 ball first, shoot the 5 ball first.
Why should I listen to you your just a frog?
The frog said : shoot the 5 ball first, shoot the 5 ball first, just trust me.
Well I followed the frogs coaching and ran 255 balls straight. I couldn't believe it. The frog brought me unbelieveable luck. I decided to take the frog to vegas and gamble with my winnings. We sat at a black jack table and I get dealt an 18.
The frog says hit it, hit the 18.
ARE YOU CRAZY HIT ON 18?
The frog says just trust me hit the 18.
I have the dealer hit me and draw a 3 and get 21. I couldnt believe it.
This went on until the floor boss came over and asked me to leave because he thought I was counting cards and was up $20,000.
We were getting real tired so me and the frog get us a suite.
I set the frog on the pillow next to me and laid done to go to sleep.
The frog says kiss me, kiss me.
No way am I gonna kiss you your a frog.
The frog says kiss me, kiss me.
If I kiss you will you let me get some sleep?
The frog says kiss me, kiss me and I will let you get some sleep.
Well I kiss the frog and the frog turns into this voluptuos 17 year old
blonde bombshell, that I just could not resist.

YOUR HONOR I SWEAR THAT IS EXACTLY HOW IT HAPPENED!
 
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