Sunday Funnies...

Tramp Steamer

Tramp Steamer

One Pocket enthusiast.
Silver Member
A billiards supply salesman is driving down a narrow country road, one bright and sunny day, when out of the corner of his eye he notices an unusual sight.
Across the road and beside a barn, with his overalls down around his ankles, he sees a farmer having sex with a sheep.
Incensed that such a callous display of incivility is occurring right out in front of God and everybody he pulls into the farmhouse drive, roars up to the farmhouse, gets out of his car, runs to the front door, and knocks.
In a couple of minutes a young boy with a freckled face opens the door and says. "Can I help you Mister?"
"I certainly hope so." Exclaims the salesman. "Did you know there's a man over beside your barn having sex with a sheep?"
"Oh, him?" Replies the little boy. "That's just my Daaaaaaaaaaaad." :smile:
 
Every day Luigi and Pasquale go to lunch at noon and have to return at 1PM sharp. Their foreman Giuseppe leaves at noon and comes back at 2PM. One day Luigi says, "You know, Pasquale, I'm 'a sick of every 'a day Giuseppe take a two hour 'a lunch. Today I'm 'a gonna take a longer 'a lunch and 'a go home and make 'a love to my 'a beautiful 'a wife."

Pasquale thinks about it and says, "You know, 'a Luigi... I'm 'a thinkin' you 'a gonna get 'a caught."

"No 'a chance", says Luigi, "I'm 'a gonna come 'a back fifteen 'a minute before 'a Guiseppe does and he never 'a know."

So the minute Giuseppe leave the worksite, Luigi goes running toward home. Ten minutes late he runs up to the front door, flings it open and heads up the stairs to the bedroom. As he slowly opens the door to surprise his wife, he sees her lying on the bed with his boss on top of her.

He turns around, runs back down the stairs and straight back to the worksite. Pasquale look at him and says, "What's 'a matter, Luigi, you look 'a white as a ghost.''

Luigi replies, "You were 'a right, Pasquale. I almost 'a gotta caught."
 
How do you tell the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?????????

Da Taste!!:eek:
 
Reminds me of a Gal I know who just lost her job at the local sperm bank
They caught her drinking on the job three times in one day
 
Actual pool joke

A man goes to the doctor and tells him he hasn't gone to the bathroom in a week. The doctor gives him a prescription for a laxative and says "This should do the trick".

Three days later he is back, same problem. The doctor gives him a stronger dose and says "Let me know how this works". Three days later he is back again, no luck.

The doctor decides to look into this further and begins questioning him. "How do you sleep"? "Fine says the the man". "How about exercise"? Yea, I do a lot of bending and walking." "Maybe it's work related, what do you do for a living"? "I am a professional pool player", says the man. "There is the problem" says the doctor, as he reaches in his pocket and hands the man a ten, "Get yourself something to eat".
 
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Pool Player on cars

A pool players goes with a friend to look for a new car. The salesman shows them a beautiful low slung foreign job. The friend a likes it and asks the pool player what he thinks. After some thought the pool player he says, "Na, no good". "What is wrong with it, it looks great"? The pool player says. "Sure, but you can't sleep in it".
 
What's red and has seven dents in it??????????????????????????????? Snow White's cherry!!!!!!!
 
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Smart Maid.

Maria the maid asked for a pay increase.


The wife was very upset about this and asked:
'Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?'


Maria: 'Well Senora, there are three reasons
why I want an increase.The first is that I iron better than you.'
Wife: 'Who said you iron better than me?'
Maria: 'Your husband said so.'
Wife: 'Oh.'


Maria: 'The second reason is that I am a better cook than you.'
Wife: 'Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?'
Maria: 'Your husband did.'
Wife: 'Oh.'


Maria: 'My third reason is that I am a better lover than you.'
Wife (really furious now): 'Did my husband say that as well?'
Maria: 'No Senora, the gardener did.'


She got the raise.
 
Old Radio Shows.

Any of you guys remember when we listened to the radio.

Typical Sunday morning breakfast at our place when I was growing up.

We ate Kippers. Smoked herring. Kind of an English, Scottish fare. Mom would always find a loaf of Corn Bread at the store which always made it much better.

I bought 8 packages of Kippers last week at the fish store.

Anyway, the Sunday funnies. Ogo Pogo, Alley Oop and Blondie were just three of the old ones.

Dad would always turn the radio on in the kitchen and two of the radio announcers would read the Sunday Funny papers. They would change their voices for the different characters they read. They were great and we all looked forward to Sunday morning breakfast.
Dad would give me the Sunday Funny papers so that I could follow along with the announcers.

Anyway, my recollection of the Sunday Funnies. That was long before Nintendos, cell phones and flat screen Tvs.

I'm off to play a couple of Scotch Doubles matches that we need to make up.

Have a funny Sunday Guys.
 
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Blue Hog ridr said:
Any of you guys remember when we listened to the radio.

Typical Sunday morning breakfast at our place when I was growing up.

We ate Kippers. Smoked herring. Kind of an English, Scottish fare. Mom would always find a loaf of Corn Bread at the store which always made it much better.

I bought 8 packages of Kippers last week at the fish store.

Anyway, the Sunday funnies. Ogo Pogo, Alley Oop and Blondie were just three of the old ones.

Dad would always turn the radio on in the kitchen and two of the radio announcers would read the Sunday Funny papers. They would change their voices for the different characters they read. They were great and we all looked forward to Sunday morning breakfast.
Dad would give me the Sunday Funny papers so that I could follow along with the announcers.

Anyway, my recollection of the Sunday Funnies. That was long before Nintendos, cell phones and flat screen Tvs.

I'm off to play a couple of Scotch Doubles matches that we need to make up.

Have a funny Sunday Guys.
Click to expand...

And the first one, on the first page, was always Dick Tracy. :smile:
 
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