The funniest thing you've seen in a pool hall

gunzby

gunzby

My light saber is LD
Silver Member
So I was in the hall last week. It was just me and the bartender since it was early afternoon and I was practicing.

This guy comes in, puts money in the jukebox and I don't see him when the music starts. I don't complain as he's playing all old 80's hair rock bands that I happen to like. Stuff like Iron Maiden (who knew that would be in a jukebox), Metallica, AC/DC and Motley Crue.

When the music stops I see him reappear to put more money in the jukebox with the same type of songs and he disappears again.

Well I went down for a shot at just the right angle to where I see him. He is standing in the corner (facing the corner) across the pool hall pretty much in the dark air guitaring it out like crazy. I think to myself "Self...you better watch this guy cuz he's nuts".

Well the music stops and the cycle starts again. He is air drumming and doing air guitar like a pro. This goes on for a solid hour, but now he is doing a little walking around while playing. The song stops and he jumps and yells "YEAA!!!!"

I thought this was absolutely hilarious. A guy I play often comes in with his son who is autistic now. I keep thinking ooooh I can't wait till he sees this. Finally he says to me (the son) "That guy over there is dancing." I tell him yea he's been at it for an hour or so now. This amazes him and I tell him he should go over there and dance with him. His reply is "No way that is weird".

Just figured I would throw this one out there to see if anyone else has any stories.
 
I'm in the room knocking some around with a buddy, loosely chatting with the house man, typical mid-day pool room stuff. Here comes this dude with his black glasses & walking/feeler stick. He asks for a set of balls & I about lose it. It was the most bizarre thing I have ever seen in a pool hall. It was a blind dude getting a rack of balls so he could play pool. Seriously.

I found out later that he is only partially blind. He was around because of the School for Visualy Impaired that we have in town. But even knowing that now, it was cool seeing a blind dude with his black shades & stick, asking to play pool.
 
There was a local lunch place with good Diamond tables, it was the spot for all the
regulars to get a hot dog and bang them around a while in the middle of the day.

A semi-regular was a guy about 80 years with clothes that looked like straight disco gear,
gold chains and all. He would who would come in and woof for a 10 dollar set.
He would always get a bunch of weight and won for like a month straight.

As soon as he would win the first set he would run out the door yelling
that he was going to a nearby streakhouse for the early bird special.

He finally woofed on me one day, and I gave him the 5 and the breaks just for something to do.
The most I could lose is $10...right!
I was giving him 2 balls too much (he could play very well for his age)
but was in dead stroke (running more than 3 balls ...lol) and beat him 4 straight sets.

When he drug up, I ran for the door telling everyone I was going to the same steakhouse he always went to!
He didn't come back in for like 3 months!
 
driz86 said:
The air guitar story is great. I'd be cracking up the whole time.
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I was dying. He was really getting into it too. I said something to the bartender and she said he usually takes it up a notch.
 
I saw Grady Mathews drop his stick and go running after Richie Richeson after a perceived slight. Riichie wanted no part of Grady so he kept running around the table. SO now Richie's GF Jennifer Grabs a stick (mighta been Grady's) and starts chasing Grady who is chasing Richie around the table. Jennifer is yelling something. I'm pretty sure it was "Grady you grizzly old mother f*cker, if you harm one hair on his head, I'll beat your ass with this stick". The owner stepped in the middle of it all and somehow broke it up.

The next day Grady apologized and the owner wound up being more upset at Jennifer.
 
Funniest Fluke

I used to live in this town where pool leagues were a huge deal and they took the rules very seriously.
It was call 8 ball but because the bars were so loud you had to denote where the 8 was going by
placing a coaster near the pocket.
There was a strict no coaching rule so my team had this signal - that whenever the shooter
had forgotten to place the coaster we would yell
"chug it UP" and all take a swig of beer.
This one time a lady on our team was on the 8 but of course she forgot to place the coaster.
She was about to shoot so we were all frantically screaming "Chug it UP" but she shot anyway.
Luckily she missed the 8 (by a mile) but then she flukes it in the very corner where the coaster just happenned to be!!!
The funniest part was the looks on the faces of the people on the other team!
Needless to say we won that match.
 
This is an old post of mine from another thread, but I think it's worthy of repeating...

My buddy and I are practicing at a local room when a young couple sets up on the table next to us. They shoot for a while, obviously not serious players at all, but they're having fun. After a few games the guy goes to the bar to watch the game and she decides to stay at the table and shoot around some more. After 20 or 30 minutes she decides to wrap up and does two remarkable things:

1. The ball tray is sitting on the window sill a few steps away from the table. First she tries to gather up all the balls and carry them in her hands/arms. She figures out pretty quickly that this isn't going to work. (I'm watching pretty closely now to see what happens next). So, she makes eight trips back and forth carrying two balls at a time to the tray on the windowsill but leaves the cueball on the table.

2. NOW she finally carries the almost-filled tray to the table and looks the situation over for at least a minute (by now I am riveted). At last, she picks up the cue ball, looks at me and asks "Does this one go here?" (Pointing to the last space in the tray).

I was so stunned that I couldn't come up with a really good answer like "first you have to take off your shirt to clean the white ball". I just hissed "yes" through clenched teeth trying not to crack up!

Tom
 
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I once saw a cue ball fly of the table on the break and directly hit a glass pitcher of beer that was in a guy's hand traveling to his table. He was left with the handle in his hand and nothing else. The guy shooting did buy the man another pitcher. It was an incredible shot on the break. :D
 
snooker fun

I have poster this before but it is always worth a laugh...

I live in a college town with a lot of students that are not familiar with much besides 8 ball. Well it never fails that the worst players have a need to play on the biggest table. So that would fall under the 12' snooker table. Usually the bar tender will catch them but the most memerable was a young lady and her two guy friends.

They carried their rack of pool balls over to the snooker table and decided it would be the best place to play. She reaches under the table and grabs the rack. Now, two at a time she takes the balls from the carrier into the snooker rack. She got to about eight before she realized they wouldn't fit. She shuffled them around, no luck. Then she took them all out and tried again this time very carefully, again, no dice.
By now several of us were watching. She got a clue and walked over to a pool table and grabbed a rack and got them racked on the spot for the black. There was hardly, if any, room behind the rack.

Go now and grab a snooker cue, whats this, no chalk on the table? Good thing there is a big white one hanging on the wall. She then rubbed the tip of the cue on the hand chalk. Have you ever see someone try to hold a cue at the butt and rub it on the hand chalk? It looked strange to say the least.

Then the break, and now to play. The macho frat boys with her could not figure out why they couldn't make a ball, no matter how good the hit it. They tried and tried. They finally started drilling them at the pockets as hard as they could so we had to stop the fun. Every ball they hit went flying off the table and they had to have been beating the rails to a pulp.
 
Actually not only the funniest thing I've seen but also the funniest thing I've heard....

Watch'n a friend of mine practicing 3 cushion near the front desk when a couple walk in - about in their 30's - and here's their conversation - (her) "Oooh honey look that table has no holes" - (him) "Oh yeah that's the table you can practice on before you actually play" -

Needless to say my friend and I and everyone within earshot were rolling on the floor!!! -

Jackson:lol:
 
"the left handed stick'

So a while back while bartending at a poolhall, it was dead so one of the regulars "pete" and myself were shooting a few games. This young couple come in grab a table and start to play and she's not going so good and he's not really helping her out, this is where pete steps in....
pete: ... are you left handed?
girl: she nods yup.
pete: what you need is a left handed cue (points to me) vince here is left handed and shoots with a left handed cue isn't that right.
Me:(playing along) yup...

Now before i can finish and we can just be nope just kidding there is no such thing as a left handed cue her boyfriend chirps in...
boyfriend:yah thats why you must be having so much trouble (complete look of sereousness on his face like "why didn't he think of this sooner")

at this point they both start looking at the wall racks for a "left handed cue...
boyfriend:how can you tell the left haned ones from the right handed ones? (while examining a few cues)

Pete and I look at each other blink a few times trying to hold back laughter

Me:they are the ones with an L on ..... ah who am I kidding there is no such thing as a left handed cue

the couple sort of stare blankly at me and pete...

Pete:yah there are all the same, sorry I just couldent resist...

and end scene. Now we pulled that joke on a few other people,but that first time was by far the funnyest in my mind.

Other moments of hilarity would have to include handing out a rack of balls and telling the person what table to play on and have them go in the opposite direction making a bee line for a bar box.... every once and a while we would just let them play till after one game they would come back all mistifyed as to where the balls had gone. To which we would responed "hmmm maybe the table was hungry?" or some other witty response depending on mood. Or when young kids would come in and inevitably one of them would start swining the cue around the most recent time that happend i had just watched "colour of money" and in a brief moment of wittyness I shoutted out " hey kid you ain't tom cruise, and this ain't the colour of money! stop swinging the cue around" he did stop the reference was lost on him but the bartender thought it was funny. I could go on but i'll stop for now.
peace vince
 
WheelChair Pool

A guy with only one leg hopped around the table on crutches, propped them against the table, and took his shot. The house man (me) told him: "Hey Buddy - you have to keep one foot on the floor at all times!"
 
terminal_288 said:
So a while back while bartending at a poolhall, it was dead so one of the regulars "pete" and myself were shooting a few games. This young couple come in grab a table and start to play and she's not going so good and he's not really helping her out, this is where pete steps in....
pete: ... are you left handed?
girl: she nods yup.
pete: what you need is a left handed cue (points to me) vince here is left handed and shoots with a left handed cue isn't that right.
Me:(playing along) yup...

Now before i can finish and we can just be nope just kidding there is no such thing as a left handed cue her boyfriend chirps in...
boyfriend:yah thats why you must be having so much trouble (complete look of sereousness on his face like "why didn't he think of this sooner")

at this point they both start looking at the wall racks for a "left handed cue...
boyfriend:how can you tell the left haned ones from the right handed ones? (while examining a few cues)

Pete and I look at each other blink a few times trying to hold back laughter

Me:they are the ones with an L on ..... ah who am I kidding there is no such thing as a left handed cue

the couple sort of stare blankly at me and pete...

Pete:yah there are all the same, sorry I just couldent resist...

and end scene. Now we pulled that joke on a few other people,but that first time was by far the funnyest in my mind.

Other moments of hilarity would have to include handing out a rack of balls and telling the person what table to play on and have them go in the opposite direction making a bee line for a bar box.... every once and a while we would just let them play till after one game they would come back all mistifyed as to where the balls had gone. To which we would responed "hmmm maybe the table was hungry?" or some other witty response depending on mood. Or when young kids would come in and inevitably one of them would start swining the cue around the most recent time that happend i had just watched "colour of money" and in a brief moment of wittyness I shoutted out " hey kid you ain't tom cruise, and this ain't the colour of money! stop swinging the cue around" he did stop the reference was lost on him but the bartender thought it was funny. I could go on but i'll stop for now.
peace vince
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Ahahahahahhahahahahaha!!!!!
 
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