In Meditation we train ourselves to observe our thoughts, and not react to them
I sort of see where you are coming from I think. Its like if we think we are sitting somewhere alone and a friend sneaks up and scares the crap out of you... We cant control that fear... is that wh I that you mean?
C.J.,
Do you believe that thoughts control our emotions? For example: someone reads your post about TOI... if they think "he is trying to hustle people" they get mad. If they think "this is going to help me out" they get excited. If they think "its cool that he spends so much time on here helping me get this" they feel greatful. If they ghink "not again" they feel frustrated. It's not the post that caused the emotion. It was their thoughts. The thoughts that went through there head generated an emotional response.
We can change our thoughts. It is true that we have a lot of thoughts roaming through our head automatically that we dont even recognize but if ee take the time to analyze them and to figure out what thoughts created what emotions we can change them if we see them as illogical and serving no purpose or even holding us back.
When it comes to confidence its built up through hard work and experience but it can be torn down by thoughts generating a fear of failure etc. You can analyze and change those thoughts thereby controling your emotions. Granted this is not something you eant to do during competition but it is neccesary if one is looking to maximize their performance imo.
You're a martial artist. Im not sure how much sparring you have done or if you have ever competed but you probrably are aware of how important it is to prepare your mind for battle. The same is true for pool or many other aspects of life.
The game is the teacher!
Confidence, from my experience can't be faked, at least not for very long. Fear of failure, or fear of success are equally destructive, as is fear of not getting what we want, or fear of losing what we already have. These are fears that need to be addressed, or they will rear their ugly heads at the most inappropriate times.
It's commonly agreed that the average human has between 30 and 50 thousand thoughts per day. Many of these are below the level of consciousnesses, although they still effect our moods, feelings and/or emotions. The reason I say we can't really control our feelings and emotions is many of the triggers that cause them are not conscious, therefore they seem random, and to deal with them we must identify their root causes.
In Meditation we train ourselves to observe our thoughts, and not react to them at all. The takes practice, and that's what mediation really is.....practice. Only about 2-3% of our thoughts do we act on, the rest just loop aimlessly causing many people unnecessary worry, shame, guilt, and other destructive feelings/emotions.
There is no easy answer to "fix" these issues, if I knew how I'd be a billionaire. Usually it requires a balance of the physical, mental, and spiritual to create harmony in a person's life. This is a triangular dynamic, and even if one of these are weak it will make the entire structure of someone's life shaky, and subject to fall.
My mentor, Dalton Leong once told me that preparation was the most important aspect of competition "readiness is everything" he would say. He encouraged me to follow the way of the samurai and accept death before each battle.
To do this I'd imagine losing to the person I was getting ready to play and make sure I could accept it, then, when in the heat of battle the thought of losing wouldn't enter my mind because I'd already dealt with it......this may sound negative to some, however, I believe you'll understand the importance of alleviating that particular fear before it has a chance to occur.
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