This is a blatant rip off of Jeff Foxworthy's "You might be a redneck if..." routine.
I started the useless pool player joke thread at the beginning of the year so as the year winds down it seemed fitting to end it with the same idea.
You might be a pool player if...
- Most of the time at least one of your hands looks like you jerked off a smurf.
- You know the location of every coin-op or nine-footer in a bar, restaurant or garage with the door unlocked in a 60 mile radius.
- You can name the members of both Mosconi cup teams but can't identify three people running for president.
- You have ever complained about a $5 greens fee while holding an $8 drink.
- You have a cue ball preference that can't be summed up in 3 sentences or less.
- You have ever had to ask your opponent for a time out long enough to call into work sick.
- You have ever spent more than 5 minutes negotiating the rules before the game.
- You have ever had a wife/girlfriend refer to the pool hall as "the other woman".
- You have worn the same pair of shoes for more than a year but have gone through at least 3 or more break and/or jump cues in that time.
- You have ever told a real estate agent not to bother showing you any houses that didn't at least have a room that was 18' by 14'.
OK, the last one was me back in April.
Please add to the list!
I started the useless pool player joke thread at the beginning of the year so as the year winds down it seemed fitting to end it with the same idea.
You might be a pool player if...
- Most of the time at least one of your hands looks like you jerked off a smurf.
- You know the location of every coin-op or nine-footer in a bar, restaurant or garage with the door unlocked in a 60 mile radius.
- You can name the members of both Mosconi cup teams but can't identify three people running for president.
- You have ever complained about a $5 greens fee while holding an $8 drink.
- You have a cue ball preference that can't be summed up in 3 sentences or less.
- You have ever had to ask your opponent for a time out long enough to call into work sick.
- You have ever spent more than 5 minutes negotiating the rules before the game.
- You have ever had a wife/girlfriend refer to the pool hall as "the other woman".
- You have worn the same pair of shoes for more than a year but have gone through at least 3 or more break and/or jump cues in that time.
- You have ever told a real estate agent not to bother showing you any houses that didn't at least have a room that was 18' by 14'.
OK, the last one was me back in April.
Please add to the list!