Side tracking first to catch up on some of the rambling. Janis? Never surpassed. Kelly's Heroes and Oddball in particular? One of the greatest movies ever, particularly war movies.
This parenting question is far too vague on multiple fronts. First, is your daughter the leader of the pack or just a cog in the wheel? In another word, can she control the group if she needs to? Raises the questions, how many is a few? How long has she known them? do you know them? Two more fourteen year olds should be manageable by your daughter. Four total in the room starts getting iffy unless talking close friend with at least two of them. If any tend to walk over your daughter, no!
If you need to say you aren't comfortable with as many people as it is, or though you don't have to voice it, you aren't comfortable with one or more of the group, shut it down!
Bottom line keeping this particular group in line might be more than your daughter wants to attempt especially when you are picky about your stuff. My daughter was fourteen when she came to ask me if she could go on a weekend trip with a group. Most of the group were fourteen or fifteen, the chaperones not much older. I told her no telling her I didn't like the age of the chaperones or not knowing families of most of the group. My daughter told me she didn't want to go anyway, just didn't want to be the one saying no!
I think telling your daughter that y'all need to talk it over and set up another day might be best if you feel like you have any reasons to be uncertain.
You do need to decide how you are going to feel about accidental property damage and property damage from abuse. If even accidental property damage is going to upset you best to shut things down. If rough play or carelessness is going to upset you, look at the questions above.
Somebody I don't trust with the stuff in my mancave, I don't trust with my daughter! Lock up the stuff that needs protection from "Murphy's Law" and don't sweat the rest.
I happened to work the same place as my brother for awhile, different groups. I came to work in a nice new truck one Monday morning. My brother's coworkers were ragging him, "Bet he won't let you drive it!" I reached in my pocket and flipped out the keys. Tossed them to my brother. "Just a truck. He can drive it, he can keep it."
Only you know the pressures you are putting on your daughter. If there is too much pressure she can't have a good time!
Hu
