***Funniest thing to ever happen during a match!!***

This didn't happen to me but it is pretty funny just the same. A friend of mine is playing in a tournament and he goes to the john. When he comes back he grabs his cue and starts running out this incredibly hard rack. His opponent is just staring at him like he is crazy or something. After making a tough shot on the 9-ball he turns around and people are still looking at him funny...turns out he just ran out the balls sitting on an adjacent table to his match! LOL :D
 
We were playing our normal friday night ring game when all of a sudden.... All the lights went out.
The funny part was when out of the pitch of darkness i heard a voice say....I made the 9-ball....LOL!!!
We all busted out laughing....
 
The area of my hall is in the downtown (townie) district of a college town. Never fails that a group of guys come in and decide to get their rack and walk directly over to the 12' English snooker table. The fun is two fold when we let it unfold first they have no idea how to get all 15 balls into the smaller snooker rack. If they have had enough to drink already they will really spend some time at it. Once they go and get a regular rack they will of course break usually sending at least two balls over the shorter rails. Pick them up, spot them, dicuss why there are so many spots on the table and after an official decision is made begin the game. That is when it gets fun. Rattle, rattle, rattle. They get super frustrated when they get a ball even close to the pocket and it comes back out. Someone always walks by with the " that table plays kind of tight, huh?" comment. Before long they find a nice bar box.

Usually we stop them before they get the cover off the table but on the slow nights we let it go for a bit.
 
I used to be the manager of a Student Union rec room that had 12 pool tables, a snooker table and billiard table...

It was Friday night and the whole place was jumpin' except for the billiard table...

A couple of drunks walk in and demand a table and I tell them they are all taken except the billiard table...

One guy says (and I quote) "Then give us that one dumb ass."

So I bring out the three billiard balls and the other guy says (and I quote), "How the f**K are we going to play with only three balls, moron."

So, on a whim, I give them an extra set of pool balls and leave them to it...

Those two yuck monkeys played for AT LEAST 20 minutes before they realized there were no pockets on the table...!! (what exactly were they aiming at I asked myself)

They came back to the counter and nimbly came with, "There ain't no pockets on that table."

I replied (at the peril of my very life), "I may be both a dumb ass and a moron, but I can spot a table without pockets on it from a mile away."
 
I used to have home tournaments in NC and one night in the tourney my old lady was playing her match. She was shooting better than normal so I'm going crazy and woofing for her. Anyway she wins the rack and I smacked her on the booty and walked away. Well when she returned the favor her darn finger catches the belt loop of my shorts(they were too big and no belt) and she ends up pantsing me. This would have been no problem at all if I weren't wearing briefs. It was funny, lil embarassing but hella funny and there were only 10 or so good friends there to see it.
 
Slow and Slower...

A good friend was playing Mr. Slower in a tournament. Late rounds and it was a tough battle.
My friend's opponent calls a time out and talks to his son Mr. Slow. Both players have a reputation for taking their time while in a match. They seem to take a lot more than the alloted time out and finished with the son telling his dad "and remember, take your time"

Well the last statement was said as the father was walking away so the son had to add a little volume. And everyone that was watching just broke out in laughter. Tears for some laughing so hard and yes, both Mr. Slow and Mr. Slower didn't have a clue.

My friend loses the close match, but ended up being related to Mr. Slow and Mr. Slower. Mr. Slow married my friends daughter.

I still remember all those people just laughing out loud... and the looks.
 
"Pocketless pool"

McKinneyMiner said:
I used to be the manager of a Student Union rec room that had 12 pool tables, a snooker table and billiard table...

It was Friday night and the whole place was jumpin' except for the billiard table...

A couple of drunks walk in and demand a table and I tell them they are all taken except the billiard table...

One guy says (and I quote) "Then give us that one dumb ass."

So I bring out the three billiard balls and the other guy says (and I quote), "How the f**K are we going to play with only three balls, moron."

So, on a whim, I give them an extra set of pool balls and leave them to it...

Those two yuck monkeys played for AT LEAST 20 minutes before they realized there were no pockets on the table...!! (what exactly were they aiming at I asked myself)

They came back to the counter and nimbly came with, "There ain't no pockets on that table."

I replied (at the peril of my very life), "I may be both a dumb ass and a moron, but I can spot a table without pockets on it from a mile away."
Click to expand...

Now *this one* is a winner! Reminds me of Chris Cohen's YouTube satire on 3C ("pocketless pool"):

http://youtube.com/watch?v=SvYeqLg4dQU

Thanks for posting this one, McKinneyMiner!
-Sean
 
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I play in a co-ed, independent, bar league. We were hill-hill in a playoff match against our big "rival," and for reasons unimportant to the story, one of our weaker women ended up playing the last game. She was really nervous, and told us so. We all tried to calm her down a little and give her words of encouragement, but none of it is working.

The girlfriend of one of my teammates (who we had all just met THAT NIGHT), walks over to our player, (who is fairly... large chested), and plays bongos on her chest for a good 5-10 seconds before escorting her to the table for her break.

To this day I don't know how she composed herself after that, but damned if she didn't break and run out the rack for the match!
 
all right, all right

This would have been a whole lot funnier if it had happened to someone else, though.

A few weeks ago I finished my match and was waiting for the next. EVERY one in the back room at Hard Times is practicing, gossiping, demonstrating shots... I wanted to practice.

I walk towards the table I'll be playing on next, and there's a man sitting on one of the chairs in front of it, arms crossed and totally relaxed. As I walk towards him he smiles and asks how I'm doing, I smile and say hi, etc. So I walk right in front of him to the table, look down at the three balls laying in a line right in front of the pocket, and think "that's really random," and pick them up with one hand.

As I do I look up and see the TD and another guy walking towards me, and both freeze in their tracks, mouths open.

Suddenly I realized:
--this was the ONLY table left still in play,
--those three "random" balls required a ref to watch the hit
--I've got those three balls in my hand.

I cussed out loud. (Totally not normal for me. AND this made even more people look over.)

I calmly put the balls down, started to arrange them back and then decided I had done enough damage, squeaked a "sorry," and went outside.

I'm glad it was a home room, where most people know I'm not normally a total idiot, except I do get teased and laughed at a LOT.
 
This is a great thread! Im sure I could contribute, but I just cant seem to recall anything right now!
 
blah blah said:
This would have been a whole lot funnier if it had happened to someone else, though.

A few weeks ago I finished my match and was waiting for the next. EVERY one in the back room at Hard Times is practicing, gossiping, demonstrating shots... I wanted to practice.

I walk towards the table I'll be playing on next, and there's a man sitting on one of the chairs in front of it, arms crossed and totally relaxed. As I walk towards him he smiles and asks how I'm doing, I smile and say hi, etc. So I walk right in front of him to the table, look down at the three balls laying in a line right in front of the pocket, and think "that's really random," and pick them up with one hand.

As I do I look up and see the TD and another guy walking towards me, and both freeze in their tracks, mouths open.

Suddenly I realized:
--this was the ONLY table left still in play,
--those three "random" balls required a ref to watch the hit
--I've got those three balls in my hand.

I cussed out loud. (Totally not normal for me. AND this made even more people look over.)

I calmly put the balls down, started to arrange them back and then decided I had done enough damage, squeaked a "sorry," and went outside.

I'm glad it was a home room, where most people know I'm not normally a total idiot, except I do get teased and laughed at a LOT.
Click to expand...

LOL! this sounds like something that would happen to me. this is my favorite so far.
 
Ok so I am playing all afternoon with a few guys, some I know and some we just met. We were at a working mens club (a English club that usually has a couple of snooker tables)and started playing around noon. Well we kinda had the place to ourselves but there was a stream of locals who came in just to watch and have a few beers. Well we ended up playing all through the afternoon and had a quite a few beers in us. We are playing doubles and this guys cell phone is just blowing up every couple of mins he looks at it and hits ignor each time.
All of a sudden this woman flys into the snooker room with a plate of roast beef gravey mash etc. She surveys the room and goes over to mr "I'm not answering my phone" tips the plate upsidedown on his chest and says "There's your F&^king dinner what time do you want breakfast?" He opened his mouth to answer and she shook her head and said "Just shut the F&%k up" and walked out.
The amazing thing was that he began eating it off his shirt. I did not have the heart to tell him it was his shot and that he just got snookered. Maybe not that funny but for sure one I will never forget.
 
blah blah said:
This would have been a whole lot funnier if it had happened to someone else, though.

A few weeks ago I finished my match and was waiting for the next. EVERY one in the back room at Hard Times is practicing, gossiping, demonstrating shots... I wanted to practice.

I walk towards the table I'll be playing on next, and there's a man sitting on one of the chairs in front of it, arms crossed and totally relaxed. As I walk towards him he smiles and asks how I'm doing, I smile and say hi, etc. So I walk right in front of him to the table, look down at the three balls laying in a line right in front of the pocket, and think "that's really random," and pick them up with one hand.

As I do I look up and see the TD and another guy walking towards me, and both freeze in their tracks, mouths open.

Suddenly I realized:
--this was the ONLY table left still in play,
--those three "random" balls required a ref to watch the hit
--I've got those three balls in my hand.

I cussed out loud. (Totally not normal for me. AND this made even more people look over.)

I calmly put the balls down, started to arrange them back and then decided I had done enough damage, squeaked a "sorry," and went outside.

I'm glad it was a home room, where most people know I'm not normally a total idiot, except I do get teased and laughed at a LOT.
Click to expand...

LOL!! There is this kid at our poolroom thats so ridiculously cocky, he doesn't play that great, but he thinks he's a champion. During a big tournament there were some guys playing some $1000 one pocket sets, they had left their table for a few minutes to go play a match. The guy who was watching the table stepped away or wasn't paying attention and sure enough, Mr.Cocky comes around and starts hitting balls on their table, a couple minutes later, one of the guys gambling turns the corner, and starts screaming at him. About 5 minutes later, I see Mr.Cocky sitting at the bar crying his eyes out, it was hilarious. If it had been a nice guy, I would have felt bad for him, but this kid gets drunk and acts like a jerk , he's just not very nice.
 
Courtney_Peters said:
LOL!! There is this kid at our poolroom thats so ridiculously cocky, he doesn't play that great, but he thinks he's a champion. During a big tournament there were some guys playing some $1000 one pocket sets, they had left their table for a few minutes to go play a match. The guy who was watching the table stepped away or wasn't paying attention and sure enough, Mr.Cocky comes around and starts hitting balls on their table, a couple minutes later, one of the guys gambling turns the corner, and starts screaming at him. About 5 minutes later, I see Mr.Cocky sitting at the bar crying his eyes out, it was hilarious. If it had been a nice guy, I would have felt bad for him, but this kid gets drunk and acts like a jerk , he's just not very nice.
Click to expand...

I need to get out and play more. It sounds like I'm missing a lot of fun. Does Legend's still have a Thursday tourney?
 
I was watching a match at the APA 8 ball team championship in Vegas. The teams playing are in the top 32 I believe. The shooter sticks himself and looking at a very difficult kick. His opponent has all his balls and their pretty messed up. The shooter calls time out and his coach/captain tells him to give him ball in hand. The shooter looks a little puzzled and the coach says "just shoot the cue ball into the pocket". He turns and knocks the cb into the pocket with the other team in disbelief since he was on the 8 ball. It was hill hill. The shooter and his team cracked up and ordered more beer.
 
Redheads

A few years ago the owner of my local poolroom, myself and a friend were shooting pool on a very slow thursday. Oh and a very nice, very pretty, very eager and Naive Redhead was with us. The owner came over and said he was going to play a little joke on her.
He had one of those prank cueballs that rolls off very bad. He waited till she scratched then palmed the good one and put the bad one on the table. Sure enough when she shot it rolled off bad she exclaimed did you see that your table is off bad. The owner said No you have alot to learn about the game of pool here in florida during the winter the static electricity builds up with the cloth and carpet and all the people walking around imparts a charge on the cueball causing it to roll off. The owner grabs the prank cueball walks over holds the doorknob and starts rubbing the cueball on his head. She said what are you doing? He responded grounding the cueball disapating the charge that built up..... on his way back to the table he palms the good cueball back on the table shows her how he "fixed" the cueball.
We went home that nite not knowing if the fish had taken the bait or not.

Friday comes and one of our teams which the redhead is on comes to practice before their match they have an away match just up the road at one of the worst bar tables in our town.
Now we got this part we got second hand because no one on her team knew what we had done the nite before and the 3 of us weren't there.

It seems they threw our lovely redhead up first. When the oppenent broke
on possibly the crapiest table east of the mississippi the cueball rolled off imagine that.
Our hero grabs the cueball up in front of both teams runs over to the door grabs the knob and starts rubbbing the cueball on her head.
Both teams jaws hit the floor and their team captian says "What are you doing

She says grounding the ball dissapating the electic charge so it will roll straight again.

Both teams broke out in laughter.

10 mins later back in our room we get a call from her team captian and I quote
..."OMG she coming I've never seen a redhead that mad before ...save yourselves get out shes swinging a Meucci and on her way. ..If you survive we owe you a beer
 
Speaking of cheddar. I can't remember what the wife fed me that night but it was pretty gasious. Scotch doubles and it was my turn, as I was walking past my female opponent, I let a big one rip. I just couldn't make it stay in any longer and it came out all by itself.
 
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