The funniest excuse you ever heard from poolplayer when they lost

Hi,
So I'm playing this guy who after missing a shot claims the table is not level and motions to the direction of perceived fall. A few shots later he has a long. hard cut and misses in the opposite direction. After spiking his cue, he turns and asks me to confirm the horrible condition of the table. I just smile and walk around him knowing that he's full of it.
 
sjm said:
I don't think an excuse has to be false to be funny.

I was watching a different match at the time, but during the World Straight Pool Championships (1982, I think), I overheard a player tell somebody "my bowtie cost me the match." It seemed a bit riduiculous, so I did some investigating. As it turns out, the player was at 147 and had to make three routine shots off a wide open table to win. Unfortunately, as he prepared to cue for his next shot, his clip-on bowtie (tuxedos were mandatory back then) fell off and landed on the cue ball for a foul (all ball fouls were in effect), after which his opponent ran out the match.

"My bowtie cost me the match." A lame excuse if there ever was one, but remarkably, true on this occasion.
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Well gee, everyone knows clip-ons are for losers. ;)

Good story, and I'd bet he never dropped his bowtie again! That would really sting for a long time.
 
I played a guy once for $50 per set ( 1987 or so), after he lost he told
me the reason he played bad was that we didn't bet enough. I don't know
about you but $50 race to 7 in 1987 for a average player was a decent
bet.
 
How about this. After I beat the guy, he gets all mad and says, you didn't
beat me, I gave you this match. I told him, lets do it again except we
won't play, you just give me the money. This way you save on table time.
 
And i quote "that freaking fly tried to land on my eyeball" :D



said by Earl strickland after rattling a ball against busty in galveston. Easily the funniest thing ive ever heard. Earl is always good for funny quotes like that. In another match he was calling all the hecklers "insurgents" and that the tables should be taken out back and set on fire :D. Earl can be hilarious sometimes.
 
TXsouthpaw said:
And i quote "that freaking fly tried to land on my eyeball" :D



said by Earl strickland after rattling a ball against busty in galveston. Easily the funniest thing ive ever heard. Earl is always good for funny quotes like that. In another match he was calling all the hecklers "insurgents" and that the tables should be taken out back and set on fire :D. Earl can be hilarious sometimes.
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He is one of the kind, I'll give him that.
 
poolmaster said:
How about this. After I beat the guy, he gets all mad and says, you didn't
beat me, I gave you this match. I told him, lets do it again except we
won't play, you just give me the money. This way you save on table time.
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That's funny!:grin:

Did he take you up on it?:rolleyes:
 
I also enjoy " he's short on money right now, I just couldnt take it from the guy". Why would you agree to play for money then lol
 
With BCA Rules 8-ball (meaning call shot), the guy I beat 4-1 told me I crapped shape everytime to get out.
 
We have a guy in Des Moines that blames losing on the table, balls, cue, tip, someone talking 40ft away, the lights, the carpet, the cloth, the spot, the pockets, the waitress with the nice ass, his own team, the other team, the weather, the fact that he didn't get his parking spot by the front door, the snack bar kid, the bartender, the owner that lives three states away, that guy who pissed him off three months ago, and those are just a few of his excuses. Yeah, it's great playin that guy!!
 
Cloth was shit. Rail too hard or lively. God knows how many ive heard. I cant even think of a good one just because there are so many :lol:
 
"I woulda beat you if youda given me a shot"

I missed and gave him a shot, he missed and lost and then said,

"Well that wasn't the shot I needed"
 
I really like Shawn's


"I dogged the coin flip!!" :rotflmao1:


I cant WAIT to say that the next time i lose bad :lol:
 
The funniest one I ever heard when someone missed a shot was: *drum roll*

"I missed that one because I hit it too good."
 
big dog said:
we have a guy in des moines that blames losing on the table, balls, cue, tip, someone talking 40ft away, the lights, the carpet, the cloth, the spot, the pockets, the waitress with the nice ass, his own team, the other team, the weather, the fact that he didn't get his parking spot by the front door, the snack bar kid, the bartender, the owner that lives three states away, that guy who pissed him off three months ago, and those are just a few of his excuses. Yeah, it's great playin that guy!!
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classic!!!!!!!!!!
 
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