Lacking faith in yourself, and how do you deal with it?

P

poolmaster

Devilish
Silver Member
Did you ever played in a tournament, and when they called your match,
and you found out who your opponent is, you said, oh shit, I can't win
this one. Why does this happen? You could beat him, but because of his
recognition, your faith disappears. How many times, you had an easy out,
and this voice in your head says, wait a minute, you can't run out, you
can't beat him. You end up finding a way to fuk things up.:yikes:

I keep saying to myself, if I was brainless, I would have been such a
better player. It sounds funny, doesn't it? The question is, how do we
obtain the faith that we need. Is there a shortcut, or the only way is to
climb this mountain, and go over it? I keep on writing these threads, but
I think, these are the issues that we poolplayers deal with on the daily
basis. It's good to talk about it, and share our opinions.

This is what I feel like sometimes:deadhorse::deadhorse::banghead:
 
I have the same problem, most of the time I can be a run out player and follow through with everyshot to the next. But my problem is if I have something else on my mind and second guess myself on the shot and were Im going to be for position on my next shot. Then I think what if I miss:confused:,,where am I going to be at then and when I think like that I miss. I hate the fact that if my mind is some where else I lose all concentration on the game. I guess all I can say is keep your head in the game and go with your first instinct. I can honestly say that 99% of the time if I think I may miss I will. If I keep my confidence I will run out or if thats not possible I can do whatever is the best defensive shot to get to the next shot to be able to win the game ,,,,<<ED
 
outcome vs process

For myself, I have found that when I focus on things that I cannot control I do poorly. For example, if I am trying to beat someone to prove something (even to myself), I am going to have a hard time playing well. Even when you say to yourself, I just want to play my best, that is still result based, and you are putting pressure and expectation on yourself.

For me what works is to focus on goals that I CAN control. I accept that I may lose, I may even play bad, I may play well and then choke on the hill hill, whatever. What I can do for sure though is try my best and enjoy how tough the game is. Bottom line, when we started playing pool it was for the love of the game and to have fun challenging ourselves. When I focus on that good things usually happen...and when they don't I cope with it much better and enjoy the struggle!
 
Tin Man said:
For myself, I have found that when I focus on things that I cannot control I do poorly. For example, if I am trying to beat someone to prove something (even to myself), I am going to have a hard time playing well. Even when you say to yourself, I just want to play my best, that is still result based, and you are putting pressure and expectation on yourself.

For me what works is to focus on goals that I CAN control. I accept that I may lose, I may even play bad, I may play well and then choke on the hill hill, whatever. What I can do for sure though is try my best and enjoy how tough the game is. Bottom line, when we started playing pool it was for the love of the game and to have fun challenging ourselves. When I focus on that good things usually happen...and when they don't I cope with it much better and enjoy the struggle!
Click to expand...
We all start to play this game for the love of it, but then something weird starts to
happen. The deeper you get into the game, the more complicated it gets. Did you ever
notice, that when you're in a big match, and there is a lot riding on it, the love point
starts to dissappear somehow. The pressure and stress level kicks in, and all of the
sudden the game starts to feel like a job. I mean, if we love this game so much, how
come all these emotions come into play. Did you ever play pool all day long, and feel
like you had worked a double shift. I hope you know, what I tried to say.
 
poolmaster said:
Did you ever played in a tournament, and when they called your match,
and you found out who your opponent is, you said, oh shit, I can't win
this one. Why does this happen? You could beat him, but because of his
recognition, your faith disappears. How many times, you had an easy out,
and this voice in your head says, wait a minute, you can't run out, you
can't beat him. You end up finding a way to fuk things up.:yikes:

I keep saying to myself, if I was brainless, I would have been such a
better player. It sounds funny, doesn't it? The question is, how do we
obtain the faith that we need. Is there a shortcut, or the only way is to
climb this mountain, and go over it? I keep on writing these threads, but
I think, these are the issues that we poolplayers deal with on the daily
basis. It's good to talk about it, and share our opinions.

This is what I feel like sometimes:deadhorse::deadhorse::banghead:
Click to expand...


I don't know how to say this without insulting you, but I will try, and I truly mean no disrespect.

The fact is some people have it and some do not. What I am saying is that some people have the ability to control their emotions better than others. If you are one of those people who do not control them well you are already behind the power curve, but all hope is not lost, you just have to face your fear and through practice diminish it. The chances are real good that you will never over come it completely, but you can learn to control it.

I know you have heard many people say that you should play the table not the player, and this is very true. You have to put the other player completely out of your mind and focus only on your game and nothing else. It is simply mind over matter, you should pay no attention to your opponent, because he doesn't matter. If you miss a shot, sit down and focus on the table and hope to get another chance in that game, do not get upset and play the missed shot over in your head.

Last never tell yourself you can't win, because if you do you will do your best and give nothing away.
 
I can not explain the situation,but sometimes this relects reality.For example as a poor player,but a great matchmaker I have played some of the best players inthe world with big spots(guys who could answer your question eloquently with all this talk about shutting out things you can't control,shoot one shot at a time,stay down,follow through,zen philosophy etc) they win championships all the time and are looked up to by the great unwashed public.

But comes a time when I jacked the bet,and they realize I have the nuts...these same player suddenly breaks down, a term we use to describe this phenomena,a guy realizes he is not supposed to win and he falls apart too.He breaks down

It happens to everyone,I have won often because players break down when they realize they are in trouble.

I said it happens to everyone,but I am not including Louie Roberts. This guy could be in the worse game in the world with virtuously no chance to win,and still play his best,be 25 games down and come back.The rest of us tend to lose when we are supposed to lose
 
manwon said:
...all hope is not lost, you just have to face your fear and through practice diminish it....you can learn to control it.
..If you miss a shot, sit down and focus on the table and hope to get another chance in that game...Last never tell yourself you can't win, because if you do you will do your best and give nothing away.
Click to expand...

I kept just the things I really liked about Manwon's perspective above. I think the key is to practice ways of thinking. Mental strength, desire to win, cocky confidence, sincere desire to learn something about you, him, and the game...

In my weakest performances, I already had excuse in my head (tired, have a long drive ahead, back/feet hurt, haven't eaten in 9 hours), and then I lay down like a dog. A freaking dog. And it's sort of okay on one level because the great player was supposed to win, right? So I didn't really do anything but miss an opportunity to fire at someone better. But it hurts and I hate myself for it after.

But otherwise (and I think this is the way we should practice thinking), I LOVE to play the best players. We play how many weekly, monthly, major tourneys, and how often do we get to draw Somebody Important? This is your chance to play S.I.- you're not going to gamble with him, and you're not going to get a good game even if he did agree to play for funsies. So this is what you've been waiting for. This is the real test, as tourney players: can I get BiH off them? Can I get out if I do? How many games can I get off on them? End- rail to end- rail, what do THEY do? Can I win?

Another thought: sometimes we play a weaker player and don't play our super best safeties. Well Somebody Important better be able to kick from nowhere and get out, right? So lay your best frozen, stuffed in the middle safety on them and see what they do back. They can take it. Oh, wait, they can't? Better get out yourself, then.

Pump yourself up. Fire at them. Play smart. Get to breathing steam in and out from both nostrils. It feels like you're poking a tiger with a pointed stick and there are no cage walls between you. There's seriously a total high that comes from doing your best against someone no one (or, at least, you) would think you have a chance against.

And I disagree with the whole "leave the missed shot behind" advice. Miss a shot, sit down. Watch them and breathe. Take their rhythm and smoothness for yourself. And scientifically and realistically look at the shot you just missed and figure out how you shot it wrong. See the problem and the solution. Did you twitch? Calm down. Cut too thin? Next time thicker. Bank too short? Either hit the next on softer or change your hitpoint. Seriously- if you got the exact same shot again right now, how would you make it this time? Settle in your mind the RIGHT way to do it and then leave it alone. The shot will come up again- and probably in this same match. This time you won't do the same thing, and you understand why it goes or doesn't.

While you're waiting (even if it's racks) breathe. learn. trust yourself. remember anything can happen in your favor, and you can make it happen if you get to the table. And no matter what, you're going to learn right here and now about you, him, and the game.

What a rush.

So no matter what, you're going to be reliving the match after it's over. If you try hard you have more to work with and to learn from.
 
Some people will react to this situation thinking that it is a great chance to take out a big name, and some will think, "oh crap, I'm in trouble". Obviously the first one will tend to be in better shape. If you are not fortunate enough to naturally be the first one, you will have to develop some coping strategies. Maybe having a song that runs through your head and gets you in your groove, or a saying that you have that increases your focus. The beauty of pool is that it is truely you vs. the table. Focus on trying to play your best game instead of getting caught up into who you are playing.
 
I'm nothing special, but all I do is accept it for what it is... that you aren't playing your opponent unless necessary.

The table lays out one way or another and it's up to you to do what's smart. He can't get out off his chair and stop you so it's all you and the ghost really.

Get the opponent out of your head, nothing but you and the table.
 
leaving the missed shot behind

Excellent post by BB and they touched on a key, putting a miss behind you emotionally. If you do that simply by saying I goofed, laugh, and move on or if you break down why you missed and move on, either way you move on.

Something else that is huge is sitting in the chair calmly as mentioned. A great old player beat me to death when I was a kid until I learned to just be a spectator in the chair. When I was antsy in the chair I jumped up when he missed and usually missed myself in a shot or two because of rushing things.

One of the easiest things to say and hardest to do without lots of practice is not to think in the past or future. When you are focused on the shot standing up and not thinking of anything at all when down on the shot things will work just fine. When you are down on the shot and thinking about who you are playing or what the score is it is time to straighten up and chill a little before trying to get down on the shot again. Rarely does anything good happen when you don't let conditioned training do it's job without interference from the conscious brain. As others have said in other words before me, it is your show while you are on the table for as long as you are on the table. It doesn't matter if it is a monster or a mouse in the chair.

Hu



blah blah said:
I kept just the things I really liked about Manwon's perspective above. I think the key is to practice ways of thinking. Mental strength, desire to win, cocky confidence, sincere desire to learn something about you, him, and the game...

In my weakest performances, I already had excuse in my head (tired, have a long drive ahead, back/feet hurt, haven't eaten in 9 hours), and then I lay down like a dog. A freaking dog. And it's sort of okay on one level because the great player was supposed to win, right? So I didn't really do anything but miss an opportunity to fire at someone better. But it hurts and I hate myself for it after.

But otherwise (and I think this is the way we should practice thinking), I LOVE to play the best players. We play how many weekly, monthly, major tourneys, and how often do we get to draw Somebody Important? This is your chance to play S.I.- you're not going to gamble with him, and you're not going to get a good game even if he did agree to play for funsies. So this is what you've been waiting for. This is the real test, as tourney players: can I get BiH off them? Can I get out if I do? How many games can I get off on them? End- rail to end- rail, what do THEY do? Can I win?

Another thought: sometimes we play a weaker player and don't play our super best safeties. Well Somebody Important better be able to kick from nowhere and get out, right? So lay your best frozen, stuffed in the middle safety on them and see what they do back. They can take it. Oh, wait, they can't? Better get out yourself, then.

Pump yourself up. Fire at them. Play smart. Get to breathing steam in and out from both nostrils. It feels like you're poking a tiger with a pointed stick and there are no cage walls between you. There's seriously a total high that comes from doing your best against someone no one (or, at least, you) would think you have a chance against.

And I disagree with the whole "leave the missed shot behind" advice. Miss a shot, sit down. Watch them and breathe. Take their rhythm and smoothness for yourself. And scientifically and realistically look at the shot you just missed and figure out how you shot it wrong. See the problem and the solution. Did you twitch? Calm down. Cut too thin? Next time thicker. Bank too short? Either hit the next on softer or change your hitpoint. Seriously- if you got the exact same shot again right now, how would you make it this time? Settle in your mind the RIGHT way to do it and then leave it alone. The shot will come up again- and probably in this same match. This time you won't do the same thing, and you understand why it goes or doesn't.

While you're waiting (even if it's racks) breathe. learn. trust yourself. remember anything can happen in your favor, and you can make it happen if you get to the table. And no matter what, you're going to learn right here and now about you, him, and the game.

What a rush.

So no matter what, you're going to be reliving the match after it's over. If you try hard you have more to work with and to learn from.
Click to expand...
 
ARROWCRUSHER said:
I have the same problem, most of the time I can be a run out player and follow through with everyshot to the next. But my problem is if I have something else on my mind and second guess myself on the shot and were Im going to be for position on my next shot. Then I think what if I miss:confused:,,where am I going to be at then and when I think like that I miss. I hate the fact that if my mind is some where else I lose all concentration on the game. I guess all I can say is keep your head in the game and go with your first instinct. I can honestly say that 99% of the time if I think I may miss I will. If I keep my confidence I will run out or if thats not possible I can do whatever is the best defensive shot to get to the next shot to be able to win the game ,,,,<<ED
Click to expand...
Same here, sometimes it feels, like I'm afraid to make the ball. How nuts does that
sound? Controling your mind is the hardest obsticle, that we have to face. I guess it's
like they say, go back to the drawing board, and try to work on your mistakes.
 
manwon said:
I don't know how to say this without insulting you, but I will try, and I truly mean no disrespect.

The fact is some people have it and some do not. What I am saying is that some people have the ability to control their emotions better than others. If you are one of those people who do not control them well you are already behind the power curve, but all hope is not lost, you just have to face your fear and through practice diminish it. The chances are real good that you will never over come it completely, but you can learn to control it.

I know you have heard many people say that you should play the table not the player, and this is very true. You have to put the other player completely out of your mind and focus only on your game and nothing else. It is simply mind over matter, you should pay no attention to your opponent, because he doesn't matter. If you miss a shot, sit down and focus on the table and hope to get another chance in that game, do not get upset and play the missed shot over in your head.

Last never tell yourself you can't win, because if you do you will do your best and give nothing away.
Click to expand...
I'm not isulted, on the contrary, you said it like it is,and you're so right. Perhaps we ask
too much of ourselves. We can't achieve perfection, cause we're humans. That being
said, I think we should be focused on getting as close as possible to perfection. Once
again, good post.
 
I've never faced this situation.....the closest I can come to it is when during league play.....I find myself playing a top tier..... low handicap player. Yup....your right....no marbles riding on the outcome.....but the emotional involvement is much the same.....the feeling that your odds on favorite to .....LOSE.....After I clear the butterflies from my stomach...I resolve to do my utter best....and let the chips fall where they may....I'm not a bad player.....and hell......even a blind squirrel finds an acorn now and then.......Dan
 
Good question.

This is something that every player, no matter who, goes through at least at some point in their pool life.

First of all, there are thousands of answers, and they are all right. But, the most important thing to remember, is to enjoy it. Enjoy the shots, and the game. You should have an evil smile on your face when you get a chance at the table. Almost to the point that you want to jump out of your shoes and laugh!!! When you make it unenjoyable, then you have defeated yourself. Sometimes when I forget to have fun, I am looking for a result, and not enjoying the present. You have to be excited, even when forced with a tough proposition. Whisper to yourself "yeah mother!#!#$, c'mon!!!!" and get pumped!


Second.. You have 3 things to get rid of... Fear, anxiety, and guilt.

If you have done your homework (practice.. breaking, drills, english,) You shouldn't have any anxiety. If you don't have anxiety, then what are you afraid of? Are you afraid of losing? Why? You are going to lose a lot on the way up. Why not just play? He doesn't care how good you play. He doesn't rate you for your mistakes.

Now that you have realized that you have nothing to be afraid of, you have erased the anxiety. Guilt, either from missing, or making a mistake is unacceptable. It serves you no purpose. Erase the guilt ("I should have shot it this way.... I should have pushed... I shouldn't have missed that easy shot... I didn't practice well enough").

Now you have nothing left, except to enjoy pool, and the game. Matches are not for you to judge and analyze your game. They are for playing. Feel free to analyze it afterwards, but don't be down on yourself. This is all easier to say than to do, but it is correct.
 
> The way that the OP described the situation,I can honestly say NO,or at least not the way they explain it.

I've never EVER left the house not intent on beating any living human I run across,be it a tournament,gambling,or just hitting balls. If there is doubt in my mind,it is in my preparation,not in MYSELF. I'm not saying I can beat everyone,but you can believe that IS my plan. Until I've been in the box with a player I've never played and been beaten several times,I always assume I CAN win.

It's probably a good thing I don't have an unlimited bankroll like some,or I'd be supporting pool all by myself,because anyone that breathes air could get a few sets off me.

The balls don't care what the opponent's name is,and IMO you shouldn't either. Let's face it though,it DOES matter to some people.

The best player I've ever beaten in a tournament was Dave Matlock,race to 7,bar table 9-ball. I completely outplayed him to 6-3,then lost a couple games on just bad decisions. I went to the bathroom and regrouped,wrestled my way into ball-in-hand,and ran out a tough rack with 40 people watching.

I also went into the match expecting to do exactly that.

The only other times I've drawn a known pro in a big tournament was in '95 (Earl) and in 2000 (Parica). I attacked them too,but lost to 2 superior players,not their names or reps. I don't play scared. Tommy D.
 
my problem as well

I believe this is holding me back from making the jump to an A player. I believe I just put too much pressure on myself to perform at the best of my ability come match time. Like someone said in a previous post I believe we all struggle with this at sometime and if you want it bad enough you will find a way too work thru it.

I've been experimenting playing with my mp3 player lately and it's helped me keep my focus on the task at hand and not on "who I'm playing and the what if's"
 
In the context of the OP post, self confidence has two primary roots. The first is in what you know you can do. That is you know you can run two racks about 50% of the time. You are confident in what you can do given an average day.

The second more important aspect is what you do to yourself given a potential loss. If you know that you will not beat yourself up for losing when you have given your best effort then you do not lose self confidence. This may sound backwards but here is how it works.

Let’s say I am playing a guy who routinely runs a six pack and I know that I routinely run a two pack. When we play I know that I am the underdog and that unless I play smart, he is going to win. Even if I play my best, get the rolls and keep my head playing safes when I should, it is still likely that he will win. OK those are the facts and like it or not I am in the tournament and need to have some heart – what do I do given that I know what is in front of me?

I only need to play my best game. Personally, I know that it is now about heart not skill. I have no problem with not caving in nor expecting me do much better than usual. I will not be angry or upset with myself for not being able to play at his level. I will be upset if I don’t play at my level and if I do not have the guts to play my best and lose.

So you see when I can accept defeat, given my best efforts then I can play my best, I may not win but I know myself and I know that I am going to get in a few licks that will leave a mark. Most importantly, I have my own integrity.

Perhaps as a kid you have been in a fist fight you knew you could not win. You knew it, took it on anyway and only needed to get in a few good shots to keep your self respect. And so you said, “Let’s get it on.” You and possibly your friends walked away a loser but a winner in your head. A fist fight – a pool match, not much different.

So you see, heart knows that regardless of the outcome, you gave it your best shot and you like who you are, win, lose or draw. No one can defeat you because only you are the judge of your character.

With this kind of attitude you can take on Johnny Archer and Johnny Archer can take on a 5-1 potential loss and with a couple of good rolls win the match. For those who didn’t see it, he did just that in the Mosconi Cup yesterday. We all get in over our heads from time to time and it is what we know about ourselves that leads to self confidence.

When you know, and more importantly accept, yourself with your strengths and limitations no one can beat you. I learned that on the streets but if was firmly embedded in the USMC. Have to give credit where credit is due. Semper Fi is more than a motto, it is a way of life. There is a reason that a devil dog is our mascot long before the name was given.

Tattoo that devil dog on your pool case and no one can beat you.

http://www.oo-rah.com/store/editorial/edi52.asp
 
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