How do you act, when you lose?
- Thread starter 8onthebreak
- Start date
Very good thread.
As many have noted, you must lose wth dignity and good sportsmanship.
Still, I think there's more to it. You must lose with accountability. Barring that very rare exception where you lose on something really freakish, you must hold yourself accountable for losing. Most of the time, the what ifs are only meaningful if you learn from them.
Hold yourself totally accountable for your results. Jeanette Lee gave me that piece of advice over fifteen years ago, and I have tried to do so ever since.
As many have noted, you must lose wth dignity and good sportsmanship.
Still, I think there's more to it. You must lose with accountability. Barring that very rare exception where you lose on something really freakish, you must hold yourself accountable for losing. Most of the time, the what ifs are only meaningful if you learn from them.
Hold yourself totally accountable for your results. Jeanette Lee gave me that piece of advice over fifteen years ago, and I have tried to do so ever since.
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Getting or showing anger is a self defeating proposition. It also works
on you long after match conclusion. Yes, I did it early. It was
mostly sharking that focused me. Even asked a couple to step
outside.
Now, about 80% of the time I talk to my opponent and ask a
clarifying question about a shot or aspect of the game where my
opponent was superior. The other 20%, I say, good match and
pack my cue and walk to my car.
Doesn't always work, but it keeps a sore loser like myself from
acting like a loser. I have been on this program about 2 years
now.
on you long after match conclusion. Yes, I did it early. It was
mostly sharking that focused me. Even asked a couple to step
outside.
Now, about 80% of the time I talk to my opponent and ask a
clarifying question about a shot or aspect of the game where my
opponent was superior. The other 20%, I say, good match and
pack my cue and walk to my car.
Doesn't always work, but it keeps a sore loser like myself from
acting like a loser. I have been on this program about 2 years
now.
Winning is easy.
Losing graciously is an art form.
Regardless of how I feel inside I always make my opponent feel good about winning.
Then I go outside and slash his tires.
Losing graciously is an art form.
Regardless of how I feel inside I always make my opponent feel good about winning.
Then I go outside and slash his tires.
I have acted very poorly in the past. I have also learned the hard way that if I allow myself to go on tilt during or after....nothing good is going to happen.
I find when I'm gracious...sportsmanlike...and I keep my composure my focus is much better and I play at a much higher level. I'm a firm believer(now) that respecting yourself/your opponent/the equipment is neccessary(at least for me) to playing my best game of pool.
I find when I'm gracious...sportsmanlike...and I keep my composure my focus is much better and I play at a much higher level. I'm a firm believer(now) that respecting yourself/your opponent/the equipment is neccessary(at least for me) to playing my best game of pool.
..............
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When I lose I fart rainbows and unicorns fly figure eights while angels sing.
Seriously, it takes every bit of internal effort to stop myself from really losing by acting like one. I'm getting better at it but it will never be easy for me.
Edited to add: I'm a SL7 in 8 ball APA but haven't played APA in years. I'm a SL 8 in 8 ball (BCA rules in house league).
Seriously, it takes every bit of internal effort to stop myself from really losing by acting like one. I'm getting better at it but it will never be easy for me.
Edited to add: I'm a SL7 in 8 ball APA but haven't played APA in years. I'm a SL 8 in 8 ball (BCA rules in house league).
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Well I have to say that when I lose because I did something to make myself lose then I completely lose it and go ballistic. I throw my cues and start kicking chairs. All of that of course goes on inside my mind. Externally I am usually about the same no matter what happens. I congratulate the person for beating me and move on. I know that I will never play another game exactly like that one so I should just move on.
I hate losing just as much as anyone else but I refuse to appear badly. Somehow I feel that if I really show how I feel or lose my cool then the other players in the poolroom will somehow be able to use that against me in future matches. I just try to say the right things win or lose and find a way to go smoke a cigarette sooner than later if I am really frustrated so I can make sure I get my mind back straight. Usually by the time the smoke is done I am able to talk about the game with someone on the sideline or talk more with the opponent.
Sometimes the winner seems to want to talk about his victory so I try to oblige. I know that occassionally when I win I get a good internal boost from it and assume that when I get beat that opponent could be feeling proud of his accomplishmentand want to get feedback from me on his play or certain situations that came up. Either way, just because someone appears to accept a loss doesn't mean they are ok with it. Whenever someone asks me how they can get better at pool, I usually say that it depends how much you hate losing. Regarding my level, I have no idea other than I play way worse than I want to.
Sometimes the winner seems to want to talk about his victory so I try to oblige. I know that occassionally when I win I get a good internal boost from it and assume that when I get beat that opponent could be feeling proud of his accomplishmentand want to get feedback from me on his play or certain situations that came up. Either way, just because someone appears to accept a loss doesn't mean they are ok with it. Whenever someone asks me how they can get better at pool, I usually say that it depends how much you hate losing. Regarding my level, I have no idea other than I play way worse than I want to.
It is your response to winning and losing that makes you a winner or a loser.
I am an APA 6. I definately desire and always have intentions of taking the high road. I believe in good sportsmanship and try to carry myself as such. However, I am an emotional person, very competitive and I hold myself to a high standard when I play. I have no tolerance when I play below my ability or when I choke, etc. and sometimes my emotions get the best of me. I am not proud to say that I have thrown my stick down a few times and also uttered a few curse words (I always feel like a jerk for doing so later - once my emotions settle down). I never do these things when i am outplayed - only when i perceive i played poorly. Most of the time, i congratulate my oponent and shake his/her hand and let them know they shot well and i enjoyed the match. I still do this even in the rare circumstance when I have my little temper tantrums, which probably come across disingenuous. I have been working extremely hard to keep my emotions in check, and I really have minimized these occurrences, which happen only in my league play. In tournament play, I have never outwardly shown my emotions in this way and manage to be graceful in losing, no matter how disappointing (oh, and I have been disappointed!).
My poor dad usually lets me rant & rave in the car on the way home from matches like this - letting me vent & get it out of my system. This makes me feel better and at least my outburst happens in private (he's a good man, my dad. I would never put up with me).
- Steve
My poor dad usually lets me rant & rave in the car on the way home from matches like this - letting me vent & get it out of my system. This makes me feel better and at least my outburst happens in private (he's a good man, my dad. I would never put up with me).
- Steve
The last time I lost, I took her to dinner then to bed...
Yeah, my wife.
It's cheaper to break your cue!!!
i am much better now than years ago.....old age i guess, i don't even want to talk about the actions from that time. i never got mad by someone beating me, only when i beat myself. i hold my game to hight standards considering the time and effort i put in it. now the worst it will get, after shaking his hand politely and telling him, "good shooting", i talk to myself on the way back to my chair, telling myself what a horrible player i was among other things i do not want to print here on the forum. 
I am a Skill Level 5 in the APA. I wear my emotions on my sleeve, I am never disrespectful to my opponent but I will beat the hell out of myself if I dogg a shot or play poor position.
I never get loud or anything that and after a loss I shake my opponents hand and tell him a job well done. I have gotten better with my emotions because I found by being hard on myself I gave my opponent the upper hand on me.
I never get loud or anything that and after a loss I shake my opponents hand and tell him a job well done. I have gotten better with my emotions because I found by being hard on myself I gave my opponent the upper hand on me.
I feel that I don't act as good as I should, because sometimes I'm clearly upset at myself. I always make it a point to shake hands and say "good game" or "nice shooting" or whatnot. But I expect that my body language and muttering to myself gives away the fact that I'm not as gracious a loser as I could be.
It all depends on the match, too. If I get beaten, by someone shooting better than me, no problem. That's how it goes. I have been happy and pleased for opponents who have beaten me before, especially newer players that play a great game.
If I beat myself, and make stupid mistakes, then I am likely to be very upset and disappointed in myself. That's when I fear I let too much show. Never to the point of throwing things, or breaking stuff, or that. Just too much sulking and a generally bad attitude. I've been working on it, and I don't think I am nearly as bad about it as I was not that long ago. (I get a lot of practice, since I lose a lot!)
It all depends on the match, too. If I get beaten, by someone shooting better than me, no problem. That's how it goes. I have been happy and pleased for opponents who have beaten me before, especially newer players that play a great game.
If I beat myself, and make stupid mistakes, then I am likely to be very upset and disappointed in myself. That's when I fear I let too much show. Never to the point of throwing things, or breaking stuff, or that. Just too much sulking and a generally bad attitude. I've been working on it, and I don't think I am nearly as bad about it as I was not that long ago. (I get a lot of practice, since I lose a lot!)
