Dealing with anger when underperforming?

R

RonnieOSullivan

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
I've been playing relatively seriously for a year or so now after merely being a banger and watching pool or snooker on TV here or there; I love to watch, study, and play pool, but I feel like since I've begun taking it more seriously than a drinking activity, I find myself getting angry the majority of the time I'm playing.

When I'm playing well, I enjoy it; I make shots I need to make, have good speed, and play well, beating people that are over my head. But, if I'm playing league, I'll be losing to somebody I feel I should beat, and just get angrier and angrier and miss more and more shots or hook myself when, if I were in a good, confident mood, I feel I'd be making shots regularly and with ease.

Even when I'm practicing, I find myself getting angrier and angrier (losing to the ghost, that sort of thing), till I just realize I'm not enjoying myself at all.

Am I expecting too much of myself? What's the best way to get over the anger from underperforming that apparently debilitates me and causes me to get even worse? I want to get a lot better but when I am stuck in ruts, I just get angry with myself and don't enjoy playing.
 
It is very frustrating to play well below your ability or lose to much weaker players, especially in front of other people. I tend to get angry too and that just makes everything worse. It sounds like it could be overconfidence or you might be taking your opponent for granted and expecting to win.
 
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The first step is realizing that the expectations you have of yourself are too high. That is a common problem. You have a day where you are in dead stroke, can't miss anything, and you think that is how well you play and that you should be playing that well every time. You need to realize that those days are the exception, not the norm. Your average play is realistically well below that level of play. Your skill level is not a measure of how well you play when everything is going well and you're firing on all cylinders, it is a measure of well you can play on a bad day when nothing seems to go right. Realize that, and work on improving your consistency, and it will get better.
 
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Baxter said:
The first step is realizing that the expectations you have of yourself are too high. That is a common problem. You have a day where you are in dead stroke, can't miss anything, and you think that is how well you play and that you should be playing that well every time. You need to realize that those days are the exception, not the norm. Your average play is realistically well below that level of play. Your skill level is not a measure of how well you play when everything is going well and you're firing on all cylinders, it is a measure of well you can play on a bad day when nothing seems to go right. Realize that, and work on improving your consistency, and it will get better.
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what he said
 
absolutely! Im more proud of the way I play when I'm having a night where things aren't clicking and I have to grind it out or make some adjustments and still find a way to win. Anyone can win when there in dead stroke and all the rolls are going your way. Maintaining your composure and focus when they aren't is when you find out who you are as a player. I try to remember that no matter how much time I put in to the game..no matter how much better I become sometimes I'm just gonna miss! Sometimes I'm going to blow position! It happens to everyone at every level. If this happens and I feel I did everything right..I went through my pre-shot routine, nice slow back stroke, hit it smooth with follow through then I shrug it off. When I do those things I make A LOT of balls...but I'm not going to make every ball so it is what it is.



Baxter said:
The first step is realizing that the expectations you have of yourself are too high. That is a common problem. You have a day where you are in dead stroke, can't miss anything, and you think that is how well you play and that you should be playing that well every time. You need to realize that those days are the exception, not the norm. Your average play is realistically well below that level of play. Your skill level is not a measure of how well you play when everything is going well and you're firing on all cylinders, it is a measure of well you can play on a bad day when nothing seems to go right. Realize that, and work on improving your consistency, and it will get better.
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Keeping your mind on a even keel is vitally important when your playing at a high level. No highs, no lows, just going through your thought process and treating every shot the same. Making great shots is fun but save the fist pumping for that final ball, missing is part of the game. If you never missed you wouldn't be talking to us, you'd be spending your millions and and writing your fourth book on the game. Keep things in perspective, keep a positive attitude no matter the most recent results. This game is a fickle b*tch, some days she loves you the next she hates your guts. How you respond defines you, not the game. Getting pissed while playing is a sure fire way to insure you'll make thing worse. We all do it to some extent that's the biggest thing, in my opinion, what separates the world beaters from the bangers. You may notice watching the pros that some can get really upset during play, but they have an ability to let themselves get pissed and then leave all at the chair when it's their next turn. I am not suggesting you keep it pent up inside, I am suggesting you find some amount of acceptance on every failure big or small and move on. In the long run you'll become a much better player and I think you'll enjoy the game even more. It is truly mental, Good luck,
 
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I'm a hyper competitive person. I like to compete at anything. If I lose at something it bothers me well afterwards. If I think I might lose it bothers me. I've always assumed that that's what drives to get better at whatever I'm competing at. Also, I think that's what drives me to not let things bother me when I play.

The day I take a game or sport serious is usually the last time I really have "fun" playing. Sure I enjoy competing, but its a different "fun."

I've been in a pool room with other serious players and pointed out to them that group of friends that are banging balls around, playing horriable, and having more fun that way then any of us "serious" players will probably ever have again. I just think that's truthfully the way it is with anything we take serious.

I don't believe anyone can really stop their emotions from occurring. If you get angry with something, you're wasting your time if you try to stop it from happening. All you can do is direct it in a manner that will help yourself succeed.
If you didn't care when you failed at something I believe that would be a larger problem. Try to look at it that way. It's just like life.

Mike
 
fasted71465 said:
Read the book Pleasure of Small Motion by Bob Fancher, PhD.
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and then read it again....

fantastic book.. the only section that i thought was a bit off was the part about rhythm, i think the author got a bit carried away there... but the rest of it is spot on and certainly improved my league performances

Cheers

Bob
 
bobforest said:
and then read it again....

fantastic book.. the only section that i thought was a bit off was the part about rhythm, i think the author got a bit carried away there... but the rest of it is spot on and certainly improved my league performances

Cheers

Bob
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+1 for this, excellent book.

You'll get your money's worth out of the first couple chapters.

- Andy

Sent from my C771 using Tapatalk 2
 
Anger is the enemy of your pool game. The minute you lose your temper, you allow it to get the better of you, and every distraction around you will become an "excuse" for why you can't play better. Understanding fundamentally that everyone misses, and that focusing on your own consistency will overcome poor play, are the keys to solving your problems on the table.

Scott Lee
http://poolknowledge.com
 
My friend read both this book as well as A Mind for Pool by Phil Capelle. He actually felt Phil's book helped him more.

Funny thing is he was the same as the OP, getting angry, frustrated, etc. He started pool late in life. The anger he showed was tough to watch, so I gave him the book.

My story is I started playing at a very young age. I had these same actions when I got to a certain level and felt I couldn't get over that plateau. I thought it was because I was just an immature 14 year old when I looked back at it.

But seeing posts like these make me realize pool is a game that becomes a passion and can frustrate the crap out of people at any age!
 
Most people can not function at a high level when they lose their composure. There are some that can use their anger to kick it into a higher gear but people like that are few and far between.

I find that when I make an error I can't analyze the why of it if I'm running around blowing off steam. And if I can't figure out why I make an error I can't correct it and that continues the cycle of mistakes and poor play.

I don't (can't) make a living at this game so it's meant to be fun and relaxing for me. If it wasn't I wouldn't play. Of course it's more fun when I play well and win.

Lose your temper, lose the game, period.
 
The mental part is the hardest. The trick I found over time is to gradually limit what anger I will
allow other people to see. I just gradually made up rules and stuck to them.

I used to yell and throw fits and smack my cue.
If you don't have such a severe reaction, good... DON'T START.
It's a lame, shitty, expensive habit.

What I learned to do (after three ruined shafts and a few popped tips) is never hit the table
with my cue. I just made that rule and stuck to it. "Do what you gotta do, flip out if you want,
but do not ever smack the stick on the table. That's it. You're done with that forever."

To this day when I get extra pissed I usually toss my cue (gently) onto the table
just to get it out of my hands. That way I can't hurt it.

Next I made a rule, no more lengthy fits. I can say something, even say it loudly, but ten seconds
after the shot ended, it's over. No more crying about it. It's over.

I've found over time that if you don't ACT angry, you will BE less angry.
I don't know if you can ever be 100% not angry, a little is the natural side effect of being competitive.

The other thing that helps is to have a mindset like...
"Anger is just another form of crying about a missed shot."
It's indulging yourself and whining when you should be sucking it up and handling
your screwups like a man. Really it's something to be embarrassed about.
So... don't shame yourself in front of everyone. Man up and handle
your miss instead of crying and pitching a fit over it. That stuff's for little kids.
Grimace, cuss a little, and then move on.

edit: just wanted to add Baxter's got a great point.
The most senseless anger is when people pitch a fit after missing a difficult shot.
It doesn't make any sense... why be pissed when you miss a tough shot?
You're SUPPOSED to miss it. That's why it's called a "tough shot" and not a "hanger".
You have to be honest with yourself about what's tough and what's not, at your current skill level.
Don't say "Shane makes that 100 out of 100, I'm so mad". That's not a good mindset to have
right after you miss. You're not a pro and can't hold yourself to a pro's standards.
 
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I know it is easier said than done, but it's really important for you to control your emotions and stay focused on every game, even when you are winning. Once your emotions get the better of you, you find yourself missing the simplest of shot. Just enjoy pool as it is. :smile:

Brice
 
Getting angry with yourself, even in practice is a good thing IMO. It shows you care and will drive you to success.
But letting people know you're pissed off, especially an opponent isn't the best thing you can do.
I either keep quiet and go sit in my seat, or laugh it off. In my head I'm calling my self every curse word I can think off, but no one would ever notice.
Also, in a match once you sit down after a mistake just let it go. Get mad at yourself on your way back to your chair, but once you're sat down just concentrate on the table, and what your opponent has to do to win the frame. This will help you with not dwelling on it too much.
 
Pidge said:
Getting angry with yourself, even in practice is a good thing IMO. It shows you care and will drive you to success.
But letting people know you're pissed off, especially an opponent isn't the best thing you can do.
I either keep quiet and go sit in my seat, or laugh it off. In my head I'm calling my self every curse word I can think off, but no one would ever notice.
Also, in a match once you sit down after a mistake just let it go. Get mad at yourself on your way back to your chair, but once you're sat down just concentrate on the table, and what your opponent has to do to win the frame. This will help you with not dwelling on it too much.
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Good take & good advice. I PM'd something very similar. You saying it a bit differently & me putting them together might help.

All the Best,
Rick
 
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