This is an insulting, useless thread

[Floppage]

Being new here, I feel like I'm playing catch up on all the insults. Rather than do this piecemeal I am going to just try to get everyone in one post. So here goes...


Q. How do you get rid of a professional pool player?
A. Pay him for the pizza.

Q. What is the difference between a pool table mechanic and God?
A. God doesn't think he's a pool table mechanic.

Q. What do you call a professional pool player without a girlfriend?
A. Homeless

Son: Dad, I want to make a living as a tournament promoter.
Dad: Son, you can't have it both ways.

Q. How many pool hustlers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. 5. One to change the bulb and 4 to talk about how great the old one used to be.

Q. How many pool table mechanics does it take to change a light bulb?
A. 5. One to change the bulb and 4 to claim they could have done it better.

Q. Why do pool table mechanics put their company names on the side of their vehicles?
A. So they can park in handicapped spots.

Q. How do road players get better gas mileage?
A. Take the Domino's Pizza sign off the top of the car.

Q. What's the difference between a beginning pool player and a dog?
A. The dog knows when to stop scratching.

Q. What did the forum moderator get on his IQ test?
A. Saliva

I think that covers most of you. If you feel like you were left out of this please feel free to assume someone (me or otherwise) has told you to "F off" and feel free to be offended.

 

[jaetee]

Okay...., that was funny.

Probably because I'm neither a pro tournament player, road player, table mechanic or promoter...

But it's a partial list.... You missed the obvious target on league players and league operators!? WTF?

 

[Floppage]

Okay...., that was funny.

Probably because I'm neither a pro tournament player, road player, table mechanic or promoter...

But it's a partial list.... You missed the obvious target on league players and league operators!? WTF?

A mugger jumps out from behind a bush, holding a gun and demands "give me your money". The victim quickly informs him "Hold on! I run a pool league." The mugger responds with "ok, fine...give me my money".



That's the best I can do on short notice.

 

[cuesblues]

Are we doing insults or jokes?
There's not a lot of humor in pool, insults are routine, but don't get started on those ****ing cuemakers.

"How do you like your new Xyzman Cue"
"It's the worst ****ing cue I've ever played with, the guy is a hack, I think the handle is porchwood"

 

[Okie]

Being new here, I feel like I'm playing catch up on all the insults. Rather than do this piecemeal I am going to just try to get everyone in one post. So here goes...


Q. How do you get rid of a professional pool player?
A. Pay him for the pizza.

Q. What is the difference between a pool table mechanic and God?
A. God doesn't think he's a pool table mechanic.

Q. What do you call a professional pool player without a girlfriend?
A. Homeless

Son: Dad, I want to make a living as a tournament promoter.
Dad: Son, you can't have it both ways.

Q. How many pool hustlers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. 5. One to change the bulb and 4 to talk about how great the old one used to be.

Q. How many pool table mechanics does it take to change a light bulb?
A. 5. One to change the bulb and 4 to claim they could have done it better.

Q. Why do pool table mechanics put their company names on the side of their vehicles?
A. So they can park in handicapped spots.

Q. How do road players get better gas mileage?
A. Take the Domino's Pizza sign off the top of the car.

Q. What's the difference between a beginning pool player and a dog?
A. The dog knows when to stop scratching.

Q. What did the forum moderator get on his IQ test?
A. Saliva

I think that covers most of you. If you feel like you were left out of this please feel free to assume someone (me or otherwise) has told you to "F off" and feel free to be offended.

You left off pool instructors...certified and/or otherwise

Good thread!

Ken

 

[jaetee]

A mugger jumps out from behind a bush, holding a gun and demands "give me your money". The victim quickly informs him "Hold on! I run a pool league." The mugger responds with "ok, fine...give me my money".

That's the best I can do on short notice.

Well done!

 

[Floppage]

You left off pool instructors...certified and/or otherwise

Good thread!

Ken

Q. What's the first thing you say when you meet a BCA certified instructor?
A. Whether you want a booth or a table.

 

[Baxter]

You left off pool instructors...certified and/or otherwise

Good thread!

Ken

That's because his girlfriend is an instructor/LO :grin:

 

[Floppage]

That's because his girlfriend is an instructor/LO :grin:

Oh yeah...as if she gets to escape my horrible sense of humor.

 

[Baxter]

Oh yeah...as if she gets to escape my horrible sense of humor.

Nobody does lol. Every man knows what it takes to stay out of the dog house.

 

[victorl]

Awesome thread... Mind if I add a couple?

Who won the match between the ghost-ball aimer and the CTE player?
Neither. They got into an argument in the first game and it came down to a fistfight. The CTE guy kept making glancing blows to edge of his opponent's face, while the ghost-ball guy missed every punch by exactly a head's width.

Why do they call them Cyclop balls?
Because it sounds better than One-Eyed Monster balls.

 

[theattendant]

The thread title is very misleading, I expected to feel much more insulted, and it was quite useful in giving me the laugh I needed after today. Nice job!

 

[runouteasy]

What's the difference between a pool player and a pizza?




A pizza feeds a family of four!

 

[TX Poolnut]

A pro pool player and his backer are in a car. Who's driving?

The cops.

 

[victorl]

What did the poolplayer say to the guy who tried to air-barrel him?

Pay up, I ain't got enough to pay the table.


What do you call a handful of old men sleeping?

A gallery at a pool tournament.

 

[LuckyStroke]

Me: Did you hear SVB won a third consecutive US open?

League player: has he ever won the APA nationals?

Me: Professionals aren't allowed to compete in amateur events

League player: Well he can't be all that good

Ben

 

[pt109]

How come billiard mechanics always seem to be stretching it?

 

[bbb]

Awesome thread... Mind if I add a couple?

Who won the match between the ghost-ball aimer and the CTE player?
Neither. They got into an argument in the first game and it came down to a fistfight. The CTE guy kept making glancing blows to edge of his opponent's face, while the ghost-ball guy missed every punch by exactly a head's width.

Why do they call them Cyclop balls?
Because it sounds better than One-Eyed Monster balls.

i almost spit my coffee on my computer from laughing at that one....:thumbup:

 

[measureman]

Awesome thread... Mind if I add a couple?

Who won the match between the ghost-ball aimer and the CTE player?
Neither. They got into an argument in the first game and it came down to a fistfight. The CTE guy kept making glancing blows to edge of his opponent's face, while the ghost-ball guy missed every punch by exactly a head's width.

Why do they call them Cyclop balls?
Because it sounds better than One-Eyed Monster balls.

this is a classic post.
:clapping::rotflmao1::clapping::rotflmao1:

 

[SJDinPHX]

Q..What do you get when you cross a Jew, with a professional pool player ?

A..A shiftless, unemployed lazy bum...with plenty of money in the bank !



(cleverly modified from the old joke, what do you get, crossing a Jew and a Pollock ?.."A janitor that owns the building")