I'm reading 'The Black Widow's Guide To Killer Pool'. DCP, it would do you good to read it. In the chapter on winning and losing attitudes, she has a few lines that seem to fit you.
The book is copyrighted, so I can't quote it. But in essence, she is saying that you need to have goals. The beginners get tied up with the goals and the results. But don't worry about the results. They will come when you stop berating yourself for failure to meet them. Don't necessarily jump on every shortcut, but enjoy the journey.